40creek

I can't describe how I feel. My fingers work again. I'm still miserable. My wife and I talked and I found out lots. She is actually scared of me getting sober. She is insecure about her wieght. Five foot even and 255 lbs. I'm 6 foot 3 and 225 lbs. When we married she was only 120 lbs. I tell you this knowing you don't know me or her. Alas, the blessings of anonymity. Anyway, she is afraid that if I get my act together I will go girl shopping so to speak. As I am I guess I am the kind of guy only a mother (and my wife) could love.
I asured her that I will always love her and besides, I'm still not a great catch at 44 yrs and socially inept. Anyway, I think she is now on board with my sobriety goal, thank God. Having a wife who did not seem to support this seemed both absurbed and was also the biggest obstacle. I can't do this without her. If we are fighting I have to leave------where do I go? I think this will get easier to do now.
P.S. To the person who showed me how neurotic I was by pasting several of my posts together with time lines high lighted. I want to thank you. This was in my thread called "And a temper too", or something to that affect. I never realized I was so emotionally spazzed.
..............Thanks everyone for the support.

Dee74

I'm glad to hear you're sticking with it, 40Creek

D

ForwardMotion

Awesome news about the talk with your wife. I had a similar talk with my husband yesterday....as he was a little irked with my irritability and told me that I needed to "have a beer or a blunt to calm down".....needless to say that didn't help my mood! lol So we sat down and had a talk about the seriousness of this issue. It's literally life or death with us here....so for anyone to suggest that I "have a beer" is almost like telling me to play Russian Roulette with my life. I think he understands now, and it sounds like your wife does too.

Keep up the good work!

gibson3479

I can relate to your wifes insecurities...Ive gained around 40 pounds in the past 3 years thanks to beer and I am now so very insecure.My husband is EXTREMELY attractive and I worry even though he gives me NO reason to.I dont honestly worry he will cheat t but I worry someone better will come along...just because Ive put him through alot drinking and now to top it I dont feel even half as pretty as I was....I even secretly feel threatened any time he gets a haircut or looks hot when we go to dinner or ANYTHING... .....Now Im getting sober and determined to get back in shape ...for ME more so than him.My husband is all for working out and hiking with me so I can do this.Maybe as part of your recovery you 2 can take up a physical hobby to help her with her weight as well.?? Im going to be completely blunt when I say this (and Ive talked about and heard this from ither friends as well) but since I gained weight (and I was never skinny before but I was very shapely and tone5'5' and 145 lbs) and my curves turned to gross,anytime my husband doesnt initiate sex or tell me how hot I am like he use to nonstop,I get really insecure and start an arguement...Ive accused him in my little insecured fits of cheating (even though he literally is at work or home and in contact with me all throughout the day),I accuse him of not loving me as much...you name it.....I was never an insecure person and now I am very much so....to the point where I know my husband has been fed up with hearing it.So,along with giving up the booze Im pulling myself back in shape.He has gained 30lbs since marriage (5 yrs ago)as well and I still look at him the same..as Im sure he does me for the most part...as you probably do your wife...join her or initiate working out and eating better.Weve just this week decided to start an ALL healthy diet and we came up with alot of creative low calorie recipes to try...I bought groceries Thursday and Thursday and Friday (tonight) we put the recipes to work in the kitchen...not only did we end up bonding all over again and having quality time,we had fun and ate 1/3 of the calories we normally would consume..Just a thought...Imgonna post something we communicated to each other via facebook while he was at work yesterday :
Me:
You are the best person Ive ever known...well, to me. Im so thankful that I have you.I love that you are my best friend as well as my love. Even during petty arguments,I still look foward to each day with you.You know,love ,appreciate and even sometimes "tolerate" me in a way noone else ever could.Im so sorry Ive put you through this .Everything is "changing"and I am looking foward to doing so with YOU.
Thursday at 2:47pm · Like · · See Friendship

him:Well I think i have proved I'm not going anywhere! No matter what you've thrown my way I have been unwaivering in my desire for you and US! (and you've thrown alot :-P) YRMFP
Thursday at 5:41pm · Unlike ·

Zencat

Good that you have your wife being supportive in your new healthier lifestyle. I know for me, that once I choose to leave the drinking/drugging behind, I started to look at other healthy changes I could make in my life. keep up the good progress.

ttbp

Great that you have the support. Well done x

MycoolFitz

I hope it all works out for you all and your relationships--they're so important. Its ironic that one of the reasons my wife left me was my sobriety at the time--she decided I wasn't any fun. Of course, I showed her--got drunk after that and stayed that way for some time. I was a beer barrel of laughs then.

Opivotal

Congratulations 40creek! You've made it through the first week. I'm so happy you and your wife are now of the same mindset. I'm sure having her support is a big plus. Keep up the good work.


Best Wishes To You!

Edwardm

Keep up the good work you're doing great.

40creek

Thank you all. I am proud of myself -- er -- exept for the poundsssss of alternatives I have been consuming at an unbelievable rate. I've even aquired an affinity for starbucks coffee mocca drinks. Booze was cheep by comparison LOL.

ForwardMotion

Good for you 40! It is something to be proud of, keep up the awesome work.

blackstrat6

It's not the booze that's expensive, it's the dumb stuff we do while drinking! At least for me..