Depressed after intense binge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: El Paso TX
Posts: 7
Depressed after intense binge
Hello everyone! Im new to this forums and i really hope i can find help here.
Im 24 yo, i have been struggling with alcohol and drugs for a good 3 years straight. Im married and my wife is on the same situation, although she doesnt use as much drugs as i do.
We both love drinking but i feel like my body cant take it anymore, i feel tired and sad the next day after drinking.
This past weekend i had a 3 day of binging on ecstasy and 4 days of alcohol.
I feel like im wasting my life away, i have done a lot of damage to my body already. I feel disapointed to myself and to my family because i have done this for a long time.
I have tried to look for help at AA meetings but i always end up not wanting to go and relapse again.
It is imposible to stop drinking due to the fact that my wife doesnt want to stop, and it makes it difficult for me since i see her drinking.
I have been financially affected by alcohol, drugs, partying, etc.. Im unable to save up money for anything. My family feels down on me because i changed a lot, i was always a nice person, always happy and very close to them. And now im the opposite. I wish i could turn back time and say no to drugs but its too late.
I needed to talk about this with somebody because i am sure i cant with my friends or my wife. They wouldnt understand how i feel.
Im really looking foward to find help and advice from people who have felt this way before. And i hope i can get sober anytime soon
Im 24 yo, i have been struggling with alcohol and drugs for a good 3 years straight. Im married and my wife is on the same situation, although she doesnt use as much drugs as i do.
We both love drinking but i feel like my body cant take it anymore, i feel tired and sad the next day after drinking.
This past weekend i had a 3 day of binging on ecstasy and 4 days of alcohol.
I feel like im wasting my life away, i have done a lot of damage to my body already. I feel disapointed to myself and to my family because i have done this for a long time.
I have tried to look for help at AA meetings but i always end up not wanting to go and relapse again.
It is imposible to stop drinking due to the fact that my wife doesnt want to stop, and it makes it difficult for me since i see her drinking.
I have been financially affected by alcohol, drugs, partying, etc.. Im unable to save up money for anything. My family feels down on me because i changed a lot, i was always a nice person, always happy and very close to them. And now im the opposite. I wish i could turn back time and say no to drugs but its too late.
I needed to talk about this with somebody because i am sure i cant with my friends or my wife. They wouldnt understand how i feel.
Im really looking foward to find help and advice from people who have felt this way before. And i hope i can get sober anytime soon
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
It's not impossible to stop drinking just because your wife doesn't want to stop. Yes, it could be extremely difficult if you don't tell her you want to quit. It could be extremely difficult if she pressures you to drink after you've voiced your desire to quit. But it isn't impossible.
Support/recovery groups like AA would be a great place for you to go and get the support you feel you can't or won't get from your friends and wife. Sounds like your family might also be a good place to go and get that support.
My advice to you is to give it a try. You can't change by doing nothing.
Support/recovery groups like AA would be a great place for you to go and get the support you feel you can't or won't get from your friends and wife. Sounds like your family might also be a good place to go and get that support.
My advice to you is to give it a try. You can't change by doing nothing.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome RaulRittch -
Well, you've come to the right place! We've been there.... Some of us have lost everything, some have almost lost their lives, and other of us have gotten sober before the really bad stuff started happening. It's never too late or too early to quit.
You'll find lots of support here - this place really helped me turn my life around. It's possible to do this even if your spouse is still drinking - there are people here who are in the same situation and have gotten sober.
The scariest part is in the beginning, but it gets better. Take it one day at a time - you can do this.
Well, you've come to the right place! We've been there.... Some of us have lost everything, some have almost lost their lives, and other of us have gotten sober before the really bad stuff started happening. It's never too late or too early to quit.
You'll find lots of support here - this place really helped me turn my life around. It's possible to do this even if your spouse is still drinking - there are people here who are in the same situation and have gotten sober.
The scariest part is in the beginning, but it gets better. Take it one day at a time - you can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: El Paso TX
Posts: 7
Thanks! I really apreciate your advice. I have decided that i will either completely or slowly stop drinking. I think i have to man up and say no and keep that word. I'd like to go to AA meeting for my own good. I never thought of getting support from my family but that sounds like a good idea. Just by hearing that i feel better and i really hope i can make it and not relapse once again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: El Paso TX
Posts: 7
One more thing, no she has never pushed me to drink. I am the one who wants to do it since i see her drinking. I just cannot resist having a drink. But if i keep my word im sure i could do it. Its gonna be hard, but as you said its not imposible.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi Raul,
You can't go back and change what's happened, though most of would like to, but you can change what happens today. You're right that stopping drinking will be hard and will take a lot of motivation. Hopefully your wife will respect your choice, but know that you can do this.
You can't go back and change what's happened, though most of would like to, but you can change what happens today. You're right that stopping drinking will be hard and will take a lot of motivation. Hopefully your wife will respect your choice, but know that you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
It will be really hard to stop if your wife does not want to. It would be a good time to see a doctor about this problem. Get a blood test to make sure your okay in your body. Would be good to take your wife too. Living life that way is never good and life does not last too long if you don't let go the alcohol and drugs. It was really hard for myself to let go of alcohol but I needed to if I really wanted to be happy. We all believe you can change but without your wife changing too then relapse will be in your future.
Good luck and welcome to SR!!
Good luck and welcome to SR!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 85
Your depression will lift after you have stopped drinking for a little bit. There will still be problems to deal with, but alcohol makes everything 10 times harder. Why make things harder? You can do it -- you can make your life easier and happier. Just don't drink today.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Congratulations on your decision, Raul. Alcohol made my life miserable, yet I couldn't imagine living without it. I see now how insane that was. It's true, drinking & drugging make life harder, not easier - the way we once thought. In the end, it wasn't fun or relaxing - it was a living hell.
You have the right attitude - you see what using/drinking has done to your life. Some are never able to understand what they're doing to themselves & their families. We know you can do this - we're here to share your journey.
You have the right attitude - you see what using/drinking has done to your life. Some are never able to understand what they're doing to themselves & their families. We know you can do this - we're here to share your journey.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Raul
I agree with what everyone else is saying - it's hard to stop if you have a partner drinking, but it's not a dealbreaker.
Many of our members here deal with this - the support here helps, I think.
Focus on your recovery journey...let your wife work hers out. Maybe you'll be a good influence?
You can do this - there's lots of us here for support and advice.
Glad to have you with us
D
I agree with what everyone else is saying - it's hard to stop if you have a partner drinking, but it's not a dealbreaker.
Many of our members here deal with this - the support here helps, I think.
Focus on your recovery journey...let your wife work hers out. Maybe you'll be a good influence?
You can do this - there's lots of us here for support and advice.
Glad to have you with us
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
It is imposible to stop drinking due to the fact that my wife doesnt want to stop, and it makes it difficult for me since i see her drinking.
Not so! It's always possible to get and stay sober if you want it bad enough. It might be a bit harder but it's still possible. Don't give up. It is possible to live a sober life with a drinker. Do what's best for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
I have stayed sober for 5 months and my husband is a daily heavy drinker. I've also quit smoking, and he's a heavy smoker. Until a few months ago, I'd resigned myself to spending the rest of my days drinking and chain smoking with my hubby and we'd go down together. I then realized that I couldn't wait any longer to make life changes and it wasn't going to happen unless I chose it.
What I'm telling you is that is IS possible to do it. It can be harder, yes, but if you are truly done, you are done, and nothing around you will affect that. It won't be easy but it's worth it, I promise. There are tons of people on here to talk to about how to do this, and your doctor should be a lot of help, too.
I would suggest that it's time to shift your focus slightly from the joint drinking/drugging you have with your wife, and utilize your family who would like to be supportive and see you sober. It doesn't mean you love your wife any less, it's just you have to go where you know people are rooting for you. Hopefully she'll see what you are doing and decide to jump on board with you, but for now it will have to be YOU that starts the ball rolling. You can do it!!
Oh..and welcome to SR! Forgot that bit
What I'm telling you is that is IS possible to do it. It can be harder, yes, but if you are truly done, you are done, and nothing around you will affect that. It won't be easy but it's worth it, I promise. There are tons of people on here to talk to about how to do this, and your doctor should be a lot of help, too.
I would suggest that it's time to shift your focus slightly from the joint drinking/drugging you have with your wife, and utilize your family who would like to be supportive and see you sober. It doesn't mean you love your wife any less, it's just you have to go where you know people are rooting for you. Hopefully she'll see what you are doing and decide to jump on board with you, but for now it will have to be YOU that starts the ball rolling. You can do it!!
Oh..and welcome to SR! Forgot that bit
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 453
Hi Raul,
Thanks for sharing. I know what your talking about. It can be real tough staying sober these days. It certainly sometimes seems to be alot easier to just pop pills, drink and party then to go to a meeting and confront our issues and fears. To right the wrongs in our past. Staying sober is not always easy but neither is dealing with hangovers, shame from acting out, DUI's, Health issues, severe depression from the comedowns from "Ecstasy" etc. Honestly 3 years ago I would never have dreamed of being able to live a sober life and still have fun. I enjoy my life much more, feeling healthier, not hungover all the time and not guilty for the things I may have said or done in a black out.
I see from your profile that you are from El Paso Texas. I am not sure if you heard but there is going to be a amazing Young People's in AA meeting next month in Texas. Check it out. Also try to find some Young Peoples meetings near you. I guarantee if you go to a few meetings you will meet some people who can really offer some great support and guidance to a new sober life if you choose to put in the work
The best decision I have ever made to be honest with you.
TXSCYPAA Host
Northwest Texas Area 66 :: cities
Thanks for sharing. I know what your talking about. It can be real tough staying sober these days. It certainly sometimes seems to be alot easier to just pop pills, drink and party then to go to a meeting and confront our issues and fears. To right the wrongs in our past. Staying sober is not always easy but neither is dealing with hangovers, shame from acting out, DUI's, Health issues, severe depression from the comedowns from "Ecstasy" etc. Honestly 3 years ago I would never have dreamed of being able to live a sober life and still have fun. I enjoy my life much more, feeling healthier, not hungover all the time and not guilty for the things I may have said or done in a black out.
I see from your profile that you are from El Paso Texas. I am not sure if you heard but there is going to be a amazing Young People's in AA meeting next month in Texas. Check it out. Also try to find some Young Peoples meetings near you. I guarantee if you go to a few meetings you will meet some people who can really offer some great support and guidance to a new sober life if you choose to put in the work
The best decision I have ever made to be honest with you.
TXSCYPAA Host
Northwest Texas Area 66 :: cities
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