Had to see for myself i guess
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Great White North
Posts: 212
Had to see for myself i guess
hey.
so when i first started coming here i was doing really good, then slipped up..then continued to do so time after time of getting together about 4-5 days each time, then i would drink again.
even after reading all the posts here about everyone else that has tried to moderate and i never worked, for some reason i thought i would be the one that could do it successfully. ive come to finally realize, that is not going to happen.
after a couple days i start to feel 'cured' and think, hey, i can pick up a bottle of wine after work and THIS time im going to just sip it, and enjoy it, and only have a couple glasses. that never happens and i end up back where i started. i am so sick of this cycle i continue to play on.
this time im finally surendering myself and have completely within realized i cannot have even one.
going to do some things differently this time.
i have started reading the big book and am going to for real look into the local AAs around here. not sure if it will be for me, but atleast ill be taking a step in the right direction.
today im back on my day one....again lol and am going to go stay at my parents house for a couple of days. seriously considering moving back in with them for a bit too.
just wanted to check in.
Marilyn
so when i first started coming here i was doing really good, then slipped up..then continued to do so time after time of getting together about 4-5 days each time, then i would drink again.
even after reading all the posts here about everyone else that has tried to moderate and i never worked, for some reason i thought i would be the one that could do it successfully. ive come to finally realize, that is not going to happen.
after a couple days i start to feel 'cured' and think, hey, i can pick up a bottle of wine after work and THIS time im going to just sip it, and enjoy it, and only have a couple glasses. that never happens and i end up back where i started. i am so sick of this cycle i continue to play on.
this time im finally surendering myself and have completely within realized i cannot have even one.
going to do some things differently this time.
i have started reading the big book and am going to for real look into the local AAs around here. not sure if it will be for me, but atleast ill be taking a step in the right direction.
today im back on my day one....again lol and am going to go stay at my parents house for a couple of days. seriously considering moving back in with them for a bit too.
just wanted to check in.
Marilyn
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
Hello,
I can relate. I've been through that cycle so many times I couldn't possibly count tem.
I joined here three years ago at sr, and am just coming up on a year sober. That's how many relapses it took.
That 3rd or 4th day was always a killer for me. I felt better. Could moderate. Would control it this time. uh uh. I can't drink, plain and simple.
Do try AA, you've got nothing to lose.
Best to you!
I can relate. I've been through that cycle so many times I couldn't possibly count tem.
I joined here three years ago at sr, and am just coming up on a year sober. That's how many relapses it took.
That 3rd or 4th day was always a killer for me. I felt better. Could moderate. Would control it this time. uh uh. I can't drink, plain and simple.
Do try AA, you've got nothing to lose.
Best to you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Welcome back!
I tried everything under the sun to control my drinking and always failed. I finally tried AA, got a sponsor and worked the steps and I have been sober since. Having a recovery program makes things so much easier.
I tried everything under the sun to control my drinking and always failed. I finally tried AA, got a sponsor and worked the steps and I have been sober since. Having a recovery program makes things so much easier.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California, USA
Posts: 51
Welcome vanilla! I am day 11. Lots of great people on the class of December boards and under 2 weeks. I have had to stay home a lot lately but it feels better. good luck and keep posting, your story helps. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Great White North
Posts: 212
ive been coming here since september and have already gotten lots of help from people stories and advice. ive been mia for the last couple of weeks though...guilt and not wanting to read stuff lol but im back!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
I would recommend you try AA. Don't just go to one meeting and conclude that you've tried AA. I had to go to several meetings in several different locations before I found a group or two that I was comfortable with. Now those groups are a vital part of my recovery.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I'm glad you're back, trying again. Never give up! Keep trying until you succeed or die cause one of the two will eventually happen. I've been trying for three years to stay sober and just now have one year so you can see I didn't 'get it' right off the bat.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome back Vanilla,
I changed up my scchedule as much as possible the first weeks of sobriety back in April
...(mostly by going to the library so I could read and post here at SR !?! )
Moving in with your folks may be a great idea, ....just to change things up.
Hope you'll find the help here I've experienced the past 8 months. Truly believe it's another facet of recovery in action.
You can do this; ...this time.
I changed up my scchedule as much as possible the first weeks of sobriety back in April
...(mostly by going to the library so I could read and post here at SR !?! )
Moving in with your folks may be a great idea, ....just to change things up.
Hope you'll find the help here I've experienced the past 8 months. Truly believe it's another facet of recovery in action.
You can do this; ...this time.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Boy can I relate to thinking that "this time will be different," and "I'm not like others - I can control my drinking if I just work harder at it."
I suppose I could have tried another 100 times (after the 1000 times I'd already tried and failed), but I finally decided I'd had enough. So glad I did and glad you've decided the same!
Sitting here thinking: I'm not sure if I ever really wanted to be a moderate drinker anyway. I always wanted one more.
Welcome back!
I suppose I could have tried another 100 times (after the 1000 times I'd already tried and failed), but I finally decided I'd had enough. So glad I did and glad you've decided the same!
Sitting here thinking: I'm not sure if I ever really wanted to be a moderate drinker anyway. I always wanted one more.
Welcome back!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Welcome back!
I had 5 years of day 1's and never made it past day 7 so I know what its like:-) found SR on my first ever day 8 and I've been sober since (somewhere north of 5 months now). If moving back with your parents will help go for it! My parents still offer me wine with meals so it wouldn't help me...lol!
Keep posting...we are routing for you!
I had 5 years of day 1's and never made it past day 7 so I know what its like:-) found SR on my first ever day 8 and I've been sober since (somewhere north of 5 months now). If moving back with your parents will help go for it! My parents still offer me wine with meals so it wouldn't help me...lol!
Keep posting...we are routing for you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
don't feel guilty, because this has happened to everyone else too....the good thing is that you realize you need to change what you are doing to get results....you hear that little voice that tries to reason with you about*sipping* wine....I never sip, i just plain guzzle!
(if i went to live with my mother, i would be drinking 24/7)...i post incessantly when i am struggling too.
(if i went to live with my mother, i would be drinking 24/7)...i post incessantly when i am struggling too.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Welcome back, Marilyn!
I'm glad you made it back relatively unscathed, sometimes people go 'back out' and never return to a life of sobriety. I proved to myself time and time again that I couldn't control things, at first it seemed the longer I'd stay sober, the more (in my sick head) I would think I didn't have a 'real' problem. Silliness.. lethal silliness that is.
I drank three weeks after being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and a .568 BAC (I pretty much should have died).. three freakin' weeks. It's madness. It took me a while to wrap my head around the 'sober forever' thing, but boy once I did, and accepted it, my sobriety stayed intact and my life has flourished with blessings, health, and happiness. I wish that for you!!
So happy you're here
I'm glad you made it back relatively unscathed, sometimes people go 'back out' and never return to a life of sobriety. I proved to myself time and time again that I couldn't control things, at first it seemed the longer I'd stay sober, the more (in my sick head) I would think I didn't have a 'real' problem. Silliness.. lethal silliness that is.
I drank three weeks after being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and a .568 BAC (I pretty much should have died).. three freakin' weeks. It's madness. It took me a while to wrap my head around the 'sober forever' thing, but boy once I did, and accepted it, my sobriety stayed intact and my life has flourished with blessings, health, and happiness. I wish that for you!!
So happy you're here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Great White North
Posts: 212
thanks everyone for all the posts! it helps reading them.
im on day two and was feeling good...yesterday. lol now i have the flu. FLU flu...not wine flu. lol
....when i left work today *after 3 hours* about 3 ppl asked if i was hungover lol i said no, i dont drink anymore.
im on day two and was feeling good...yesterday. lol now i have the flu. FLU flu...not wine flu. lol
....when i left work today *after 3 hours* about 3 ppl asked if i was hungover lol i said no, i dont drink anymore.
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