Benzo addiction, withdrawals, and "recovery".
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 3
Benzo addiction, withdrawals, and "recovery".
I started up with xanax and klonopin a bit over a year ago. Got to be a near everyday habit, some days big doses, some days small doses. I was also occasionally using adderall, and drinking. (just to clear up confusion, I never mixed any pills with alcohol)
Also smoking weed everyday.
My real problem is the damn benzos though. The use of them came back to bite me about 2 months ago. I found out I was truly physically addicted after multiple seizures and other horrible issues. At first I thought I blew up something in my brain.
I was so stupid I didn't realize that benzos where "curing" me of the seizures and other unbelievably horrible psychological crap because I was physically addicted to them.
I went in and out of hospitals, and literally there where no detox centers that would accept me because of my age and the huge liability that comes with that. I was told this by 2 social workers who looked for hours.
Basically my taper plan has been, go as long as you can, usually 3-4 days, and before you think it gets dangerous take a small dose of xanax. Im proud to say I never took anywhere near a recreational dose once I realized the true problem.
Believe me, Ive been wanting to go to a detox center really ******* bad, it doesn't matter though, they wont accept me because of my age. I had one psychiatrist tell me to illegally taper off the xanax because no doctor is going to deal with this.
Ive been about 2 months into this unprofessional withdrawal process and Ive reached a problem. My main source for xanax has been completely cut off, and my klonopin source is out for a relatively long time. Its been 6 days now without any kind of benzo. I could sit here and tell you how horrible it feels and go into detail about my symptoms, but I won't, Ill leave it at this, I feel extremely horrible and very un-safe. Constantly thinking whether or not I should go back to the ER in that ****** hospital.
Its not all bad news though, things are going WAY better then this time last month, but there still pretty bad, and I feel like there about to get even worse.
Honestly, just telling a internet audience or anybody my problems makes me feel better. Even when it just goes into the archives maybe it will help someone out in the future when there researching this subject.
Also smoking weed everyday.
My real problem is the damn benzos though. The use of them came back to bite me about 2 months ago. I found out I was truly physically addicted after multiple seizures and other horrible issues. At first I thought I blew up something in my brain.
I was so stupid I didn't realize that benzos where "curing" me of the seizures and other unbelievably horrible psychological crap because I was physically addicted to them.
I went in and out of hospitals, and literally there where no detox centers that would accept me because of my age and the huge liability that comes with that. I was told this by 2 social workers who looked for hours.
Basically my taper plan has been, go as long as you can, usually 3-4 days, and before you think it gets dangerous take a small dose of xanax. Im proud to say I never took anywhere near a recreational dose once I realized the true problem.
Believe me, Ive been wanting to go to a detox center really ******* bad, it doesn't matter though, they wont accept me because of my age. I had one psychiatrist tell me to illegally taper off the xanax because no doctor is going to deal with this.
Ive been about 2 months into this unprofessional withdrawal process and Ive reached a problem. My main source for xanax has been completely cut off, and my klonopin source is out for a relatively long time. Its been 6 days now without any kind of benzo. I could sit here and tell you how horrible it feels and go into detail about my symptoms, but I won't, Ill leave it at this, I feel extremely horrible and very un-safe. Constantly thinking whether or not I should go back to the ER in that ****** hospital.
Its not all bad news though, things are going WAY better then this time last month, but there still pretty bad, and I feel like there about to get even worse.
Honestly, just telling a internet audience or anybody my problems makes me feel better. Even when it just goes into the archives maybe it will help someone out in the future when there researching this subject.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome 500
I've never used benzos but mostly everyone here I know who has recommends getting professional medical advice on withdrawal.
I've never heard of detox centres having an upper age limit, or of psychiatrists discouraging people from finding the appropriate medical help.
We also have a substance abuse forum you may also be interested in reading at looking at
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR!
D
I've never used benzos but mostly everyone here I know who has recommends getting professional medical advice on withdrawal.
I've never heard of detox centres having an upper age limit, or of psychiatrists discouraging people from finding the appropriate medical help.
We also have a substance abuse forum you may also be interested in reading at looking at
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR!
D
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 267
I quit taking xanax (1-2mg a day for 17 years) on May 5 and its been an absolute hell ride ever since. I also had alcohol and opiate issues.
Don't do what I did. Ask a doctor or medical professional for help. That is all.
Don't do what I did. Ask a doctor or medical professional for help. That is all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 3
Thanks for the welcome and quick replies.
Ive been in and out of hospitals. and while they never said anything in the exact way I portrayed it, I really did have 2 social workers basically tell me they couldn't find a detox center mainly because of my age.
Ive had alot of medical attention in the past 2 months, alot of emergency room visits, and I honestly cant find one medical professional who is truly understanding of this or could successfully refer me to someone who is.
Trust me, ive been asking for help.
Ive been in and out of hospitals. and while they never said anything in the exact way I portrayed it, I really did have 2 social workers basically tell me they couldn't find a detox center mainly because of my age.
Ive had alot of medical attention in the past 2 months, alot of emergency room visits, and I honestly cant find one medical professional who is truly understanding of this or could successfully refer me to someone who is.
Trust me, ive been asking for help.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 267
Well maybe the answer isn't in a detox center but there HAS to be a doctor willing to help. My father (63 years old) and my late grandmother (was 88 at the time) both were weaned off of benzos under medical supervision.
Just don't try it without medical supervision.
Just don't try it without medical supervision.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Get medical help ASAP. Go to the ER. Don't mess with benzo withdrawal on your own. And be dead honest with the ER folks about your past usage of all substances and your determination to get clean.
I detoxed from a prescribed 20 milligrams of Klonopin nine months ago, abruptly, with no taper, and nearly died. Seizures, psychosis...ended up in the hospital for 10 days, seven of which I sort of remember.
Get medical help. Withdrawal from just one or two milligrams of Xanax can be horrible. Don't put yourself through it. And abrupt withdrawal stands the chance of creating protracted withdrawal.
Please, screw the cost, screw whether you can get into a detox...Got he ER and tell them you need to find a doctor experienced in benzo withdrawal who can help you. At least you need to be monitored. You can have seizures. You should expect high blood pressure, rapid heart, and a host of other very unpleasant physical and mental issues I don't want to see you go through.
I detoxed from a prescribed 20 milligrams of Klonopin nine months ago, abruptly, with no taper, and nearly died. Seizures, psychosis...ended up in the hospital for 10 days, seven of which I sort of remember.
Get medical help. Withdrawal from just one or two milligrams of Xanax can be horrible. Don't put yourself through it. And abrupt withdrawal stands the chance of creating protracted withdrawal.
Please, screw the cost, screw whether you can get into a detox...Got he ER and tell them you need to find a doctor experienced in benzo withdrawal who can help you. At least you need to be monitored. You can have seizures. You should expect high blood pressure, rapid heart, and a host of other very unpleasant physical and mental issues I don't want to see you go through.
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