Well, hello! First post!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
Well, hello! First post!
Hello everyone,
I've been reading this site regulary while trying to stay sober lately and I found it extremely helpful. I've been drinking for a few years, managed to quit for 8 months last year, but started drinking again this last winter. I've been drinking on and off since then. Had plans to quit, managed to not drink for a few days and re-wind. It's day 5 this time and I am committed to not drink again.
Actually, kinda proud ... Went out to get beers yesterday, had all the talk back and forth in my head and decided to get some water and ice cream from McDonalds first (I read on here that this helps with cravings...) and well, I actually calmed down, enjoyed the sun and did not drink any alcohol.t
The hard part for me is that I am well aware of my problem, but since I do not have any physical withdrawal symptoms it makes quitting seem easier than it actually is. The bad (alcoholic) voice is like "See, you've done this before... You can quit, so why not do that tomorrow? We both can relax today". And there are moments when that makes perfect sense to me... I remember that I did not really see drinking as an option a month or so after I quit last time, so I hope I can make it to this point again and build on it with help from others. I am making an appointment to
start alcoholism therapy his week and I plan to head to an NA meeting tomorrow or Thursday. I prefer NA over AA simply because of the age structure of the groups, plus I have experience with illegal drugs as well (not addicted though!), so I can relate.
Anyway, it's early morning over here in good old europe and it's time to head out for my morning run (I do sports 7 times a week, mixing the Gym and running...) which definitely helps to keep my mind in check.
I'll be back later to do some more reading!
I've been reading this site regulary while trying to stay sober lately and I found it extremely helpful. I've been drinking for a few years, managed to quit for 8 months last year, but started drinking again this last winter. I've been drinking on and off since then. Had plans to quit, managed to not drink for a few days and re-wind. It's day 5 this time and I am committed to not drink again.
Actually, kinda proud ... Went out to get beers yesterday, had all the talk back and forth in my head and decided to get some water and ice cream from McDonalds first (I read on here that this helps with cravings...) and well, I actually calmed down, enjoyed the sun and did not drink any alcohol.t
The hard part for me is that I am well aware of my problem, but since I do not have any physical withdrawal symptoms it makes quitting seem easier than it actually is. The bad (alcoholic) voice is like "See, you've done this before... You can quit, so why not do that tomorrow? We both can relax today". And there are moments when that makes perfect sense to me... I remember that I did not really see drinking as an option a month or so after I quit last time, so I hope I can make it to this point again and build on it with help from others. I am making an appointment to
start alcoholism therapy his week and I plan to head to an NA meeting tomorrow or Thursday. I prefer NA over AA simply because of the age structure of the groups, plus I have experience with illegal drugs as well (not addicted though!), so I can relate.
Anyway, it's early morning over here in good old europe and it's time to head out for my morning run (I do sports 7 times a week, mixing the Gym and running...) which definitely helps to keep my mind in check.
I'll be back later to do some more reading!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Wow...looks from my read of your situation you have a good grip on making a clean start. The next thing is making sobriety your only piority.
Me...I had to forgo all the mental loops, spiritual dupes, physical poops to get where sobriety/clean was the only option.
Best behavior you will in the sober/clean life. Hope you keep me update...yes!
Me...I had to forgo all the mental loops, spiritual dupes, physical poops to get where sobriety/clean was the only option.
Best behavior you will in the sober/clean life. Hope you keep me update...yes!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi aNewDawn 
Yeah I convinced myself many times that because I had a good detox with little or no ill effect, or because I recovered quickly from an extended bender, I must not be 'that bad'.
You're right to look for support - having a firm support network, and using it regularly really helped me to challenge those ridiculous ideas
Welcome!
D
Yeah I convinced myself many times that because I had a good detox with little or no ill effect, or because I recovered quickly from an extended bender, I must not be 'that bad'.
You're right to look for support - having a firm support network, and using it regularly really helped me to challenge those ridiculous ideas
Welcome!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
Thank you all for the kind words! I've been somewhat busy yesterday with work, so didn't have the time to write again, I've been checking the site in between though. Had a short moment of "Oh, why not have a beer or four..." moment after work, but did not give in.
I also had strange thoughts of "I'll never be able to go out and party again..." and that's kinda stupid, because I usually hid myself when I was drunk and never thought about going out or party. I guess the alcoholic voice is trying all kinds of dirty tricks! So glad it failed again...!
Day 6, here I come!
Of to the gym in 30 mins or so. Some more reading here till then. I'll be back posting for sure!
I also had strange thoughts of "I'll never be able to go out and party again..." and that's kinda stupid, because I usually hid myself when I was drunk and never thought about going out or party. I guess the alcoholic voice is trying all kinds of dirty tricks! So glad it failed again...!
Day 6, here I come!
Of to the gym in 30 mins or so. Some more reading here till then. I'll be back posting for sure!
polyaddicted cocanut
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Dixie
Posts: 781
welcome, stay on your toes, and share your thoughts/feelings as often as you can because sometimes I tend to get thoughts, and I don't even realize it's my disease until I run it by someone or type it out and look at it from a different angle; it's easy to pick up on the obvious ones, but my addicted mind seems to find a way to rationalize anything, and it's pretty convincing, especially if you let your guard down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
This is day 7! Woohooo! Doing pretty good right now, but it's early morning over here and I am always full of energy right after waking up. Early bird and all that...
Had to go through some money issues yesterday, getting stuff sorted and was so close to getting something to drink to "ease it". Glad I didn't, I would have even less money now.
I have looked up meetings for the weekend and I'll go to one on Saturday. I doubt I'll be sharing anything, but I'll be there listening and getting to know the people. It usually takes a while for me to be able to "share" something about myself.
Had to go through some money issues yesterday, getting stuff sorted and was so close to getting something to drink to "ease it". Glad I didn't, I would have even less money now.
I have looked up meetings for the weekend and I'll go to one on Saturday. I doubt I'll be sharing anything, but I'll be there listening and getting to know the people. It usually takes a while for me to be able to "share" something about myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
8! Feeling great!
As I wrote above I've been doing gym and running daily, even while I was drinking in the last year and after a week without alcohol I can already see that the training is much more effective this way. I also lost quite a bit of weight even in this one week... I know all this appearence stuff might not be the best reason to stay sober, but it definitely helps right now.
Anyway, not much else to say right now... Off to the gym I go!
As I wrote above I've been doing gym and running daily, even while I was drinking in the last year and after a week without alcohol I can already see that the training is much more effective this way. I also lost quite a bit of weight even in this one week... I know all this appearence stuff might not be the best reason to stay sober, but it definitely helps right now.
Anyway, not much else to say right now... Off to the gym I go!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
Damn, just got home from work and I really, really, really feel the urge to drink right now. It's the same old story again along the lines of "See, it's been not that hard to stay sober the last week... so why not have a good day / evening and continue tomorrow". I have to tell myself again and again that I have been at this point so many times that, it would likely be a "all weekend" thing and I would feel bad for it. Really bad. I don't want to feel bad. Do I?
I'll just pour down as much water as I can now and see if there is a movie or series on TV I can watch. I wanted to head out for groceries in a bit, but I don't want to be tempted... I'll stay at home for now.
Oh well, guess I am just writing down what I think hoping this helps realizing how stupid drinking would be.
I'll just pour down as much water as I can now and see if there is a movie or series on TV I can watch. I wanted to head out for groceries in a bit, but I don't want to be tempted... I'll stay at home for now.
Oh well, guess I am just writing down what I think hoping this helps realizing how stupid drinking would be.
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