Jess4856

I go to court in 2 weeks for a 2nd & 3rd dui. 3rd will be a felony with 1 year minimum in jail. Since it happened I went to rehab (my choice) and have been sober for 54 days. I've felt better and don't want to drink and have been actively involved in AA. If Im convicted of a felony I lose my job that I love and have been at for almost 10 years and won't be able to lease an apartment..not to mention lose my liscense for 10 years. I have an 18 mo old daughter and I don't want to miss a year of her life! Im so sad, worried and discouraged right now. Ive been doing really well in my recovery but tonight this is really hitting me hard. I don't know what to do.I know worrying will only hurt me but I can't stop thinking about all I stand to lose and that Ill probably go to jail.

Dee74

Hi Jess

I know it's a huge thing to have hanging over your head, but you're dpoing all the right things now, which really is all you can do.

I hope for your sake and your family your worst fears won't be realised

D

nancyj

It's ok to worry... I'd be worried, too.

But don't let it tie you in knots. You are doing all the right things. You have love in your heart that's big enough for all this... and you got a lot of people pulling for you

Really

CarolD

Some AA members of your home group might write letters
for you to offer the judge....showing you have been
attending and doing well.
I've done that and also gone to court for support...tho
never been asked to speak on anyones behalf.

Obviously.....showing up hung over and or drunk is really
The smell alone will tell on you.

As alcohol is a depressant..it will only magnify your worrieds.
Don't let alcohol interfeer with you amd your family..it's done
enough damage already..

I'm sorry you are feeling down...........prayers for your peace.
Welcome to SR....

newwings

I'm so sorry, Jess. This must feel awful for you that you are having to face up to some pretty harsh realities after you've worked so hard to get sober. Consequences always seem so useless when you are drunk, and so REAL when you are clean. I am thinking of you and hoping the court sees you are doing your very best. Please don't let the worrying make you slip. You've come so far and you are headed in the right direction, alcohol won't fix this. You know it.

Good luck.

Anna

I'm sorry you're going through this. The reality and enormity of what we've done can be overwhelming. I am sending prayers of strength your way.

artsoul

I can only imagine what you're feeling and I'm so sorry...... I hope by "giving up" you didn't mean taking a drink.......

If I were you, I would get out my Emergency Gratitude List........ and start really thinking of the good things you have in your life: you didn't kill anyone while drinking drunk, right? Your daughter is healthy today? You don't have cancer? You're not living on the street, right? Just stuff like that......it really helps put things in perspective.

Maybe you can think of a few positive things to do while you're in jail (books on recovery/self help, draw pictures for your daughter, take a course,......etc.). Talk to others who have been there........ IDK, anything really to keep it from overwhelming you. Sending prayers your way....

MsCooterBrown

Thinking of you Jess...the only way to go now-is UP! Positive thoughts coming your way!

Hevyn

Hi Jess. I got a 2nd & 3rd, too - in Delaware. I ended up with a sentence of 2 yrs. but only served 8 days - the rest was probation. (I had a VERY high bac, too.) I told the judge that even though I'd had dui's before, I finally realized for the first time that I'm an alcoholic and can't touch it. He was very stern & even though he gave me a break, he said if I violated probation I'd go immediately to jail to serve the whole 2 yrs.

I hope it turns out to be way less horrible than you're imagining. Keep talking to us - it helps relieve the stress.

crisco

Think of this of this incident as your rock bottom. Without hitting rock bottom, you would never have the chance of getting sober and starting a new life. Your drinking would progress to until you would go the grave.

This disease is a fatal disease, and without hitting rock bottom, we would progres towards the death. You are now sober and in the program. You have the chance to work the steps and set yourself free from the past.

You cannot change the past. You could not back and undo those DUIs. Your higher power allowed the subject events to transpire because that it was took you to get sober.

We are only required to work on these that we change. You cannot control the fact that you are going to prison, but you can control your attitudes towards it. You can use this as a teaching moment or you could let it slide yourself into depression. If you let depression and self-pity control you, you will drink again.

I hope this advice will help you,

Opivotal

Sending prayers your way Jess. I think CarolID's suggestion can only help. Get all the support and back up you can. One day at a time hun. I hope everything works out.
You've done a great job and should be proud of the progress you've made!


Best Wishes To You! :ghug3

OklaBH

Sorry about your troubles. Alcohol does us no good. I think carol had an incredible idea. Take the advice. Good luck and let us know what happens

least

If you give up now things will only get worse. Don't give up.

ACT10Npack

Sorry about your 2nd/3rd DUI charge. I'm going through a 2nd DUI in Georgia. I hope you have a good lawyer. As long as you didn't hit anyone and show the DA and judge that your working on your alcohol problem then you should not get much jail time. Jails are full now and they can't keep a person with 3 DUIs when they can put someone with real bad criminals.

I though the 4th DUI is a felony in all 48 states but I maybe wrong. Just make sure that the judge know that you have a daughter and if you get a felony then you will lose your job and can't support her. But I think if you have a good lawyer then he/she would bring it up. Just remember that our actions have prosecution.

Good Luck!!!

P.S.; If/when you get jail time keep to yourself and don't talk to anyone. You want to do your time and get out.

BlueWaterRob

Hi Jess, I'm going through my first and I can only imagine what you are going through with a 2nd and 3rd. I don't really have much to add that hasn't already been said other than make sure you have the best lawyer you can afford. Hopefully the fact that you have an 18 month old, stand to lose your job/career, are in recovery, etc., will weigh in your favor. I really hope things work out for you and keep us informed...

HarpoMarx

Jess, I wish I could write more, but hang in there brother. Follow the advice of your brothers and sisters who've replied above. I especially like Crisco's advice. This is your rock bottom. I had mine 2 years ago. The only way out is to stay sober and deal with the consequences and know that the consequences will be so SO much worse if you picked up the bottle again. I'm sending you some good vibrations brother - you'll get through this. No matter how trite it sounds, there really is always light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me.

reggiewayne

Hi Jess! You're doing great! 54 days is awesome. I know you've heard this before but there isn't one problem that we have that drinking makes better. The past is the past and there is nothing we can do about it. It's my experience that things always work out just like they are suppose to. The job, the possible jail time, the leasing of an apartment, etc.. all of those things will take care of themselves. You just have to have faith that the man (or woman) upstairs is working in your life.

This is where the "rubber hits the road" for us AA'ers. If we really have "made a decision to turn our will and lives over the care of God as we understand him" then we should not be fearful. I find that when I am living in future fears I'm taking my will back and once again trying to be the director in the play of life. It's this struggle that makes me irratible, restless, and discontent. That can be the gateway into relapse.

Could you imagine how bad a 4th DUI would be? Things can ALWAYS get worse. It's up to us to take the actions that will ensure avoidable bad things (like alcohol related arrests) don't happen.

I would suggest looking at this struggle as a way to learn to really lean on your HP. It will make your recovery that much stronger. Go back to the serenity prayer. Accept the things you can't change, change the things you can, and seek guidance to know the difference.

God didn't take you this far to just dump you on your ass now!

I love that saying. Hang in there. It sounds like you're doing all you can!

Jess4856

Thanks everyone. You are right, reggiewayne...taking my will back is something I struggle with. I do it without even noticing. My hp will see me through this as long as I keep doing the next right thing. I have to remind myself of that every day. I really appreciate all the support out there. You guys are awesome!

SwanSong

Hold on to that attitude and mindset Jess and thinks will turn out OK. They may not turn out exactly how you want them to but life will be ok and you will see this through. If you go back to drinking absolutely nothing good will come of that so stay focused and trust. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!