picablue

Hello, this looks like a good active forum!

The short story: I was in a car accident in Jan 2011, after my percolates ran out I was desperate for more so I got addicted to poppy tea. This went on for 7 months and by the end I was having withdraws in the morning so bad that I could barely make my tea so that they would stop.

After trying to quit on my own and failing (even when my husband tried to help I failed) I went to a drug treatment center and they thought about putting me in detox, but instead put me on suboxone. I showed up in withdraw at the center, it was ugly. That was three weeks ago and i have not touched poppies since. I threw away my rather huge stash (all of it!!)



I know that suboxone is also addictive so got started on tapering off of the subs right away.


I started at 8mgs a day and I'm down to 3mgs now. The taper is going GREAT-- I feel confident that I will make it. I do have moments when I'm tempted to take extra suboxone (it's the only thing around now that I tossed my drugs) but, I've been good about sticking to my taper plan.

The IS one problem though... I can't convince my doctor or therapist that moving off of suboxone right now is a good idea.

I'm prescribed 8mgs (that's a lot!) a day. I don't need that much. I've said as much and I've said I want to taper down... but my doctor said "you should not do this at this stage in your recovery it make relapse more common." But I just don't see myself relapsing on to poppies. They made me so SICK-- I never want to go back.

So, now I have a SECRET again, I'm doing the taper and just pretending that I'm taking the 8mgs

I feel guilty about this, one of the MAIN REASONS I wanted to go in to treatment was to get away from all of the secrets.

Also, I could use some support getting off of the subs. I feel tempted to take more now and then, it's not as bad as with the poppies, but, I still have an addiction. It's just a "safe" one.

But, who will be my support group for getting clear of the subs?

Today we talked about triggers for drug use in group, and it was hard for me since I'm thinking my trigger is that ...I'm prescribed this drug. And my doctor says to take more of it than I think I need.

I mean I know it's not the end of the world if I stay on subs for a few months-- but I want to be truly free again like I was before the car crash.

OK. That's my story.

Baschoen

If you are REALLY serious about quitting than I say don't feel guilty at all whatsoever about going down on your suboxone. If you were taking more than they wanted you too that would be a completely different story. I'm on suboxone and have been for about 8-9 months. I'm down from 12mgs to 1 but I can't make the jump to nothing. Suboxone is a great drug when used for a VERY short period of time but once u get on it for a long time its just another addiction. Yes you don't get high and you can't get high off of other opiates. But if you set up a good program (Sponsor, meetings, prayer, higher power) than you DO NOT need suboxone and you should get off of it AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Suboxone is still an opiate meaning u still have withdrawals. Under any other circumstances I would say listen to your doctor, but in this case get off that **** as fast as you can. If you set up a good program you will get clean and stay clean. Stick with it! its awesome that you have gone down this far on your own this fast. I wish I never went on suboxone at all.

Baschoen

Also your support group is meetings and anyone you meet in treatment or at meetings. People will give you numbers left and right. If you need any help people will be there for you. And you can always come here and I know EXACTLY what you are going through.

picablue

Thank you so much. When you say you wish you had never gone on subs it makes me a little scared. I've been reading about them all over the place and most people have trouble jumping from 1mg. The people who I have read about who got off of subs with no withdraws went all the way down to like 0.05mgs before jumping! Subs are super strong!

I have had 1.5mg so far today and I was REALLY tempted to just say "**** it" take the whole 8mg pill and call it a day. But I didn't do that.

I'll have 1.5mg later and stay on course for being drug free.

I don't know what's wrong with me. so if the time I think part of me just likes taking any kind of pill so that I can have any kind of "feeling" even if it isn't really a high. Ughh... gotta grow up.

Dee74

I know nothing about subs Pica but I know a lot of wanting to be well NOW....and I know how that desire to speed that process up has tripped me up more than once.

If you're lying to to your Dr and not trusting his judgment then maybe it's time for a second opinion?

D

Dee74

This should be a matter between you and a doctor Pica - and none of us are doctors.

If it helps, I know several people on this site for whom subs have worked well...but all of them worked with their doctor.

I'd like to remind everyone of our medical rule:

D

picablue

It is not so much that I want to be well NOW (the taper will take me 50 days, 'now' isn't going to happen) -- it's more the fact that I don't want to simply trade one addiction for another. (even if it is less dangerous, and legal)

I think I will just convey this to my doctor more aggressively next time. I believe he thinks that if I'm not taking subs I will automatically take the poppies again.

It's more like if I stop taking the subs I'm at risk of ... starting taking the subs again.

which he shouldn't even care about since he's idea is that I stay on them for "about 6 months" and then... ???

Dee74

I think tackling your Dr again is a good idea

I also suggest you post in our substance abuse forums too Pica - you'll find a lot of people there with experience with subs

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Suboxone/Methadone Maintenance or Detox - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D