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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 10
New here
I joined these forums about six years or so ago to help get through my divorce from my alcoholic ex-husband (I dont know all the lingo yet). He & I have since divorced completely & I'm engaged to my husband to be, due to wed on sept. 10th of this year. I have 1 child from my previous marriage & now have a baby with this man. I love him dearly & look forward to marrying him.
I'm writing today bc I have recently come to terms with my drinking, and have realized I need to make changes in my lifestyle. I drink wine every night, anywhere from 3 to 6 glasses. It's not uncommon for me to drink an entire bottle on my own. Aside from the health problems my excessive drinking has caused, my drinking has affected my personal relationships & my pride in myself. Drinking too much has now led me down a road with drugs that I am terrified of.
I have always been a drinker but I never relied on it like I do now. My fiancé is also a heavy drinker and we are bad drunks together - we are, however, very happy when we are not drinking. I never did the drug I do now until I became involved with this man - and he has told me he never drank as much or partied as often before he met me.
The long & short of it is that I'm coming here for some support & advice & to try & find my way to sobriety, so I can be the wife & mother I know I can be.
Thanks for reading.
I'm writing today bc I have recently come to terms with my drinking, and have realized I need to make changes in my lifestyle. I drink wine every night, anywhere from 3 to 6 glasses. It's not uncommon for me to drink an entire bottle on my own. Aside from the health problems my excessive drinking has caused, my drinking has affected my personal relationships & my pride in myself. Drinking too much has now led me down a road with drugs that I am terrified of.
I have always been a drinker but I never relied on it like I do now. My fiancé is also a heavy drinker and we are bad drunks together - we are, however, very happy when we are not drinking. I never did the drug I do now until I became involved with this man - and he has told me he never drank as much or partied as often before he met me.
The long & short of it is that I'm coming here for some support & advice & to try & find my way to sobriety, so I can be the wife & mother I know I can be.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Hello Trotter75,
I just recently came to terms with my drinking as well. My boyfriend and I can definitely drink like the rest of 'em, but for some reason he can stop and he doesn't have to have a drink for a month, he just doesn't care...but for some reason I feel like I NEED to have one all the time or I will lose my mind. Very strange. I know.
It's going to be quite the journey, and one that both you and your fiancee need to embark on together and to lean on one another for support.
I think you should read up on alcoholism as much as you can, to get some more knowledge...think of all the pros and cons of drinking and i am sure the cons will far outweigh the pros. You also have to be 100% dedicated to quit drinking.
Easier said than done, I know.
But you came to the right place here at SR and there are so many super supportive people on here...just take it one day at a time...just one at a time.
And I am sure, regardless, that you are an amazing woman, wife and mother.
I just recently came to terms with my drinking as well. My boyfriend and I can definitely drink like the rest of 'em, but for some reason he can stop and he doesn't have to have a drink for a month, he just doesn't care...but for some reason I feel like I NEED to have one all the time or I will lose my mind. Very strange. I know.
It's going to be quite the journey, and one that both you and your fiancee need to embark on together and to lean on one another for support.
I think you should read up on alcoholism as much as you can, to get some more knowledge...think of all the pros and cons of drinking and i am sure the cons will far outweigh the pros. You also have to be 100% dedicated to quit drinking.
Easier said than done, I know.
But you came to the right place here at SR and there are so many super supportive people on here...just take it one day at a time...just one at a time.
And I am sure, regardless, that you are an amazing woman, wife and mother.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I wasn't here last time you were, so welcome Trotter
Having been in one or two myself, I think the kind of relationship where two people drink/drug destructively together needs some pretty serious thought.
I know you'll find a lot of good advice and support here
D
D
Having been in one or two myself, I think the kind of relationship where two people drink/drug destructively together needs some pretty serious thought.
I know you'll find a lot of good advice and support here
D
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Trotter - I can relate, as I often had a bottle of wine to myself too. It got bad when it became my nightly ritual and every morning was miserable. Everything improved when I got sober, emotionally/mentally/physically. I'm glad you're wanting to stop too.
I wish I had some great advice for addressing the issue with your fiance. I just haven't been in that situation. A lot depends on whether you're willing to go it alone if you have to, the nature of the relationship, and whether he has a problem, too. There are others here who have dealt with similar things - so hang around and make yourself at home.
I wish I had some great advice for addressing the issue with your fiance. I just haven't been in that situation. A lot depends on whether you're willing to go it alone if you have to, the nature of the relationship, and whether he has a problem, too. There are others here who have dealt with similar things - so hang around and make yourself at home.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 720
Ready for Life - No, I did not go to rehab. I don't know what the heck happened in my mind. But, in my first post in June, I just got tired of waking up with the taste of whisky in my mouth, and taking straight pulls off the bottle without my husband even knowing. When he'd get home, I'd switch to beer. I'd stop at liquor stores, and crack the bottle before I got home. When buying groceries, I'd grab a six-pack of cold beer and enjoy them on the way home. I'd make sure I put any remaining ones in the fridge before my hubby saw. I'd hide empty bottles in the garbage so he didn't realize how much I was really drinking. I didn't like being angry for no reason, when I'm truly a positive person. I was tired of relying on something to make me into the person I thought I wanted to be intead of just being who I am. I take care of myself, but in that area I did not - I told myself if I don't make a change, some day the doctor will tell me I HAVE TO. So, I figured, do this now. So many people here have struggled so much more than me, and I keep saying if they can do it, I can, too. Their words of encouragement and stories are amazing. This disease affects the strong, the weak, the happy, the sad. It is not prejudice.
It helps to have a husband that was a big beer drinker and has joined me on my journey. He is at 21 days as well. Every one needs support in some way. If it's rehab, support groups, family, friends. This is not an easy journey. I still have urges, but as every one says here, you have to think how much regret you will feel the next day, and how good you are feeling now. The headaches I had the first 2-3 weeks were driving me batty - but, it made me think of all the times I gave myself those headaches out of my own selfish self-destruct mode. I didn't have the shakes or anything like that. I was not drinking to the point of blackouts, so I didn't have to suffer that. But, I did feel the headaches quite a bit.
Right now moderation is out of the question for me. One turns to two turns to five turns to ten. So, it's been lots of tea, lots of crystal light, and lots of water. I saw your post how you are thinking about cutting back. But, try your best to just not drink at all. Trust me when I say, you'll be amazed at how you feel. Having one or two is too much of a tease and too temping to keep going. I kept telling myself ahhhh...I'll have just one....six or seven beers later after a few shots of whisky...and back in that same boat.
Any way....find what support you need and if it works, that's the key. This forum has been wonderful for me, and they are becoming my extended family.
Keep reading, keep posting, and don't give it up. Don't be afraid to be honest, and remember, do this for your health, and most of all for your kids. If you can taper down, and keep it to social drinking, that is great.
Be well!
It helps to have a husband that was a big beer drinker and has joined me on my journey. He is at 21 days as well. Every one needs support in some way. If it's rehab, support groups, family, friends. This is not an easy journey. I still have urges, but as every one says here, you have to think how much regret you will feel the next day, and how good you are feeling now. The headaches I had the first 2-3 weeks were driving me batty - but, it made me think of all the times I gave myself those headaches out of my own selfish self-destruct mode. I didn't have the shakes or anything like that. I was not drinking to the point of blackouts, so I didn't have to suffer that. But, I did feel the headaches quite a bit.
Right now moderation is out of the question for me. One turns to two turns to five turns to ten. So, it's been lots of tea, lots of crystal light, and lots of water. I saw your post how you are thinking about cutting back. But, try your best to just not drink at all. Trust me when I say, you'll be amazed at how you feel. Having one or two is too much of a tease and too temping to keep going. I kept telling myself ahhhh...I'll have just one....six or seven beers later after a few shots of whisky...and back in that same boat.
Any way....find what support you need and if it works, that's the key. This forum has been wonderful for me, and they are becoming my extended family.
Keep reading, keep posting, and don't give it up. Don't be afraid to be honest, and remember, do this for your health, and most of all for your kids. If you can taper down, and keep it to social drinking, that is great.
Be well!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 11
Buelah - thank you so much for your wonderful, open, and honest reply. I am not sure I will drink again even socially, if I am successful. That is how it started for me then I got to drinking everyday. I have met a wonderful man who doesn't drink at all so along with my kids, he is an incentive. Surprisinly the amount I drink hasn't changed and I haven't ever felt like drinking something stronger but the times of day I drink changed. When I first started drinking everyday I had a full time job and wouldn't start drinking until later in the evening when I got home and got done running my kids to sporting events so I would have those beers pretty quickly. Well in Dec I lost my job and had all day however I didn't have a beer until I started cooking dinner. I was able to find a job in March thank goodness but I only work until 1:30 in the afternoon so my brain has started wanting a beer around 2:30. Here is what is weird to me being that I have my first beer earlier I would have thought that I would drink more but thats not the case. Now the amount is just spread out over many more hours. Since I am down to 8 I am going to continue the taper for a few more days and see how it goes. I am hoping for minimized withdrawal although I am not sure how extreme it will be anyway but since I have to keep working I will try my best this way.
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