What we should be afraid of
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
What we should be afraid of
We have just buried my sister. A sobering experience.
I posted in the April thread but I feel it might be worth being repeated that many of us fear killing ourselves or someone else in our car, overdosing and dieing in dramatic fashion. The truth is that we are killing ourselves steadily and slowly every time we drink.
This sister (my fourth sister) smoked and drank. She had been chronically sick about a year. My second sister, AA for twenty-five years, came to her rescue. This sister is very successful. First she paid all her little sister's bills and bought her nicotine patches as well as all her other prescriptions. When the little sister lost her house anyway, then her son, the AA sister brought her home but made her attend AA meetings with her and tried to get her to stop smoking. The little sister left this haven and went somewhere she could continue her behavior--not shooting heroin or anything--just not taking care of herself.
We see these people all the time. Every bar is full of them. People who drink instead of going for a walk. People who don't feel good enough to exercise in the morning.
It's not the acute damage we should worry about--it's the long-term damage. I mean, a hangover is easy to recover from. How about liver cancer? Heart disease?
I guess we are all on a journey and every step we take counts.
I will do better than my sister--we buried her with my parents. All three of them substance abusers. All three died ridiculously young for this century (60, 55, 49).
I'm happy to be on SR today. I'm happy that I feel like walking outside the door.
I posted in the April thread but I feel it might be worth being repeated that many of us fear killing ourselves or someone else in our car, overdosing and dieing in dramatic fashion. The truth is that we are killing ourselves steadily and slowly every time we drink.
This sister (my fourth sister) smoked and drank. She had been chronically sick about a year. My second sister, AA for twenty-five years, came to her rescue. This sister is very successful. First she paid all her little sister's bills and bought her nicotine patches as well as all her other prescriptions. When the little sister lost her house anyway, then her son, the AA sister brought her home but made her attend AA meetings with her and tried to get her to stop smoking. The little sister left this haven and went somewhere she could continue her behavior--not shooting heroin or anything--just not taking care of herself.
We see these people all the time. Every bar is full of them. People who drink instead of going for a walk. People who don't feel good enough to exercise in the morning.
It's not the acute damage we should worry about--it's the long-term damage. I mean, a hangover is easy to recover from. How about liver cancer? Heart disease?
I guess we are all on a journey and every step we take counts.
I will do better than my sister--we buried her with my parents. All three of them substance abusers. All three died ridiculously young for this century (60, 55, 49).
I'm happy to be on SR today. I'm happy that I feel like walking outside the door.
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Missy, I have been thinking of you a lot recently..I had noticed you hadn't been on here for a while. So sorry to hear of the circumstances of your absence.
I am so very sorry to hear your sad news today. To lose a sister is a most painful experience..I know. To lose a sister from the very thing you are battling yourself is very, very hard. I hope you are keeping yourself well during this awful time.
Big hugs.
x
I am so very sorry to hear your sad news today. To lose a sister is a most painful experience..I know. To lose a sister from the very thing you are battling yourself is very, very hard. I hope you are keeping yourself well during this awful time.
Big hugs.
x
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Thank you NW. I'm in pretty good shape today. I can intellectualize my sister's death and put it in perspective. I couldn't do that until now.
I only wrote this morning because I wanted to remind the list, especially those struggling with the decision, what is really at stake. It's not about a possible DUI or stupid accident. It's the daily destruction of the serious but safe drinker that I'm thinking about.
I'm very proud of you NW and glad you are still there with your wings of promise.
I only wrote this morning because I wanted to remind the list, especially those struggling with the decision, what is really at stake. It's not about a possible DUI or stupid accident. It's the daily destruction of the serious but safe drinker that I'm thinking about.
I'm very proud of you NW and glad you are still there with your wings of promise.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Missy7 
We have just buried my sister. A sobering experience.
I posted in the April thread but I feel it might be worth being repeated that many of us fear killing ourselves or someone else in our car, overdosing and dieing in dramatic fashion. The truth is that we are killing ourselves steadily and slowly every time we drink.
This sister (my fourth sister) smoked and drank. She had been chronically sick about a year. My second sister, AA for twenty-five years, came to her rescue. This sister is very successful. First she paid all her little sister's bills and bought her nicotine patches as well as all her other prescriptions. When the little sister lost her house anyway, then her son, the AA sister brought her home but made her attend AA meetings with her and tried to get her to stop smoking. The little sister left this haven and went somewhere she could continue her behavior--not shooting heroin or anything--just not taking care of herself.
We see these people all the time. Every bar is full of them. People who drink instead of going for a walk. People who don't feel good enough to exercise in the morning.
It's not the acute damage we should worry about--it's the long-term damage. I mean, a hangover is easy to recover from. How about liver cancer? Heart disease?
I guess we are all on a journey and every step we take counts.
I will do better than my sister--we buried her with my parents. All three of them substance abusers. All three died ridiculously young for this century (60, 55, 49).
I'm happy to be on SR today. I'm happy that I feel like walking outside the door.
I posted in the April thread but I feel it might be worth being repeated that many of us fear killing ourselves or someone else in our car, overdosing and dieing in dramatic fashion. The truth is that we are killing ourselves steadily and slowly every time we drink.
This sister (my fourth sister) smoked and drank. She had been chronically sick about a year. My second sister, AA for twenty-five years, came to her rescue. This sister is very successful. First she paid all her little sister's bills and bought her nicotine patches as well as all her other prescriptions. When the little sister lost her house anyway, then her son, the AA sister brought her home but made her attend AA meetings with her and tried to get her to stop smoking. The little sister left this haven and went somewhere she could continue her behavior--not shooting heroin or anything--just not taking care of herself.
We see these people all the time. Every bar is full of them. People who drink instead of going for a walk. People who don't feel good enough to exercise in the morning.
It's not the acute damage we should worry about--it's the long-term damage. I mean, a hangover is easy to recover from. How about liver cancer? Heart disease?
I guess we are all on a journey and every step we take counts.
I will do better than my sister--we buried her with my parents. All three of them substance abusers. All three died ridiculously young for this century (60, 55, 49).
I'm happy to be on SR today. I'm happy that I feel like walking outside the door.
"wow"
Thank you for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
It is the core of the whole deal isn't it. I like everyone else have lost both friends and family to addiction. And sadly..some that are still living are not alive. They are in their self imposed zombie state slowly working towards death. I think about them alot. I see my old self in them.
I am sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss.
.....Prayers for your peace
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Hi Missy
My thoughts are with you. Someone posted on another thread (I think it was a quote from a movie) it's not a way of living, it's a way of dying. To put in terms of your thread is the journey we are on is made of many small steps. Each step does count for something.
I have been wondering what is it that really makes the difference between those that have equanimity and those that still struggle? I think total surrender is important.
Take care.
My thoughts are with you. Someone posted on another thread (I think it was a quote from a movie) it's not a way of living, it's a way of dying. To put in terms of your thread is the journey we are on is made of many small steps. Each step does count for something.
I have been wondering what is it that really makes the difference between those that have equanimity and those that still struggle? I think total surrender is important.
Take care.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I totally agree with you and had that realization shortly before I quit drinking.
I would wake in the middle of the night worrying about CPS taking my children or liver failure or divorce. And then the next day I'd convince myself I was overreacting.
Then I realized all those 'worst case' things weren't really all that likely. But being a fat, boring, self-obsessed soccer mom guzzling box wine and neglecting her children? That was in process. That was the fight.
I would wake in the middle of the night worrying about CPS taking my children or liver failure or divorce. And then the next day I'd convince myself I was overreacting.
Then I realized all those 'worst case' things weren't really all that likely. But being a fat, boring, self-obsessed soccer mom guzzling box wine and neglecting her children? That was in process. That was the fight.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: dayton, oh
Posts: 487
I'm so sorry Missy. We are the lucky ones that realize alcoholism will kill us and have chosen to live. I have a family member dying in ICU, my family struggles to understand why this is happening to him at such a young age, but he, his doctors and I know he never stopped drinking and abusing drugs.
I'm so happy you are with us on SR and in recovery.
SH
I'm so happy you are with us on SR and in recovery.
SH
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Hope, PA
Posts: 114
Hi Missy,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your story is really an eye opener as to what the drinking does to our lives. I am happy to hear of your other sister's success with her sobriety and her life. I'm also happy to hear that you are doing well. Hugs
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your story is really an eye opener as to what the drinking does to our lives. I am happy to hear of your other sister's success with her sobriety and her life. I'm also happy to hear that you are doing well. Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Tis a slow and painful death and it's people like you that are willing to share your personal experience that help so many of us! Who knew that when some of us took that first, usually fun, drink that it would be the beginning of a slow death. 
. For some people it is and for others - many of us - we see the fork in the road and go the life way. I'm sorry about your sister. I hope your older sister is at peace with the fact that she did all she could. Thank you again for sharing. 
. For some people it is and for others - many of us - we see the fork in the road and go the life way. I'm sorry about your sister. I hope your older sister is at peace with the fact that she did all she could. Thank you again for sharing. 
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