trixieisme

I had this friend growing up, he was a couple years older than me, and always looked out for me. He was like my big brother. Did his share of drinking, drugs, and getting in trouble. Time went on and he kinda disappeared. One day, in 2003, he moves back into his mom's (which was two doors down from my mom's), and we start hanging out again. Turned out he had been addicted to heroin for a while. Had a beautiful little girl that he was only allowed to see sometimes. Well, after moving into his mom's, he got clean. We would hang out and chit chat, and he would teach me life lessons.

I moved out of my mom's, and he moved out of his. Never saw him or heard from him again, until one night, I was sitting at my local bar, and my phone rang. It was my mom, telling me that he had relapsed on heroin and OD'ed and died. I was crushed. I didn't know what to do. I've never really gotten over the whole thing, I guess.

So, here I sit, these past few days, trying to figure out if I can find the strength and willpower to get sober again, and last night, he comes to me in my dream. Not preaching about sobriety or anything. He was just there...my old friend. My big brother. I woke up in tears and cannot stop thinking about it.

I feel like this is his way of trying to teach me one more life lesson. Not to let myself fall back into my old ways. Maybe I won't end up losing my life, but who knows what may happen.

I think I have found my inner-strength...

igottobesober

I lost a very close friend to domestic violence 4 years ago. We grew up together and partied alot together, but she like a sister to me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through losing her. She comes to me in my dreams alot, sometimes good memories and sometimes bad. She was shot by her boyfriend in the head, and sometimes I have nightmares and see her being killed. But most of they are good dreams. I hold to the fact that I will see her again in heaven. She also had drug problems, but now she is in a better place.
Hold on to that inner strength.

LexieCat

Hi, Trixie,

Was wondering what happened to you. Hope you pay attention to your friend. Use that inner strength--but use it to surrender. That's how we win in this deal.

Hope to see you back on Day 1 again, soon!

julez

THAT, my dear, is a Godsmack....
Listen to what He is telling you...

Missybuns

What ever it takes for you to decide you are done. For me it was a series of 'Godsmacks'.

Intuitively...you know.

I am encouraging you, there is support available. You are not alone.

better now than later

We do recover,
Missy