Aysha

Yep, Its that time again.
That time when your emotions go from one extreme to the other when you fist start coming out of the fog.
I am crying at stupid things, feeling blessed and grateful, then disappointed and regretful.
Good thing is I mostly feel positive and good things.
The crying is over realization of what I need to do. They are tears of hope and joy. Thoughts of what I do have and not what I dont.
My little cousins really are a very important factor in my life. They keep grounded and make me feel like I cant be all that bad.
It is an absolute priveledge to have their love and attention.
They see through BS and there is never anything phoney with them.
They always run and scream my name and jump in my arms whenever I see them. They follow me around and make me laugh. They give me back that innocence I threw away so long ago.
I am going to miss them more than anything.
But it is also a very motivating factor for me to do what I need to do.
I'm going to be a complete mess the day I leave.
But I have to look at it as a new beginning. Which it is. It is in my hands now to make it the way I want to.
No more leaving chance to the wind.
I will make it this time.

Kjell

The emotional rollar coaster only needs to be a short ride.

Let someone else do your thinking for you and stay in constant action doing the next right thing over and over and over until you can think for yourself.

We can and do recover. YOU can be living proof.

Kjell

EmeraldRose

Sometimes the right decision is the toughest. It's easy to make sloppy decisions that put us back to square one everytime.
Good for you.

Dee74

Glad you're feeling positive Trish - even if it will be a wrench, I hope this will be the turning point you want

D.