Just some general ramblings...today is day 5
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
Just some general ramblings...today is day 5
morning all,
Well afternoon here. I could NOT get to sleep last night to save my life, it felt like there were bugs crawling on me, honest to god!! Could this be a mild case of DT's? I don't know, i only know I was slapping at myself and itching like crazy, and finally crashed on my living room couch with the ac going, where I was finally able to fall into a deep sleep.
Also yesterday, while waiting to give my order in the drive through for ice coffee, it looked like the bush near the order speaker was undulating, honest, I am not making this up! I chalked that up to the same, possible mild dt's as my mind feels pretty clear for the first time in quite a while.
I also attended a speaker's meeting yesterday morning and evening with my fellow AA'er, who is a neighbor I give rides to (he lost his license in Jan. on a DUI and lives one street over from me). It works out great for both of us, as we are helping each other and having some great talks along the way.
I did read a lot of the Big Book in bed before this "itching/bug" thing got too bad, and I also got on my knees and prayed to my HP (which in my case is God). I cried my eyes out and asked Him to forgive me, but also to told Him I put this in His hands, as I cannot possibly do it alone.
Even though I am doing all that I know I am supposed to do, some of it sometimes feels fake, like I am just going through the motions and not really "feeling it." So many have talked of the "pink cloud", conversion spiritually, when does this happen?
I am thinking to myself and this is sad, the very last time the sober me was extremely excited (besides my daughter's birth) about something, was being kissed by my first love. I want to feel that happiness, joy and excitement again, and am starting to wonder if I ever will be able to sober. And no I don't mean being kissed again (well in the distant future maybe, well after I have worked on me) but that innocent happiness and excitement I felt. It's so foreign to me and I wonder if I will ever feel it again.
Is any of this normal??
Well afternoon here. I could NOT get to sleep last night to save my life, it felt like there were bugs crawling on me, honest to god!! Could this be a mild case of DT's? I don't know, i only know I was slapping at myself and itching like crazy, and finally crashed on my living room couch with the ac going, where I was finally able to fall into a deep sleep.
Also yesterday, while waiting to give my order in the drive through for ice coffee, it looked like the bush near the order speaker was undulating, honest, I am not making this up! I chalked that up to the same, possible mild dt's as my mind feels pretty clear for the first time in quite a while.
I also attended a speaker's meeting yesterday morning and evening with my fellow AA'er, who is a neighbor I give rides to (he lost his license in Jan. on a DUI and lives one street over from me). It works out great for both of us, as we are helping each other and having some great talks along the way.
I did read a lot of the Big Book in bed before this "itching/bug" thing got too bad, and I also got on my knees and prayed to my HP (which in my case is God). I cried my eyes out and asked Him to forgive me, but also to told Him I put this in His hands, as I cannot possibly do it alone.
Even though I am doing all that I know I am supposed to do, some of it sometimes feels fake, like I am just going through the motions and not really "feeling it." So many have talked of the "pink cloud", conversion spiritually, when does this happen?
I am thinking to myself and this is sad, the very last time the sober me was extremely excited (besides my daughter's birth) about something, was being kissed by my first love. I want to feel that happiness, joy and excitement again, and am starting to wonder if I ever will be able to sober. And no I don't mean being kissed again (well in the distant future maybe, well after I have worked on me) but that innocent happiness and excitement I felt. It's so foreign to me and I wonder if I will ever feel it again.
Is any of this normal??
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Yes! I had the itchy/bug thing (had almost forgotten about that) and the sort of hallucinating thing. I was rather crazy the first week or so - but it all, every bit of it - went away with time. I wish I'd kept a diary, because most of that insanity is easily forgotten once we begin to heal. Yet I do want to always remember what I put myself through. Never again.
Overall, you sound very upbeat and positive - I'm so happy for you. Yes you will have those lovely, sober experiences again. Why did we think we needed to get numb to enjoy life? (As for the pink cloud, I did not experience that.
) Thanks for a great post.
Overall, you sound very upbeat and positive - I'm so happy for you. Yes you will have those lovely, sober experiences again. Why did we think we needed to get numb to enjoy life? (As for the pink cloud, I did not experience that.
) Thanks for a great post.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Man, for a few days I was seeing bugs, cats, people, hearing stuff--major visual and auditory hallucinations! I'm all better now, or am I? :-) Keep with it, it will normalize and even the craziness is worth the payoff. If you're still bothered you can check with your doctor.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posts: 76
Hi, and do not feel alone. I saw dancing spider-webs all over my walls and undulating draperies. I actually tried to wipe away the spider webs, but there were none. Scary thought, huh? Anyway, I never want to go back there, any detox could be fatal.
Everyone kept telling me these things will pass.....and they did. I am only 21 days clean and sober, but things are looking better each and every day. Keep going to meetings and keep posting.
Good luck
Everyone kept telling me these things will pass.....and they did. I am only 21 days clean and sober, but things are looking better each and every day. Keep going to meetings and keep posting.
Good luck
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Although it seems it's pretty common, anyone having any auditory visual or sensory hallucinations really would be best off seeing a Dr, I think - it may be common but that's not the same as normal.
Your call of course, Need.
I did not experience a pink cloud - I found my early days of recovery to be rather empty to be honest...but I trusted the people here who assured me it would get better...and it really did.
I wouldn't swap my life now for anything
D
Your call of course, Need.
I did not experience a pink cloud - I found my early days of recovery to be rather empty to be honest...but I trusted the people here who assured me it would get better...and it really did.
I wouldn't swap my life now for anything
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
I had the itchies too - it was only one night, but I couldn't for the life of me work out what was going on. I felt pretty jumpy with it - I'd just start dropping off and it would come back. Hideous sweats as well for a couple of nights.
Now I'm pleased to say, those things are but a distant memory.
You are doing GREAT!!
Now I'm pleased to say, those things are but a distant memory.
You are doing GREAT!!
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