LeadHatter

"Anyhow this is my second post and a hi as per recommended by dee.

Im 32 and have (i think) been addicted to alcohol for atleast 14 years.

Again im not too sure but i think now being at day 10 this is the longest i have been sober for about twelve years apart from a mandatory spell when i had a chest plaster on and was on painkilling drugs [an accident i had under the influence btw].

So where do i go from here? I have my first ever AA meeting wednesday.

I gotta tell you the Best [yet hardest] part for me about being sober s facing my problems nightly in bed. Sleeping drunk or exhausted I did not really face my problems at night.

So im as sober as i have been in 12 years. Does anyone know what challenges i may face on the road ahead? Looking back at 14-16 years of alcohol drug and sex use is something else.

Onward to tomorrow when i will be day 11!

kevin"

least

Congrats on your sober time and welcome to SR.

Hevyn

Welcome Kevin - it's great you found us. SR helped give me the courage to give up a life long drinking dependency. I know you can do this & reclaim your life.

I remember when I was first coming out of my fog - having to face all the things I'd done while drinking - it was one of the most painful times of my life. You're beginning to confront your problems - be proud of yourself for that. Things will begin to get better as you come out into the sunshine and start living the life you were meant to, with a clear head. That's the biggest challenge, and it sounds like you're facing it - congratulations on your 10 days!

I hope you do go to the meeting. Let us know how you're doing.

Mark75

Go to the meeting... What else are you gonna do on Wednesday... Heck, if you can find one today, go...

A couple of things. First think about today. Just live in the day, this one. Heck yes!!, it's scary, the future, what it's gonna be like, sober and all... No one knows the challenges you will face in the future, but my guess, if you are like me, is that whatever I am worried about happening, or about how it's gonna be... the worrying is always worse than the reality... and as you get recovered, your life gets a whole lot better than it is right now. But getting recovered isn't about just not drinking and smoking.

The other is, hmm, you used that word control... getting control over alcohol, drugs, internet porn... how about just thinking about not fighting it at all... just kinda step away, get out of the ring... walk another direction, away from it all.... to the "light" so to speak.

I quit fighting.

Anna

Hi Kevin,

Welcome!

I'm glad you recognize that you need support for your addictions.

I have a little advice to offer. Stopping drinking/drugging, etc. is the first step. But, those things are symptoms. I believe that you will need to deal with the underlying issues in order to remain on track. For me, I had years and years of anger to begin to deal with in recovery and it's been a long, but very positive journey.

joinedintime

It's called life. Life is the challenge. It's that thing that we saw bits and pieces of through our drunk and high fogs. It's scary at times, it's hard but it's absolutely great and wonderful and it's real too which is nice.

But you know what? Enjoy the fact that you are on the road even when the road is hard and seems like it's not worth it. Those things and feelings will happen but just remember that you ARE on the right road and don't worry about what challenges are out there. Just meet the challenge of staying on the road one day at a time. One day at a time - it really works.

BTW, I just realized I'm talking about my road to recovery avatar. I hadn't thought about it in a while. Thanks for reminding me and keep up the good work.

Demut

Quote:

Does anyone know what challenges i may face on the road ahead?

Boy do we!!!!!!!! Any of us who have put some time together in recovery know of the challenges, so similar in concept, but so unique to each and everyone of us. The underlying consensus is learning how to do life sober, how to walk THROUGH our problems, feelings, dilemmas. Learning tools for coping when life tosses us a couple of rough stretches we must endure. Dude, we never drank because we oh so love hangovers and all the bs it takes to maintaining our supply of alcohol, because we love the anxiety of driving while being on the look-out for police, because we so love sabatoging meaningful relationships and job opportunities. NO, we drink because a) we're alcoholic and b) because we haven't learned how to "do life>"
Awesome you're planning on a meeting wednesday; just walk in and put it out there, you'll readily experience a group of people with whom you'll feel love and accpetance as you never have before. You'll soon learn that you're not unique, that thousands have been down this road before you, and you'll relish in the atmosphere of what it is like to be with people who have a new lease on life!! Welcome!! Update often; we need you
~d

timetolive

Congratulations- that is great- I am inspired by yet another alcoholic that I am not alone and maybe this sober thing can be done. I am on day 3 kevin. I have gone to 3 AA meets now and as scary as it was the first time I have to say I am feeling very hopeful and looking forward to my next this afternoon. I walk out feeling stronger than when i walked in. I highly recommend you give it a chance. My husband and I have tried for many years to quit on our own and I truly wish we had sought help many years ago. Good luck to you

timetolive

Awesome- so well put. I just can't hear messages like this too often. New to AA and need all the honesty and hope I can find.

Kmber2010

Welcome Kevin! You have our support and just in this thread alone lots of great input

Way to go on having a plan in place so all the best on Wednesday.

You can do this and I felt the real challenge was letting go and accepting change. Learning to do things without alcohol, confronting my feelings (I had quite a few bottled up) and seeing everything in my life in a new positive way. It has been progress for me and I am still working it and loving it all.

What is important is to use the support and tools available to you. You are never alone so please reach out. Early recovery can be a confusing time as begin to get things sorted out.

Looking forward to the journey.

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

CarolD

Glad you posted here too...Hello again....

Sleeping is often difficult in early sobriety...hope this link is helpful

http://www.well.com/user/mick/insomnia/

Try to be gentle with yourself...you are coming off a toxic liquid...alcohol.
drinking water and walking are good to get back in balance.

Muggins

Hi Kevin,

I to am an Englishman, though a little further north 32 years of age and drank for roughly 14 years! A similar boat. Would be a nightmare, if only I was sleeping!!!!

Good to see you hit double digits, I would have been there Thursday had I not drank last Saturday So only day 3 for me but its almost over!!!!!

Did you go to your AA meeting? How did it go?

I would really like to attend a one just I'm far too private for my own good. Not even told my partner of 15 years I have signed up here or even that I am facing my Demons!
Just told her I'm cutting down, I feel to embarrased to discuss it even with her!

Anyway, hope you faring well with all the kind support you have at hand here and presumably your meeting

artsoul

Welcome Kevin - congratulations on 10 days! I would recommend taking everything one day at a time - especially all those feelings and life problems that can overwhelm us. You don't have to tackle everything at once (little steps add up to big ones).

Glad you're here!

JoeCree

there's nothing wrong with being private. I have not told anyone I have a "drinking problem" either - just that I am abstaining from alcohol because I want to lead a healthy lifestyle free of any vices. I still get bombarded with the typical "you're overreacting" BS, or, "what about special occasions?"

I told my wife I read blogs on a site - she doesn't know I post here, but if she ever found out, I certainly wouldn't be embarrassed - and neither should you. Anyone who truly cares about you would support anything you do, if you are making an effort to better your life.

The one problem I have, especially with society, is that they need to slap a title on everything, like they expect you to hit rock bottom, before you are "allowed" to admit you have a problem and would like to improve your life.

MsCooterBrown

I think one of the main things I had to do is change my whole life..just kiddin..but really the most important thing is making sure you find things to do to replace all the drinking time. I did my fair share of time..to fill some of that time I read books on addiction..I watch addiction based tv (such as Intervention-that show is gripping) walking. Just whatever you enjoy doing but couldn't because you were hammered all the time. It may be one of the top reasons for relapse...BOREDOM.. don't get bored.

The other is to figure out your triggers and find ways to shoot down any thought that creeps in to tell you to drink. I got around that by realizing that even when I quit drinking..I still had the drinking personality lurking in the background. I had to kill it. I don't associate with people or places that involve alcohol. I can do dinners and family parties. I do not do bars. It takes time to find all this out for yourself but you will find you now have plenty of time. Hope this helps..

JoeCree

I have not liked going to bars for quite some time. When I quit it gave me a legitimate reason to never go again. I'm getting flack for it now from the typical bunch --- I figure in the near future most of those people will be fading out of my life anyways.

Funny how sobriety makes you realize where you belong, and who you belong with.

Fridaynight

Just wanted to share I relate about facing your problems at ngiht. Being busy keeps my brain out of the "bad neighborhood" but at night's when things slow down and things I might rather avoid pop up. For me using is all about avoidance.

I'm an addict, but I've heard from many alcoholics in the rooms that they began drinking initially as a way to put themselves to sleep. Or that their drinking increased around sleeping. Or that's the "back door"the disease of alchoholism crept through. That was the lie the disease used to get them to drink.

One good thing about online recovery is you can post at any hour.

no matter what your OTHER problems, no matter how large they loom, your first problem to solve is simply the alcoholism. You can't solve any of the others until you first solve the priority. We want everything to get better right away but I hear that "slow" recovery is real recovery. a sponsor could tell you when you might begin to be ready to take on addl problems thing by thing.

Till then, sounds to me like they're just alcholism in disguise. Anything that whispers to you - This would all go quiet if you took a drink, a drink would help you sleep, whatever-- that's a lie. That is the disease, pure and simple.