artsoul

Hi VC - The more tired I got, the closer I got to finally giving up. I ran out of ways to combat this disease too. I think something clicked for me when I finally realized things weren't going to be different the next time I drank. I could count on more and more days of the same. And it would get worse. One of the things that helped me make the decision was that I didn't want to end up in the hospital (couldn't afford it).

We're not stronger or better or smarter than you - we're just a little further along in the process. You really can do this. Give up your pride and get help - you deserve it!

tallcactus

You can do this VC!
Come here often, talk about how you are feeling.
Don't quit.

bettterlife4me

VC - The support on SR is awesome as you already know, but I too needed more to stay sober - first with a therapist then swallowed my pride and walked into an AA meeting. I'm glad I did both. You can do this, I know you can.

Hevyn

VC - This is the only post I have time to make today & I'm writing it to you. Do not leave us, do not stop trying - you absolutely can do this. I drank all my life and now have 3 yrs. sober. If this alkie can banish it from her life, anyone can. All your friends here are holding you up and cheering you on. Let's try this again.

stark6935

I'm kind of the opposite. The drinking makes me feel defeated. I keep going back to drink and I come out not feeling any better. I feel better sober honestly. I haven't done much in the past few years because I always feel sick/hungover. If you feel defeated it is probably from the alcohol to be honest.

firestorm090

Hey VC,

It's great to hear you're back with us and still trying!! You're part of the SR family and there are countless arms holding you up and sharing the journey with you toward a better way of living. Keep the faith!! I know it's tough and we feel defeated at times, but the dawn does come right after the darkest night. We're here for you.

notaloser

how has the rest of your day been VC?

LaFemme

Thinking of you. Let us know how its going...k?

BoozeFree

Hangin there VC and don't give up! I struggled for months getting back on track after relapsing but the important thing is I kept trying, You can do it!! Don't bail

kilt

I am gonna be completely selfish here, but I need you. When I log on each day I look for your posts. I love you icon and your recovery is helping me. Even when you stumble. Even when you get pissed off or annoyed. I know it is alot to load on you, my saying this but I think you are important to alot of us. Win or lose, your fight is inspiring. I am betting on WIN for you.

ReadyAndAble

VC, the only way you'd bring me down would be if you stopped coming here.

I depend on you and everyone else who posts here, regardless of whether it's Day 1,000 or the thousandth Day 1.

ViciousCycle

Wow, I did not know this thread was even still going. What a wonderful surprise to see it this morning. Thanks everyone for all your kind words.

I wish I could say things were good right now. I am in a bad spot. Kind of a scary one really. I have to drink to do anything or go anywhere......I stay in the house most of the time.....I have been here before and really hate it. It's controlling my life again. I am kind of afraid to detox so I am tapering off. It seems to be working so far. I want this very badly.

Thanks again to all of you. It means more than you know right now.

leo21

Hey VC - glad you are still around and didn't leave us. I'll share with you that when I first came here in September this place was something I really needed and it always helped to come here to read and post and learn new things. When I slipped up a bit, I found myself doing the same thing - not coming and posting, not reading and just thinking "blah, it's got me again, i'm screwed now."

When you slip into the darkness, remember that SR and these fine folks are a beacon of light. Remember, the light is always bigger and badder than the dark. These small things you are doing will help you and maybe you will start building some momentum each day. I'm working through that right now as we speak. Keep yourself here as a part of recovery.

ViciousCycle

Actually having a better day today. I got out and about and it actually felt good. Kept my morning appt. Trying to get a bit hopeful here..........

Fandy

i thrive on normal and boring...getting out amongst people, even shopping....interaction is good....make yourself go out EVERY day, 2-3X even if it's just for 15 mins....go to the store, post office, run errands..it takes time and gets you out of your own head.

ViciousCycle

I heard Dee say that lately too..........get out of your own head. Makes a lot of sense. I think when we sit home, we stew. At least I do.

Hevyn

VC - The fact that you're still coming here & not totally isolating is a very good & hopeful sign.

I felt just as you do so many times & yet here I sit sober for 3 yrs. When I realized I was totally controlled by it, that was the end. Couldn't make a move without it - took it with me like a pacifier, everywhere I went. Kept it in my purse for those times when I had to run errands, & would dash into the ladies room for my fix. Shameful behavior, but I justified it at the time. I know you're fed up and want out - you can get well & never have to return to your old life of misery.

ViciousCycle

Exactly Hevyn!

I am normally quite a happy person...........this is torture for my personality!

But today I am taking baby steps........getting many overlooked things done.

Hooped

Lots of good advice for you here in this thread VC and there's plenty of people wanting to see you suceed and willing to help you anyway they can.

You can do it.
Keep it simple.

ViciousCycle

I don't really know why, but I am feeling some hope today........probably from all the notes on this thread and getting out to that meeting I had with my tax person......I almost called to cancel......but I didn't and I think it feels good to follow through......

Now to attend to my poor kitty's litter box. Any takers? LOL