Dee74

hi Scared1

it is scary to contemplate life sober...it can look like such a monumental thing...and in a way it is...but you need not do it alone

I really encourage you to look at the support that's out there - if SR is not enough for you there's many many other alternatives...


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I understand about wanting to spend time with your kids - but how with them are we when we're drunk?

They deserve a sober mom - and you deserve to be that mom and good person I know you want to be

Cast your support net as wide as you can - make the leap - it'll be ok

D

SweetCityWoman

For me a couple of things were important starting out (I am 1 yr. sober this week). In order to remain sober I realized that I had to do something different or nothing would change and I'd be sober for awhile and then back to drinking. So like Josh's post above, I made a plan. My initial plan was simply not drinking and going to AA. That was critical in the 1st few months (although I no longer go to meetings). Then I replaced old drinking routines with new routines and activities - something each day. So change things up, follow a plan (make it simple) that is routine and try new activities or get back to old things you enjoy - even if you have to force yourself at first - just do it.

Also, at first I couldn't imagine never drinking again so I didn't. I stopped totally but put moderation plans on hold. Then after I realized I could do this for a few months I decided to give myself 1 yr. sober before considering moderation. But now at 1 year I am wiser than to think I can drink again and I realize life can be good without booze - but ofcourse you won't get this until you get some sober time. This fits with what Reset said above.

I don't find that focus on shame and guilt is perticularly helpful - instead it brings on more shame and guilt, self hate, and possibly depression and anxiety which might be triggers to just giving-up once again and drinking. If you do go to an AA meeting ask around for someone who you share things in common with to be your sponsor - just tell people what type of person you think you could talk to. Sounds like this might help you get past a week or 2 sober. Having someone there for you who you can identify with could make the difference - try it. Don't worry about your relationship with AA - it helps some and some do it without AA. But it could offer you something that might work for you - having a sponsor just for you to reach out to instead of reaching for that drink on day 6 or 7.

bellakeller

I did exactly what Paper Dolls did. I am a mama too. Now I've been sober 2 years.

aasharon90

21 yrs ago as of 8-11-90 family did an intervention
on me sending me to rehab via the back of a police
car. I spent 28 days in rehab and 6 week outpatiant
aftercare program recieving the tools and knowledge
of my alcoholism before setting me on the path of
recovery sharing my own experiences, strengths and
hopes of what it was like before during and after my
drinking to those who still suffer with addiction.

bellakeller

One thing I had to accept was that I had to put recovery first. Before my kids, family, work, husband, etc.. Before everything. It was not an easy thing to put first, believe me. I have to work every day to keep sobriety first. But without it, I would have none of the rest. My kids would have a vacant, if not dead mother, my husband, not much of a wife, and so on. I know it probably seems selfish and counter intuitive but any alternative to sobriety at this point is even more selfish. So it comes first.

Stick close.

Much love.

Reset

Yeah that's true. It's a short-term sacrifice for a long-term gain.

scared1

Thank you everyone for your responses.
I feel so much better today, sober and not hungover. This is how I want to wake up everyday. This is my goal. To wake up sober and remember everything I said and did the night before.
I drink because I am sad and lonely and depressed but I think maybe that is just an excuse. Everybody has problems, everybody goes through hard times and not everybody drinks themselves silly to forget. I need to face reality and learn to enjoy life, the good positive things in my life such as my children and my new house and our time together.

Dee74

I know you know there are better ways to deal with being lonely sad and depressed scared1 - drinking never solves any of that - it just puts off our dealing with it I think.

D

CarolD

Glad to see you again and to know you are beginning fresh...:hug

depression is why I decided to quit drinking.
When I began working the AA Steps I went from shakey sobriety to solid recovery....

Blessings to you and your children

michelle01

I was in the same cycle as you as long as I kept trying to go it alone. It's not about how 'strong' you are. It's not all about willpower. I had to get some insight and feedback from others to correct my own thinking, which couldn't be trusted when I was newly sober. As for feeling guilty about going to AA instead of being with family, you can in truth be there far more for them, for a lot longer, sober. Getting the help you need is not being selfish.