desperate
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
desperate
What i wouldn't do for a drink right now lie , steal , beg
i have begged before to get drink and i have done a lot worse
we have no money for drink at the moment only 5 pound to our name
Am that desperate for a drink that am willing to go out begging for it
I have an AA meeting in a few hours so i have to wait to get to that
We have food in the house so we can live for a few days and we get money in a week or so
But i need drink i have a few numbers that i can call and i have SR and my other forums to talk about this
I want to go out and get pissed right now .. instead am going to have dinner and go to my AA meeting see how i feel after it
My husband has refused to go out begging with me or take me any where to get drink as he said that he would be enabling me
He has to take a step back from this witch is understandable dont mean that he dont care at all
It comes down to this if the AA meeting doesn't help tonight i will be out begging tonight If it helps am going home with my husband to a nice warm house instead of sitting out in the cold
some of you may have a go at me for thinking this way and that am taking money of people by deceiving them but i have done worse
i just need to do this
i have begged before to get drink and i have done a lot worse
we have no money for drink at the moment only 5 pound to our name
Am that desperate for a drink that am willing to go out begging for it
I have an AA meeting in a few hours so i have to wait to get to that
We have food in the house so we can live for a few days and we get money in a week or so
But i need drink i have a few numbers that i can call and i have SR and my other forums to talk about this
I want to go out and get pissed right now .. instead am going to have dinner and go to my AA meeting see how i feel after it
My husband has refused to go out begging with me or take me any where to get drink as he said that he would be enabling me
He has to take a step back from this witch is understandable dont mean that he dont care at all
It comes down to this if the AA meeting doesn't help tonight i will be out begging tonight If it helps am going home with my husband to a nice warm house instead of sitting out in the cold
some of you may have a go at me for thinking this way and that am taking money of people by deceiving them but i have done worse
i just need to do this
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Willow...hang in there for your meeting. Say a prayer, distract your thoughts, watch tv, read a book. Do anything, but don't drink. You are strong. You can do this. Don't let that wicked little devil win! Take a bunch of deep breaths, exhale slowly. Take a nap. Take your mind to your favorite place and relax. But, don't drink. Call your sponsor or someone else. Read all the posts you can here; that could take days. But don't drink.
You have my thoughts and prayers.
You have my thoughts and prayers.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
You have to feel this way now, but you don't have to feel this way forever.
Life does not have to be an on-going battle against urges and compulsive behavior.
The action we take is to be changed through a process of recovery. We find someone in AA who understands that, sees how desparate we are, and guides us through the action plan that brings about a spiritual awakening. We are transformed, and we begin to trust and rely on a power greater than ourselves.
Find that person at your AA meeting today.
Life does not have to be an on-going battle against urges and compulsive behavior.
The action we take is to be changed through a process of recovery. We find someone in AA who understands that, sees how desparate we are, and guides us through the action plan that brings about a spiritual awakening. We are transformed, and we begin to trust and rely on a power greater than ourselves.
Find that person at your AA meeting today.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by FrothyJay 
Life does not have to be an on-going battle against urges and compulsive behavior.
orangutan
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,970
Willow I feel for you !!!!
Take a walk it helps me so much I am only days away from where you are now but walking helps clear my head and try to put positive thoughts in your mind about anything else other than a drinking I have to force those thoughts out or they will win.
Take a walk it helps me so much I am only days away from where you are now but walking helps clear my head and try to put positive thoughts in your mind about anything else other than a drinking I have to force those thoughts out or they will win.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
If you've got numbers willow, please use them. People give out their numbers because they want you to call if you find yourself in trouble.
I hope you make some good healthy choices for yourself
D
I hope you make some good healthy choices for yourself
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
It sounds like your committed to not drinking till after your meeting. If you have the courage repeat what you just said in your post to the meeting. I think you'll be amazed at the results.
Ron
Ron
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
i went to the AA meeting , it really helped i didn't say anything to any one has i was late for the meeting i didn't speak i just passed.
Everyone was going to go and have coffee together i have no money at the moment so hopefully i can make it there next week and have coffee
When i got home i read something out the Big book and it helped a lot it reaffirmed the fact that i cant drink and made me think about my Higher power
and how my higher power has helped me in the last few days
Everyone was going to go and have coffee together i have no money at the moment so hopefully i can make it there next week and have coffee
When i got home i read something out the Big book and it helped a lot it reaffirmed the fact that i cant drink and made me think about my Higher power
and how my higher power has helped me in the last few days
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
I really dont feel well mentally at the moment in a way am glad i haven't gone out and drank
But the other part of me is wanting the drink so much
I hear voices and there is 4 of them God and the others are nameless .
The nameless ones keep talking about drink and me drinking and God tells me to not drink and to listen to my higher power
I hear voices most of the time and am on medication for them but my psych says that am stable on my meds and that i may always hear the voices
Along with the voices am seeing things like deformed people and deformed dogs all wanting to hurt me .
If i was drinking i know this would be a lot worse than what it is now and how i deal with it as well would be in question .
I feel very scared right now and i have to make sure with my husband that this isn't real as i don't know if it is or not .
My husband knows what is going on and we can talk about it and decide what to do about it together fairly calmly
But the other part of me is wanting the drink so much
I hear voices and there is 4 of them God and the others are nameless .
The nameless ones keep talking about drink and me drinking and God tells me to not drink and to listen to my higher power
I hear voices most of the time and am on medication for them but my psych says that am stable on my meds and that i may always hear the voices
Along with the voices am seeing things like deformed people and deformed dogs all wanting to hurt me .
If i was drinking i know this would be a lot worse than what it is now and how i deal with it as well would be in question .
I feel very scared right now and i have to make sure with my husband that this isn't real as i don't know if it is or not .
My husband knows what is going on and we can talk about it and decide what to do about it together fairly calmly
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by XWillowX
i went to the AA meeting , it really helped i didn't say anything to any one has i was late for the meeting i didn't speak i just passed.
Everyone was going to go and have coffee together i have no money at the moment so hopefully i can make it there next week and have coffee
When i got home i read something out the Big book and it helped a lot it reaffirmed the fact that i cant drink and made me think about my Higher power
and how my higher power has helped me in the last few days
Everyone was going to go and have coffee together i have no money at the moment so hopefully i can make it there next week and have coffee
When i got home i read something out the Big book and it helped a lot it reaffirmed the fact that i cant drink and made me think about my Higher power
and how my higher power has helped me in the last few days
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