NotSoSuper

Soooo, I didn't drink today! I wanted to and I almost did. My friend called me and told me she was doing shots of 1800 and was going on about her buzz and wanted me to come over, but I just told her I wasn't feeling well. Te thing is I know that I can't play sick for long. I know come Friday or Saturday she is going to call and say "Heyyy, come over! Lets drink!". What do I tell her? She has been my best friend for 5 years and I honestly can count on one hand the times we hung out and did not drink. We have been through a lot together as friends, I am God Mother to her child. She has a problem too but not as bad as mine, she has been able to say "ok let me calm down now, I'm drunk". I don't do that. So I really have to figure this one out. Also, I have 3 beers in my closet. I wanted to drink them but I didn't, which is good, but I don't know what to do with them. I keep telling myself to throw them away, but I can not do it. 3 perfectly good beers! I also honestly like the taste of beer, the sound of it when it opens ect. As I'm typing this I'm realizing how sad this sounds. All in all I'm still obviously struggling pretty hard with this, but I did not drink. Last year I would have said "Special Occasion!!!" and drank extra, so this is a big thing for me.

mtnmagic

Congratulations on not drinking! That is a huge step
in the right direction and believe me, I know how hard
it is to turn it down. The thing is you did something
different and broke your pattern. Each time you do
this it will get a little easier.

You say you bought yourself a few days by "being sick". That is ok. It takes
what it takes. If she is your best friend, can you see yourself having an
honest conversation with her about your decision to stop drinking? Maybe
involve her to come up with things that the two of you can do together
that will help break your pattern of drinking together to have fun?

About those three beers. If you can't throw them away, give them
away, like now. Can even make it a nice little valentines present.
Obviously to someone without a drinking problem, lol. A different friend,
neighbor, leave them out anonymously on someones porch even. Get
rid of them and the temptation is gone, plus it is another step in
breaking the usual pattern of having them around. Reinforces the
commitment to quit.

All the best to you. I'm a little over three weeks sober and can't have
alcohol in the house at all. Take care and keep posting.

SwanSong

Hi NotSoSuper, you know Mtnmagic really nailed all the big points!

1) Congrats on not drinking today - it's an impressive first step and each time you break your pattern it will get easier.

2) Doing what it takes, especially in early sobriety is ok. Sounds like she is a friend who will understand if you explain where you are at and what you are trying to do. A suggestion would be to try and do this when she is not drinking at all (if possible) - maybe mid morning?

3) Anonymous gifts of beer on the doorstep is better than another drunk. You've come this far so you must be aware if won't stop with those three. And I also cannot or won't keep alcohol in my house since getting sober. I boxed up my wine glasses and intend to give them to a friend since, as mtnmagic said, all temptations should be removed if we sincerely want a fighting chance at ending the madness.

Also have you consider in person support groups? AA has worked wonders for me and a lot of others here at SR - the in-person interaction is just as critical to my recovery as this website is. It's like the scales of justice, one day it's AA that I need more another it's SR.....having both helps keep everything in balance for me.

The journey is amazing the longer you keep at it, that much I can attest to. I hope you decide to give recovery an honest chance and watch your life blossom!

Best and welcome!

Dee74

Hi notsosuper

Congartulations on getting through

I think you've got some excellent advice here.

Dump the beer...somewhere anywhere...why torture yourself?

Also think about what you're going to say to close friends etc - espeically if those friends are drinking buddies.

I think nothing is better than the truth myself - it's certainly better than a short term excuse because that leaves the door open for drinking some day - and believe me they will not stop calling....

but the A word is a tricky thing....only you know how that will play among your friends/family....

whatever you say it probably needs be no more detailed that you're giving up drinking for good for your health - thats all anyone really needs to know IMO.

These days I simply say 'I don't drink /drink anymore'...no further explanation.

Finally - think about support. If SR's working for you, that's great but do have a look around at what other people are doing as well. I don't think you can have too much support NSS

D