Missy7

Woohoo!!! Still good. I feel so freakin' good. It's better than those happy drunk moments. And I'll feel better tomorrow.

I do have to face the weekend--kinda stressed about it. We got an text from the karaoke crowd last night but I didn't look at it. I heard it but knew Phil didn't. We had struggled with going or not going for Thursday Karaoke and had settled into a movie. This morning I looked, and I swear we would have gone if we had seen it. "Sure is dull without you guys" it said. I would have been on the way with the promise not to drink, but then I would have been at a table full of fun drinking buddies with good intentions. I got a good night's sleep instead and am at work and ready to rock.

Tonight, Friday, is the Mexican food Karaoke. The most fun of the week and the corona/patron double whammy that put me in this place initially. I haven't decided how to avoid it yet. I do not think I can go there and not drink. Even the server just assumes she should set me up a corona with a patron chaser. One and I'm great. Two is good. Three is deadly. Four and five are just stupid. No one can stop me--Phil tries but he's not allowed. Tonight...tonight.

It's important not to go to a movie or something because if we are out driving at 11:00 or so, I demand we go to a bar (or I used to--haven't proved it yet). It's like, maybe I need to go home and remove everything from the freezer and start cooking it. Then I'll have to stay or the house will burn down.

Or maybe I should call my kids and tell them to bring the grandkids up to the house. I will not drink when taking care of the grandkids. Never have.

Day 6 feels good. I hope it feels good enough.

departure

I definitely share your concern. I have not had a non-drinking weekend in so long that I don't know when it was. We do not have any social engagements this weekend, so that helps some, but doesn't solve my weekend dilemma. I tend to drink at home and alone many weekends.

Tomorrow, my boys have a sporting activity in the morning and then one has a party to go to later in the afternoon. That helps with my boredom drinking. I made plans to do some soul searching exercises so that will help. Maybe in the evening I'll play some games with the kids or have a Star Wars or Indiana Jones movie marathon with them.

Sunday should be easier. If the weather clears we can go for a bike ride or go to the arcade and play some games or maybe go to the movies.

BobGT

That sounds like a good plan. Do whatever it takes to not drink. Sobriety should be the most important thing in your life right now, since the lack of it can cost you everything else. Best wishes.

Anna

Well, it sounds to me like going to the karaoke place is not a great idea. For me, I couldn't be around people who were drinking for a long time.

And, I think that substituting healthy behaviours is the way to go. So much of our lives needs to change, along with not drinking.

Fandy

take the grandkids for the night...it is insurance that you will have a sober evening and stronger will tomorrow. you'll be glad that you did this instead of joining in the corona and shot festival. play the whole scene, including tomorrow morning's hangover in your head.

aasharon90

Going to any lengths to stay sober and chosing to
stay away from people, places and things that would
tempt you with alcohol is what has kept me sober for
20 yrs.

You dont have to lie about not going. Lieing would only
mean youd have to return to make apologies and that
in itself is uncomfortable.

If you don't want to go, then replace it with something
you can do that is not a lie. Ask if you can babysit ur
grandkids or something along those lines. Start an exercise
program by walking every evening. Get into reading a
good book. Tell them you ull try to catch up with them
another time providing nothing comes up. Of course you
can always have something come up. Right?

Slowly you begin to distant urself from the drinkers cause
ur own lifestyle will be changing. You will have new healthier
interests.

And no one needs to know the details but those whom
u wish to know. The rest will always be there as you grow
in ur own recovery and family and relationships.

I enjoyed baking things for my meetings and that got
me out of the house for awhile. It began to be a nice
outing for an hour. Then looked forward to a nice meal
no alcohol , a movie and no hangover for many years.

Journaling helps alot now as you are beginning ur journey
and you can look back yrs from now and see the changes
written in the pages of ur own personal recovery story.

Dee74

I stayed away from my usual haunts for a while...I really needed to make changes in my life.

I stayed away and did other things, and worked hard at my recovery, until I was ready to face the world and I was sure I was rock solid in my resolve.

I look back now and weighing those few weeks or months against the rest of my
life, sober, is a pretty darn good investment

D

Taking5

I have to agree with Dee. To acheive any lasting sobriety I had to change my playground (bars) and playmates (bar buddies).

Just my personal experience.

Missy7

Here's the issue. I go to these stupid things (I'm sick of even writing it) because my husband loves it. He is acting supportive but I know he is going to resent it. During the past few days I have felt like he and I are kind of snippy with each other. He used to have a cataclysmic anger problem. That went on until about two years ago. Guess when the drinking got out of control...so this is very, very tricky. I actually see signs of a rage in his behavior this evening.

I don't know what is going to happen. Don't worry--and I know you won't. This is my issue, my life, and I've known about it for a long, long time. He's a good, good husband, but he has an issue, as do I. So I just have to be tougher--and I think I can.

Ozgirl

Hi Missy, i'm only on day 9 but I will throw my 2 cents in

Just concentrate on staying sober today. Be kind to yourself and care for yourself. It would probably be best to avoid the karaoke. That doesn't mean you can never go again, but it will be easier in the future when you have some solid recovery behind you. Try to do an activity that will help you keep sober, not tempt you to drink, just for today.

MsCooterBrown

I surrounded myself with drinkers and bar people..we seem to find each other. That was the first thing on my list to cross off..no more bar time. I had to stay away from drinking buddies and not expose myself to drinking situations. Needless to say..ALOT of people dropped out of my life. BUT I replaced the drinking time (right after work until I passed out) with other activities. I read and posted here. I was actually glued to SR in the first few weeks. I went to book stores..the library. Read ALOT on addiction. Took in some movies that I actually REMEMBERED after watching them. Lots of walks. I think in order to achieve sobriety for me..I had to take a hard look at how I was destroying myself. Hangovers and anxiety are now a thing of the past. The FUN was only fun for the first three or so drinks..I was always drunk..and when I wasn't drunk I was hungover..that was when I had to work.
I think that the relapses are caused alot of times when people enhance their memories of drinking. Glamorize it..when in reality it slowly kills people.
I think the grandkids sounds like a good plan B. Congrats on 6 days!

Missy7

I don't want to be maudlin, but when I sense he's becoming angry, well it terrifies me. He needs a drink for his own reasons--and he's right. He's a happy drunk. Never hungover. Never staggers. Never throws up. Never blacks out. Never feels guilty. And somehow it removes that part of him that manifests in anger.

Maybe I'll suggest he make himself one and we can stay home instead of going out...makes sense.