1undone

Well it's 30 days and I don't know what I expected but I'm not excited in the least. What's wrong with me? In fact I'm sad. I feel like an old friend is gone still.

woowaa

Hey!!

Don't beat yourself up.

I am not far behind you and I am still having un-remarkable days and days where I miss something though can't put my finger on it.

I know it's just another day but I think you have done brilliantly to remain sober this long. Now another 30 huh?

Well done

barb dwyer

Hi Undone -

Look at the other side of the coin, maybe.
(pun intended)

You've gone 30 days!
that's enormous!

aND IT'S SOMETHING YOUV'E ACCOMPLISHED
ON YOUR OWN
FOR YOURSELF

oops - sorry - got excited and hit the caps button.

Do you go to meetings?
Do you have anyone in your real life that can share this with you?

That's a function of AA that I fully embrace.

The reinforcement.
The support.
The company.

Maybe re-post this like most the other (myself included) do/did -
"I HAVE THIRTY DAYS!"

and see just how many other here
are cheering for you.

you're a month in on a NEW life.

make the most of it!

Grieving over a substance
is looking backward.
Posting a congratulatory thread...

is looking FORWARD while being in the TODAY.



congratulations!

least

Congrats on thirty days sober!! Woo hoo!!

ajangel

We are in the same boat. I have been that way all week. I called my sister today and told her the exact same thing. I am missing something. I do not feel like the same person anymore. I am thinking I need to find something outside of drinking that gives me pleasure. I was just online trying to find a gym or club to join. I just know that drinking was far worse for me. Hang in there. You are not too far behind me. 30 days is awesome. I hear it does get better.

SomethingBetter

the path between 60 to 90 days was the hardest for me, at 112 days it seems a lot better, if you drank for years at least give it a few months, it does get better.

Draciack

1undone,

Grieving the loss of alcohol was a necessary part of my sobriety, and one I didn't expect. I had lost my always reliable companion alcohol and there was all that time, the pain of bottoming out, shame, etc. There's no timetable for these sorts of things.

Congrats on your 30 days

saphira

Congrats on 30 days!! As somebody who has back-tracked quite a bit, I feel like I'll never reach 30 days. You should feel great about staying sober for yourself, but also don't forget that you give people like me (and many more I'm sure!) hope that we, too, can reach that 30 day mark! You are an inspiration! Focus on that if nothing else. Congrats again!

LexieCat

Congrats on 30 days. I didn't "miss alcohol" or grieve it, but I DID find it pretty darned uncomfortable being me without feeling like myself (not that I wanted to feel crappy, but I was used to being "comfortably numb"). It's weird.

One of my personal favorite bits of advice to those in early recovery is "expect to feel WEIRD." Ride it out. The weirdness passes as you get used to how you feel now, and find other, healthier ways to deal with stress, disappointment, anger, joy, celebrations. You AREN'T the same person, but you haven't yet become whom you will be. That's stressful, and disappointing. We alcoholics aren't known for our appreciation for delayed gratification. We want what we want, NOW.

Trust those who have gone before you--you will not feel this way forever. It gets better. You gotta do the work, though, and be willing to deal with discomfort in the meantime. It is SO WORTH IT.

Programmatic

From an outside perspective this sounds to be a good thing. Not drinking and not changing is a recipe for disaster. Change takes courage and it generally is unpleasant. However, the payoff is substantial.

Seek support and you will find it.

Itchy

I say amen to everyone's responses even the ones still trying to get to 30 days!

I can guarantee you only two things.

1. Life doesn't get any easier, or harder than it was.

2. Being sober does get easier with time!

8 months here, and for me the whole first three months sucked, the next three sucked less, and now big swings up and down are rare. I am on an even keel more each day, with only minor course adjustments. I had a bad day yesterday that had nothing to do with alcohol. It didn't cause it, I didn't want to drink at all, although I did laugh at myself when I thought that in the old days that is what I would do to help, as if . . .

I just felt like I made a social blunder and reminded myself that I have to relearn a lot and that being easy on myself is the best way, then correct and try again. Today much better. My wife knew I was disappointed in myself, and she figured out that I actually was wrong about being wrong.:ghug3

mirage

Congratulations 1undone! I'm very happy for you!

Dee74

30 days was not a real big thing for me either 1undone.

I still felt like the same person, I still missed my old life - for all I hated it, it was all I knew....I'm also dreadful with change.

But after 30 days I began to move from a 'not drinking' to a 'building a new sober life'
focus....60 days meant more to me...and by 90 days? I really appreciated what those 90 days meant

There's nothing wrong with you - well no more than there is with me
You're doing great

D

giggle

Congratulations 1undone, as someone who is 10 days in (first time I haven't had a drink in a week in over 15 years!) I say congratulations. I really hope I can get to 30 days and keep going.

you can do it (hell, you have been doing it for 30 days!!!)
x

instant

Hi 1undone

congratulations on your achievement. Sounds like you are really missing your old friend. Refresh your memory on the full deal with your 'friend'.

I am not far behind you (day 29). I am hoping tomorrow will be a dull ordinary day.........without the torment, pain and false promises I was suffering a month ago.

In the past I have been tripped up and lost my way due to "romantising" my relationship with alcohol, and also resentment,, "it's not fair" type scenarios. This time I have found the advice of practicing gratitude very helpful.

Hang in there !!!

1undone

Thanks all! I have an "empty space" that I've always looked for external things to fill up. Whatever work I need to do has to come from within. Unfortunately I do get impatient and frustrated.

Tomorrow I get a chip in AA but right now I dread the attention. I know my face will heat up and I'll sweat like crazy. I'm not much for social anxiety!

Thank you all though for the kind words and encouragement.

bratnik

Congrats!! Today is one week for me. You are a true inspiration for us. Hang in there, I'm going to keep trying to catch up to you!! (kinda like the greyhound and the bunny)

Zebra1275

Congratulations on 30 days sober. I'm glad your getting your AA chip tomorrow. If you are going to an open discussion AA meeting, why not suggest "it's been 30 days, is this all there is" as a topic. It might be kind of interesting to what some of the AA veterans think.