DayTrader

MR..... I think you're missing the point OMP is trying to make.....

IF you're freaked out about talking......don't talk. In the early days of AA, new members were "encouraged" to just listen.

When I was new, I felt some sort of "desire" to impress everyone at the table...to say something that everyone would agree with..... to say something soooo insightful and profound that everyone would look to me as some sort of guru. The fear that I might not impress ppl.....that I might say something "wrong" or silly..... would twirl me up into a nervous wreck. I'd spend the whole time at the table thinking about what I was going to say rather than listening to what the other ppl had to say.

As far as "does it get easier?" My experience is yes......it sure does....but it may take some time for your ego to let go of that desire to sound impressive. It actually took me a couple YEARS to quit worrying about what I said, how I sounded, and so forth (mostly at one particular meeting that had a bunch of long-timers in attendance).

For what it's worth, at a "typical" AA meeting near me, there are tables with 7 - 10 ppl at each table. Each person is invited to share. It was passed down to me from my great-grand sponsor that anyone who's talking for more than 5 or 10 minutes is probably trying to impress ppl anyway and that, if you're sharing from your heart, it shouldn't take more than a couple minutes to get it out. --@ a speaker-meeting.....where you're the main speaker.....that's a different story, of course.

Like anything we do in life that's new and different.....practice makes perfect. If you don't know what to say, are unsure, or apprehensive.....just say your last drink date and that you're there to listen and learn. We've all been there before! I don't think anyone walks into AA, feels completely at ease and comfortable, and is looking forward to laying their life out on the tables.

mrposter

I followed through on this today at a meeting I spoke with about my nervousness of sharing and that i just had to open my mouth.

Again it was only 3 or 4 lines and my voice was very shaky.
But it was like a start at tackling my fear my public speaking as much as what I was saying.

People came up to me after the meeting to ask me how I was and one guy gave me his phone number.

I felt a bit humiliated after and thought that they looked down on me.

But at least I did it my fear of public speaking is huge.
I'm hoping it will get easier if I gradually build it up.

I'm thinking it will be hard to go to that meeting again that they will be laughing at me but I guess it's all in my head.

I hope I have to courage to go to that meeting again and don't avoid it in favor of other ones.

GettingStronger2

Good for you! I will get easier with time, and you can do it. It took great courage to put your fear into words, and there starts the fight against it.

I doubt anyone was looking down on you, even though you may have felt that. Keep going back, keep speaking and sharing when you feel you should, and you will be fine.

Thank you for updating us!

Zebra1275

At AA meetings you pick up a lot just by listening. Eventually you will want to share.

FrothyJay

Good for you. What you did required more courage than the most articulate speaker in the meeting.

When we admit our fears, we start to dismantle them. You started that process.

As for what other people were thinking, I believe your alcoholism might be whispering in your ear. It would love for you to believe that everyone was laughing at you. Humiliation is where it wants us.

So I ask you to consider this scenario, which is far more plausible:

no one thought about you again after they left. Perhaps they were momentarily inspired by your courage, but after that, it was over. When they see you next week, they'll remember you as the brave, honest guy. Nothing more.

And when you lift your hand to share again, whenever that is, it will be less heavy.