effortjoy

Are there any people on this forum who quit before hitting rock bottom? I have managed to cut my drinking down to once a week but I would really like to stop completely. Mostly I want to stop bx it bothers my husband. I was on this forum a couple of years ago and quit for a year. But I can't find any other way to escape/ relax like a good drink or two or three. Usually three. I never went to AA. I didn't like my life any better when i didn't drink for a year. What motivates a person to stop when it still feels like drinking is a harmless pleasure?

ulverston

hi effort.
i find its' not the amount or frequency i drank,but what the consequences were while i drank.
if you mess relationships up or do silly things i.e drink driving or fighting.
then alcohol is causing problems in your life.
you dont have to hit bottom before quitting...plus there is always a deeper bottom than the previous one that you hit until the ultimate one??
if drinking causes no problems in your life /why are you here?
you stated that it bothers your husband...so there must be something you are doing while under the influence that is bothersome.
if you are an alcoholic...and only you can decide if you are or not/then quitting now when you still have everything in life worth living for is a great idea ...alcohol will strip you of everything good in life if you dont address it it/only you can know what your situation is..
i commend you for having the insight to recognize how destructive this disease is.and to get some help before your world starts to unravel..
so to answer your question in a rather long winded way ...no you don't have to hit bottom if you are smart..
i hit several bottoms and each one was worse than the previous...
as it says in the big book some of us persued it to the gates of insanity or death.
alcohol is that powerful.
hope this helps a little??

effortjoy

That was really helpful but part of my problem is that my husband hates it when anyone drinks so it seems like he is just extreme, doesn't want to let me relax etc. But a part of me knows that I don't drink like a normal person. For example, I would turn down just a glass of wine bx what's the point if I can't drink the whole bottle? But in terms of the problems it is causing in my marriage I keep thinking: maybe it's his problem that he's so intolerant? My life is so stressful. Don't I deserve one night a week to let go? But sometimes I think that this is the drink talking and not really me. I am so confused, don't know if I should stop or why

SSIL75

How much are you drinking? You say 3 drinks but then you say a bottle. Is it every day or once a week? It's not clear from your post if it's an alcohol problem or a marriage problem

Dee74

Hi again effortjoy

I don't know that quitting for someone else works - especially if you feel resentful about that.

No matter when you quit - early or late - if you're not quitting for you, and you're not convinced totally that you have a problem, it's going to be very hard for you to quit.

I'm sorry to hear the year off didn't convince you.

Did you do anything else but not drink - make any changes?
or was it more of a deprivation for you?

There are other ways to relax besides alcohol - we both know that - but you're not going to be too inspired to go looking for them if it's not your idea to give up alcohol in the first place...

I'll followed your story for a few years now...and I know you've been struggling with this for a while now...

Usually the alcoholic progression is a negative one.

I'll be honest and say again - like I said last time - I think there probably is more going on here than just your husband's attitude.

I think it's in your best interests to really engage with this sooner rather than later.

If AA, for whatever reason, is out of the question, would you consider counselling?
Maybe it will help you get to the bottom of your relationship with alcohol once and for all?

I wish you well with it
D

ulverston

i think alcohol itself will be the great decider..
if you can't have just one or two and leave it at that without wanting the whole bottle .then alcohol is starting to become a problem..
if you have to control something then it is out of control???.
women are prone to go down very much faster than men in regards of alcoholism/it's a fact.
maybe you should talk to a professional person as regards to your situation?
i think we or most of us started off with a night or couple to relieve stress or to reward ourselves,,
but it is a progressive disease that leads to every day all day.
and when it hits that point it is terrible beyond belief.
please don't go that route.
there are other ways to relieve stress...exercise for me is number one.
if you are in the early stages of alcoholism.recognize it and be very very thankful you caught it before it destroys your life..
it is very real and the pain it causes not only to ourselves but our loved ones is immense.
do some research online and find out if this is a serious problem in your life and if it is address it now.
good luck