stephanie119

Hi all! Just starting day 3, and I have really appreciated all of the support I have received from site members. It was great to wake up today and realize that I had not had anything to drink the night before. I am still so lethargic. Feel like I could sleep forever...not that the kids would let me! Is this fatigue a normal part of the process? I am struggling a bit with the concept of never being able to have a glass of wine again...especially socially. But I remind myself to take it one day at a time. I also tell myself that I do not have a "no drinking" sentence. I am free to drink at any time. It is a choice to not drink...and one that carries with it many rewards. But it can be a challenge to not feel like the "disordered, sick" person who can't do normal things. So far, so good though. It is interesting...before reading posts on this site and going to an AA meeting, I wasn't familiar with the "obsession" of alcohol. I didn't know what that meant. I think I get it now. I feel myself obsessing about wine...obsessing about the idea of never having a glass again...and I'm not even craving it or wanting it! I haven't had any real desires, but I do find the thoughts obsessive...crazy!

SSIL75

Hi Stephanie! The obsession is normal, IME as is the exhaustion. You probably haven't had a good nights sleep in years. With sleep your body will heal and you'll get your energy back. I slept and slept and slept when I first quit. 9, 10 hours a night for weeks and weeks.

Rational Recovery's AVRT is very helpful to me with the obsessions (I an not in AA). Identifying that 'alcoholic voice' (that's the obsession!) and just letting it go. It's not real, it's just that addictive voice. I try to render it neutral and of course, it's powerless without your picking up a drink

The whole never/not-even-when-socializing thing people handle in various ways. For me, one day at a time is not helpful. It kept me nervous. For me really accepting forever brought me relief and let me get on with my life. For other people that's overwhelming. So really just try on a few approaches and see what fits.

Also I try to remember that if I was a normal drinker I wouldn't have fought so hard to keep alcohol in my life. Ever meet those people who drink too much and then don't drink for months because of the memory of the hangover? Or they sometimes get a coke because they don't feel like drinking? That's a normal reaction to alcohol. Not for me

Hang in there. The first few weeks can be an emotional minefield!

Orkney

Stick with it Stephanie!
day 15 for me, found the first week really tough but it got better as the days passed.
Tiredness was also a big factor, but a different kind of tiredness to the lethargy that was permanently caused by alcohol.
Some of what i've read about the terrible physical effects long term drinking has on the body seem to suggest one thing.
That once free of booze the body has a lot of healing to do & that means tiredness & sleep.
Makes perfecr sense really - when you have e.g. Flu your body is fighting a battle against the virus & healing itself, and it's doing a massive healing job right now.
If possible dont fight sleep if your body says you need it.
Think day 3 was about the worse for me and youve done so well so far just hang in there!

doggonecarl

This was the one big hurdle I had to get over to succeed in my recovery. The idea of being sober forever. It seems like an impossible concept. But as I started thinking about my past drinking, about the constant "obsessing" to return to drinking, I realized that I wasn't a normal drinker, and if I drank, I wasn't going to drink like a normal person. Social drinkers, Steph, don't constantly think about that next drink. And if I was to return to drinking there would be nothing social about it.

Let me ask you, is there anything in your recent past that supports social drinking? And by that I mean ONE glass of wine.

When I think about drinking, and for me it was beer, I don't think about a single frosty mug with pizza. I think about getting drunk. I don't interpret that as social drinking. Therefore, I can't drink...FOREVER!

SSIL75

So true.

I was at a get together at a friend's house recently. There were maybe 12 women (mothers group) there. About say 5 people had a glass of wine. Most didn't even fill the glass up to the rim like I used to And not everyone finished it. does.not.compute. I have never and will never drink like that.

least

So true... I never drank 'socially' but drank to get numb, to forget. Your obsessive thoughts are just that: thoughts, not demands. Your fatigue is common in early recovery. It will pass and your energy will come back. THis is just a blip on the radar, don't let it throw you off the road to recovery.

Ghostly

The exhaustion is normal. You're body is adjusting to life without the poison. I felt it for probably a couple weeks. You're doin great. Hang in there. Congrats on day 3.

AmericanGirl

These are the roughest hours, stephanie -- or were for me at least. Hang in there!

I can't lie -- as much as I hated drinking at the end, and all it was doing to me, I still wept at the thought of "never again." for me, I had to focus on getting through day by day to keep myself from getting overwhelmed, and eventually I was able to re-imagine my future in a way that did not involve alcohol. Now I can see it

Dee74

Hang in there Stephanie - first days are the hardest days...but you're not alone

D

CarolD

Forward is the correct direction....Yes! we can and do recover

I often wonder where the idea that drinking alcohol was normal?
My guess is we got sold that idea by those who
make money by provideing an addictive toxic liquid
Just musing around.....I

Reubena

Hi Stephanie,

You're doing great! Just keep taking it one day at a time. It does get easier over time. I focused on the good (like no hangovers, headaches, embarrassments, able to take care of the kids in an emergency at night, able to drive at night, etc, etc) when I had cravings or was mourning wine.

I was a scatterbrained mess for the first 6 weeks of sobriety. Could not complete simple tasks without "interrupting" myself. Was very tired, too.

Life now is more serene for me. Hang in there, I hope you'll find that, too.

artsoul

Like Ruebena said, one day at a time. I have to remember to keep my stress at a minimum, even after almost 8 months. My energy level is back - it was a slow return (took several months), but it did get better each week and I had some really great days even during those early months.

Same for the obsession. I still think about alcohol, but it doesn't trip me up - I just switch those thoughts over to thinking about sobriety. Keep up the good work!:day6

stephanie119

You are so right about the "normal drinking" thing. I was talking to my cousin once, who is a recovering alcoholic, and she said to me, "a normal drinker says...'oh, I'm starting to feel the effects of this drink...I better slow down', while a problem drinker says, 'oh, I'm starting to feel the effects of this drink..I better order another'." I knew I was the latter! Thanks for all of your support!