Indirect ways alcohol has closed some doors in my life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 77
Indirect ways alcohol has closed some doors in my life
Well, in my first post I said that I will be graduating college this summer....so that's the background for now. Also I've been sober for just over 3 months now....
After I graduate there's a high probability that i won't get a job, not only because of the economy and competition with others in my specialized field of study....but because of the way people perceived me in the past due to drinking issues I had the last several years.
For instance, I was late to a meeting at the end of the 2009 summer. Doesn't sound big, but it was huge. This was the "closing" of my internship with a fortune 150 company. The meeting was to see off all the interns and to mingle with the big shots of the company once more before school started again. I was only late by about 2 or 3 minutes, but everyone else was there early. The reason I was late was.....you guessed it! I got hammered the night before!
So, needless to say, that company doesn't see me in a very favorable light anymore. And since the industry in which I'm planning on joining is very small, it's possible that word would get out that "Yeah that dude is a drunk don't hire him."
The next example is from this past summer. I worked at a job that I had 3 summers ago, so I was familiar with all the people and vice versa. They knew that I liked to drink, and had no problem with it. But that soon changed. There was a three day stretch where I just plain skipped going into work because I was sitting in my bed sleeping off a hangover until 4pm. Before this they thought I was a great employee, and maybe even had a future with the company. But I screwed this one up to.
Now, this past fall I was planning on trying to get into grad school. I needed letters of recommendation, so I asked the two employers written above. The former said he couldn't write a letter due to corporate policy, the latter said it was because he couldn't trust me anymore, and wouldn't put his "neck on the line" for me. Basically, neither wanted a thing to do with me.
And then the icing on the cake is that I couldn't even get out of bed to take the GRE because I was too anxious due to withdrawals from drinking.
So in summary:
May not get a job out of college, and can't get into grad school since I've burned too many bridges (I NEEDED those letters of recommendation, a letter from people outside our industry hardly carries any weight).
I lost 2 EXCELLENT references because of my drinking, that will probably or may have already had an impact on my future.
Anyway, just wanted to type that out before I went to bed. And to remind myself why i shouldn't drink again in the future.
After I graduate there's a high probability that i won't get a job, not only because of the economy and competition with others in my specialized field of study....but because of the way people perceived me in the past due to drinking issues I had the last several years.
For instance, I was late to a meeting at the end of the 2009 summer. Doesn't sound big, but it was huge. This was the "closing" of my internship with a fortune 150 company. The meeting was to see off all the interns and to mingle with the big shots of the company once more before school started again. I was only late by about 2 or 3 minutes, but everyone else was there early. The reason I was late was.....you guessed it! I got hammered the night before!
So, needless to say, that company doesn't see me in a very favorable light anymore. And since the industry in which I'm planning on joining is very small, it's possible that word would get out that "Yeah that dude is a drunk don't hire him."
The next example is from this past summer. I worked at a job that I had 3 summers ago, so I was familiar with all the people and vice versa. They knew that I liked to drink, and had no problem with it. But that soon changed. There was a three day stretch where I just plain skipped going into work because I was sitting in my bed sleeping off a hangover until 4pm. Before this they thought I was a great employee, and maybe even had a future with the company. But I screwed this one up to.
Now, this past fall I was planning on trying to get into grad school. I needed letters of recommendation, so I asked the two employers written above. The former said he couldn't write a letter due to corporate policy, the latter said it was because he couldn't trust me anymore, and wouldn't put his "neck on the line" for me. Basically, neither wanted a thing to do with me.
And then the icing on the cake is that I couldn't even get out of bed to take the GRE because I was too anxious due to withdrawals from drinking.
So in summary:
May not get a job out of college, and can't get into grad school since I've burned too many bridges (I NEEDED those letters of recommendation, a letter from people outside our industry hardly carries any weight).
I lost 2 EXCELLENT references because of my drinking, that will probably or may have already had an impact on my future.
Anyway, just wanted to type that out before I went to bed. And to remind myself why i shouldn't drink again in the future.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 228
Well, you may have closed some doors due to your drinking, but the good news is that you're still young and that you have already quit drinking. Congrats on the three months sober!
I personally think that you may very well be surprised at how many new doors will open once your mind and body is cleansed from alcohol. You may not be able to fully redeem yourself in some respects, but in other ways you most certainly can. You may also find other avenues you didn't even know existed or, perhaps, you may have the ability to create your own avenues. The sky is really the limit if you allow it to be while remaining open-minded toward the things that'll present themselves to you. Of course, it may take some time, but it seems you already know what you need to do. I wish you the very best!
I personally think that you may very well be surprised at how many new doors will open once your mind and body is cleansed from alcohol. You may not be able to fully redeem yourself in some respects, but in other ways you most certainly can. You may also find other avenues you didn't even know existed or, perhaps, you may have the ability to create your own avenues. The sky is really the limit if you allow it to be while remaining open-minded toward the things that'll present themselves to you. Of course, it may take some time, but it seems you already know what you need to do. I wish you the very best!
unlearning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: russia
Posts: 343
You'll see many more doors open, best to be ready when they do. I've been closing doors for about 30 years, still have a good life, but wish I decided to make it better at a young age. Chin up fridge!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Congrats on 3 months!
I'm in a similar position except about 6 months ahead of you. I have been working really hard and making a ton of progress in many ways but I am having difficulty moving ahead professionally. My Coach reminded me last night that with the economy as it is that was to be expected and to not worry, things happen for a reason. So things are coming together a lot slower than I want (or would have 6 years ago) but they are improving and I just need to have patience.
Sometimes bad things happen for a reason but it takes awhile to see what that reason is.
xo, LaFemme
I'm in a similar position except about 6 months ahead of you. I have been working really hard and making a ton of progress in many ways but I am having difficulty moving ahead professionally. My Coach reminded me last night that with the economy as it is that was to be expected and to not worry, things happen for a reason. So things are coming together a lot slower than I want (or would have 6 years ago) but they are improving and I just need to have patience.
Sometimes bad things happen for a reason but it takes awhile to see what that reason is.
xo, LaFemme
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 72
I know what you mean refrigerator.
I have been drinking so heavily the past 3 years that I have been flunking my professional board exams. I am half way there but have been miles away bc of my drinking.
My peers have successful careers with money and I have been stuck in a pergatory, half baked hell.
We can't go back.... that is for sure .
But hopefully we can make amends and go forward - I am clinging to that hope at the moment.
I have been drinking so heavily the past 3 years that I have been flunking my professional board exams. I am half way there but have been miles away bc of my drinking.
My peers have successful careers with money and I have been stuck in a pergatory, half baked hell.
We can't go back.... that is for sure .
But hopefully we can make amends and go forward - I am clinging to that hope at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Well I sort of did that in college too but it took me 20 more years to figure out where I had gone wrong. If you've straightened up now you're way ahead of the game.
Don't beat yourself up about past mistakes. Odds are that in 4 years you'll look back and it won't seem to be that big of a deal. Just do your best to focus on the future- you're young and probably pretty smart. Your future is probably pretty bright.
Don't beat yourself up about past mistakes. Odds are that in 4 years you'll look back and it won't seem to be that big of a deal. Just do your best to focus on the future- you're young and probably pretty smart. Your future is probably pretty bright.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by 30Sober 
I know what you mean refrigerator.
I have been drinking so heavily the past 3 years that I have been flunking my professional board exams. I am half way there but have been miles away bc of my drinking.
My peers have successful careers with money and I have been stuck in a pergatory, half baked hell.
We can't go back.... that is for sure .
But hopefully we can make amends and go forward - I am clinging to that hope at the moment.
I have been drinking so heavily the past 3 years that I have been flunking my professional board exams. I am half way there but have been miles away bc of my drinking.
My peers have successful careers with money and I have been stuck in a pergatory, half baked hell.
We can't go back.... that is for sure .
But hopefully we can make amends and go forward - I am clinging to that hope at the moment.
That's another thing I forgot to mention, that many of my peers in my field of study have gone out into industry with starting wages between 50 - 60k and some even higher. These are my friends from class that I would sometimes drink with, party with, study with, etc. They're all starting their careers off very well, and I'm living with my parents cause I screwed up
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I know this is hard for you but in due time the right opportunity will arise. You will know when and you will prosper then. You'll be ok -in time. In the right time. I have faith on your behalf.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Vermont
Posts: 57
At least you see it now and are actively doing something about it. I'm a big believer that things happen in this world for a reason and we just have to be open to seeing it and taking advantage of the opportunities. Hang in there and continue to keep up the good work.
ps- be sure to clean up a facebook page if you have one, might as well take care of ANY old photos or incriminating "evidence" now while you are rebuilding.
ps- be sure to clean up a facebook page if you have one, might as well take care of ANY old photos or incriminating "evidence" now while you are rebuilding.
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