Missy7

Hi guys. I'm still around and still working on my recovery. I just don't want y'all to think I've gone off the deep end. I'm pretty healthy and have been doing well.

I have put AA on the back burner. I drove to the parking lot for my fifth (or so) meeting and got out of the car to walk toward the door. And I just panicked. I couldn't face the negative energy. Now I know there is lots of positive energy, but there is negative energy too. But I've held my own and continue to wake up happy. That's what matters to me.

So, anyway, I wish I had time to participate every day, but I just don't. Instead I will offer this advice if any newbier than myself read this. I'm just doing what makes me happy--when sober. What makes me available. What makes me feel good.

And that includes babysitting the grandkids most of the weekend. AND walking away from social events where I would get in trouble.

It gets easier every time.

bellakeller

Thanks for the update. I was just wondering how you were doing.

craven

And that's all any of us can do, Missy! Thanks for posting- so glad to hear that you are still doing well, and protecting your sobriety!

silly

Awesome to hear you're doing well, Missy7. I definitely understand where you're coming from on the AA front.
I've put AA on the back burner, too. Although I find it quite helpful, I also have a very difficult time dealing with the all or nothing mentality that's projected by sponsors, old-timers and others. I've been told at more than one meeting that I'm not coming enough and if I don't step up my attendance, I'll never stay sober. That's a very negative message to hear when I'm working my butt off at home, at work, with my family and with my recovery. It's like because I don't make "enough" meetings, I'm doomed to fail. My sponsor was always pushing meetings on me and didn't seem to understand that I could not push everything else in my life aside sometimes. It got to the point where I lied once or twice about going to a meeting. At that point, I ended our sponsor/sponsee relationship. Lying never got me anywhere, after all!

What I need to realize is that what I'm doing IS important, it IS helping me stay sober and I cannot allow others to bring me down. AA is great way to get and stay sober but it's not the only way. People here at SR prove that to me every single day.

Anna

Missy, I'm glad you checked in and that you're doing well!

newwings

Great to hear from you, Missy. I was wondering how you were and was missing you a bit! Had my fingers crossed everything was ok.

Keep strong.

New
x

sugarbear1

We carry the energy we have. More like what we judge in others is how we feel. That was the topic of my noon meeting. I apparently needed that reinforced today! I feel better knowing my hp is consistently sending messages over and over! Thank you! You'll feel better. Feelings change! I hit different meetings. No one ever told meI wasn't showing up enough! My experience.

Dee74

Glad you checked in Missy and glad to hear you're finding things a little easier

D

Ranger

Thanks for the update, MI7. Wonderfully done!

Nirvana1

It's great you checked in but have you stopped drinking yet?