This is insanity!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
This is insanity!!!!
The thread about honestly made me drink...the only person who judges me is me....it's the only opinion i care about....i'm selfish,canyving,lying everything bad that has ever been said about anybody has been thought about me.......but i have had people describe me as the most honest person they've ever met? I'm in sales and i know i'm not that good!!! Kinda a backhanded compliment that i'll accept while drunk....but i resent it when sober....do i need to come clean for everything i've done? i want an answer to that from anybody.....frothjay seems to know how to navigate the steps in which i have chosen not to look at yet until i get admitted. I've yet to even know what i like in life....i've been drinking since i was 15....i don't know what way is up...help
You're right! This is insanity. I was freaking out badly when I first quit. As you go through your program, remember how this feels. Go all out with your recovery and you will never feel lke this again. BTW, I love being a father but I divorced my wife...who knows what sobriety holds for you?
hey mesh
I had many of the same thoughts as you - the guys I listened to here told me I would not regret my decision. I had to take that on faith - I'm glad I did...they were right.
What sobriety did for me was strip back the layers I'd added over twenty years of drinking - and yes some of those were not nice layers - but I think I've gotten back to the real me I remember underneath.
You won't lose anything mesh - you'll gain - trust me.
Drinking just adds the same old fuel to the same old fire - you've been there enough to know there are no answers there.
like artsoul said yesterday - if you feel you can't wait for a bed any longer get to the ER or the Salvation Army....anything is better than nothing mesh.
D
I had many of the same thoughts as you - the guys I listened to here told me I would not regret my decision. I had to take that on faith - I'm glad I did...they were right.
What sobriety did for me was strip back the layers I'd added over twenty years of drinking - and yes some of those were not nice layers - but I think I've gotten back to the real me I remember underneath.
You won't lose anything mesh - you'll gain - trust me.
Drinking just adds the same old fuel to the same old fire - you've been there enough to know there are no answers there.
like artsoul said yesterday - if you feel you can't wait for a bed any longer get to the ER or the Salvation Army....anything is better than nothing mesh.
D
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Don't worry, you can always go back to being an active alcoholic if you decide you enjoyed that more. I have a feeling you won't want to, though. It's gonna be a radical, even painful change, but you're gonna be grateful you did it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
if they don't have a bed tomorrow i'll freak...if they do i'll freak.....you can delete this post but i dunno what the **** im going into!!! scared....yeah... i have 27 bucks in the bank.....i love money....oh btw. i am sorry about camping out here...i just want help.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 24
Oh, man I'm right there with you. I've been having these same thoughts forever. It's crazy because I can look at another person and say "if only they did such and such their life would be great." You know, I wish I could do the same for myself. Hang in there. Don't beat yourself up. I'm projecting, but seriously, we're not bad people, we just got a bad card for this addiction. Hang in there. PM anyone cause you can't beat this crap alone.
Best,
Joe
Best,
Joe
Mesh, I'm so glad you're here and hanging on.
I really do remember how scary it is. I think that I knew so little about myself. It was really taking a leap of faith to stop drinking.
It's so worth it!
I really do remember how scary it is. I think that I knew so little about myself. It was really taking a leap of faith to stop drinking.
It's so worth it!
It's all good Mesh. Like I said, you need to get detoxed first, then I think these heavy things on your mind will just simply fall in place. Trust me on that. Just go get yourself detoxed, then start tackling some of these big issues. It's my opinion that when you get a week or two under your belt these issues will be a little quieter in your head.
I would just focus on your actions, not your thoughts. You know you want to go to treatment so do everything you can do to support that decision.
Hang in there!
I would just focus on your actions, not your thoughts. You know you want to go to treatment so do everything you can do to support that decision.
Hang in there!
Hopefully there is a part of you that is excited by the possibility of actually waking up every day feeling good, and looking forward to what lies ahead. That is the part you need to stay in touch with while you are in limbo. That person and that future exists, but you have to stay the course to get there. Scary as all hell from where you stand tonight, but if you can stick this all the way through you won't regret it.
You can do this. You deserve this. Have faith...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi Mesh,
We do insanity rather well. The good thing is that we dont have to. I heard a fab saying last week at AA,
The good news is that you get your feelings back
The bad news is that you get your feelings back
I suppose running away from feelings with alcohol is the insanity that waits for us if we cant face it
We do insanity rather well. The good thing is that we dont have to. I heard a fab saying last week at AA,
The good news is that you get your feelings back
The bad news is that you get your feelings back
I suppose running away from feelings with alcohol is the insanity that waits for us if we cant face it
Breathe dude....in......out.....repeat S*L*O*W*L*Y as often and possible.
It's gonna be ok. Don't be scared. Everyone is there to help you and don't let your illness try and deceive you.
Now breathe some more.
((hugs))
It's gonna be ok. Don't be scared. Everyone is there to help you and don't let your illness try and deceive you.
Now breathe some more.
((hugs))
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