8 days sober and feeling so much better
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1
8 days sober and feeling so much better
Hi all and thanks for a great place for so much help and support. 
I have been coming back to SR for about a year now always hoping that one day I could stop the rot and quit my drinking habit and made a real effort last New Years day and so far so good however I am starting to get an 'itch' despite the fact that I do feel so much better and can think so much clearer. 'Forever' seems to be such a long way away but the one day at a time ethic is really the way to go.
I can't say I have ever been as ill as so many people on here but if I can warn some who may be in the early stages and as I have read on here so often, alcoholism is a progressive disease and can creep up very quickly without you noticing it perhaps.
I was never a real drinker until I started working from home about 4 years ago aged 40 and often went to the pub lunchtime and just had a coke or two however over the years I started on the pints and it just got progessively, that word again, worse. In the past few months I have spent nearly five days of the week, all day 10/11 hours drinking down the pub and feeling the shame and regret that I just kept on doing it without being able to cut it down however cutting down I now think is not an option.
I've lost count of the number of times I'd go home feeling so ill, not sleeping all night for days hearing my heart beat ten to the dozen, praying to someone to just let me not die tonight. I would even leave the dogs sack of biscuits out in the kitchen just in case I died so he had some food until someone found me. I would wake up about nine and just count the minutes until I could go and get the cure and walk down the pub saying to myself, 'just go home you don't need to do this' but continuing on my way anyway. The first two pints were pretty horrible but afetr the third I was 'back'! I was also acting like a right idiot, talking absolute rubbish sometimes to people I didn't even know which when I look back I find very embarassing indeed.
Too many of these horror illness feelings during December and one particularly scary episode when I really thought I was on deaths door really did make up my mind and New Year is a good time to start afresh so I stayed in New Years Eve and have been dry since.
I have to say I am not one for AA and as I said before don't think I have ever been as bad as many of the stories I have read on here but the support and reading so may threads on here have helped no end so thank you.
If I can just impart a bit of my own thoughts if I may to someone who may be reading this at a young age perhaps, then please realise the dangers of alcohol and if you can stop right now you will be doing yourself a great big favour as the way it creeps up on you is quite horrific. I would also advise reading the book Under The Influence and looking on You Tube for the ten part series Rain In My Heart. This film is dreadful to watch in places and will hopefully be enough for some to not even start or make a decision to stop themselves.
Finally if you are thinking of giving up forever and thinking it a scary thing to do as I do then remember something I read on here also which is: The only drink you have to make sure you don't have is the first one. When you think of forever you may think of all those thousands of drinks you will have to give up/avoid/go without but it really is just that first one you have to not have which makes it all seem a little easier for me.
I also would add how much clearer I am thinking now and have done more work in the last week than I have in the last six months I reckon and am looking forward with hope for once.
Thanks again to SR and all here who give massive support to everyone I know reading the posts has helped me greatly.
I have been coming back to SR for about a year now always hoping that one day I could stop the rot and quit my drinking habit and made a real effort last New Years day and so far so good however I am starting to get an 'itch' despite the fact that I do feel so much better and can think so much clearer. 'Forever' seems to be such a long way away but the one day at a time ethic is really the way to go.
I can't say I have ever been as ill as so many people on here but if I can warn some who may be in the early stages and as I have read on here so often, alcoholism is a progressive disease and can creep up very quickly without you noticing it perhaps.
I was never a real drinker until I started working from home about 4 years ago aged 40 and often went to the pub lunchtime and just had a coke or two however over the years I started on the pints and it just got progessively, that word again, worse. In the past few months I have spent nearly five days of the week, all day 10/11 hours drinking down the pub and feeling the shame and regret that I just kept on doing it without being able to cut it down however cutting down I now think is not an option.
I've lost count of the number of times I'd go home feeling so ill, not sleeping all night for days hearing my heart beat ten to the dozen, praying to someone to just let me not die tonight. I would even leave the dogs sack of biscuits out in the kitchen just in case I died so he had some food until someone found me. I would wake up about nine and just count the minutes until I could go and get the cure and walk down the pub saying to myself, 'just go home you don't need to do this' but continuing on my way anyway. The first two pints were pretty horrible but afetr the third I was 'back'! I was also acting like a right idiot, talking absolute rubbish sometimes to people I didn't even know which when I look back I find very embarassing indeed.
Too many of these horror illness feelings during December and one particularly scary episode when I really thought I was on deaths door really did make up my mind and New Year is a good time to start afresh so I stayed in New Years Eve and have been dry since.
I have to say I am not one for AA and as I said before don't think I have ever been as bad as many of the stories I have read on here but the support and reading so may threads on here have helped no end so thank you.
If I can just impart a bit of my own thoughts if I may to someone who may be reading this at a young age perhaps, then please realise the dangers of alcohol and if you can stop right now you will be doing yourself a great big favour as the way it creeps up on you is quite horrific. I would also advise reading the book Under The Influence and looking on You Tube for the ten part series Rain In My Heart. This film is dreadful to watch in places and will hopefully be enough for some to not even start or make a decision to stop themselves.
Finally if you are thinking of giving up forever and thinking it a scary thing to do as I do then remember something I read on here also which is: The only drink you have to make sure you don't have is the first one. When you think of forever you may think of all those thousands of drinks you will have to give up/avoid/go without but it really is just that first one you have to not have which makes it all seem a little easier for me.
I also would add how much clearer I am thinking now and have done more work in the last week than I have in the last six months I reckon and am looking forward with hope for once.
Thanks again to SR and all here who give massive support to everyone I know reading the posts has helped me greatly.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Good job on the sober time!! Yeah thinking back to the days when you had to have the hair of the dog..seems that should be your first clue ..when you are almost gagging down the first couple of drinks before you are on your way to yet another drunken night. Glad those days are gone...insanity..pure insanity. Welcome to SR!!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
welcome smerus and congratulations on 8 days! I never thought I'd let myself drink too much or too often either. It always just seemed that having one more was a good idea at the time. When you have enough "one more's" it will eventually take you down.
Sounds like you're on your way to a new year and a new life. I work at home also, and I lost quite a few mornings due to hangovers. Glad that's behind me now!
Sounds like you're on your way to a new year and a new life. I work at home also, and I lost quite a few mornings due to hangovers. Glad that's behind me now!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad you shared your progress with us...
"Under The Influence" is the book that convinced me to finally quit.
I too think it has excellent information....includeing the eating plan.
"Under The Influence" is the book that convinced me to finally quit.
I too think it has excellent information....includeing the eating plan.
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