A Lifetime in 60 Days
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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A Lifetime in 60 Days
Today, I celebrate 60 days without a drink.
When I wrote that, I just had to pause and reflect on how much that single, simple, and short sentence means to both me and the people close to me. That sentence represents everything I wanted to be in my last six years of heavy binge drinking but never thought I could be. It represents the end of a slow and deliberate suicide and the start of a new life with truly limitless possibilities. It represents the power of hundreds and possibly thousands of prayers for the recovering alcoholic/addict from people I know and people I don’t. Although, I’ve stayed quit so far without a formal program – I dare not say I did it alone. God, my family and friends (that includes you SR – you’re not getting away that easily!), and the wisdom, the kindness, and the patience of the recovered alcoholics/addicts that have transcended time and space and have been graciously made available to me. I am honored and humbled to have you in my life.
The following are some of my key learnings in the previous 60 days. I wasn’t going to include these as they were going to be for my personal journey but I thought that they may give hope and strength to those people out there that are still struggling and, like me, never thought it was possible to get and stay sober for more than 2-4 weeks (most times for me it was just a few days).
The following are some of the reminders I wrote to myself and thought I would share:
1. It’s a daily struggle but the struggle is not every day. At the beginning it was a struggle every day, sometimes every minute. The first 30 days were definitely the most difficult and you will be tested constantly, you will have what seem like sound reasons to drink, and you will experience emotions that are uncomfortable because they have not been properly addressed. With time you will also experience joy, love, strength, self-confidence, and freedom (to name just a few). “You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.”
2. It does get better with time. It’s true…even though it may not seem like it in the first 30 days. Eventually the constant tidal waves of commands telling you to drink become the whispered suggestions of a tepid river. The wreckage of your past gives you a small piece of yourself back every day that you are victorious in the present. There will be challenges, to be sure, and you must be aware of that but you will recognize and, more importantly, have the experience and knowledge to deal with those challenges. “Time heals all wounds and is the greatest of all teachers.”
3. You are stronger than you think. Even in your darkest time, you still have light and where there is light, darkness does not exist – it’s an illusion of the mind. Your strength is limited only by your belief in that strength and your belief if limited by your experiences. If you change your experiences you will change your belief and, in turn, change your strength. Action/Inaction can be your biggest ally or most fearsome foe. Choose the right actions/inactions and the right experiences follow, conversely choose the wrong actions/inactions and the wrong experiences follow. “Change one thing, change everything.”
4. Trust the recovered. When I decided to finally get and stay sober, it was a leap of blind faith for me and at a time when I didn’t have faith in much. I had originally told myself I would stay sober for 30 days. Then, remembering the words of the recovered, I decided to give it more time to see if it did get better, if it did get easier, and if it was worth it. I made my goal 60 days and there are light years of difference between my sober mind at 30 days and my sober mind at 60 days. So much so, that I want another 30 days under my belt to grow, learn, mature, and finally live. The recovered are an oasis of knowledge in the desert of addiction. Listen to them, learn from them, and trust them. “It’s simple, but not easy.”
5. The bias was my own. Some folks believe in God, some don’t. Some folks swear by AA, some don’t. Regardless of what recovering program or lack thereof worked for someone, they recovered and I did not. I found myself making excuses because said person didn’t follow my preset belief system. I found myself making excuses because said person followed my belief system but was too much of a Pollyanna regarding their program. I can now see that the bias was my own. The message of hope and help is always there if you can get past the cosmetics of that message. “Choose the path of least resistance to your sobriety.”
6. Perception is worse than reality. This Thanksgiving, I was terrified to see my family because everyone knew that I drank too much and that I had experienced many of the consequences from such behavior. I thought I would be judged and persecuted by them…instead, I was loved and welcomed. My mind was my worst enemy (some things never change). Keep in mind, as time goes by and your self-love increases you will be less affected by those folks who don’t approve of you or your past. Eventually you come to realize that other people don’t have the power to judge you. “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
I've lived more life in the last 60 days than in the last six years.
Today, I celebrate 60 days without a drink.
The only thing that really matters from one day to the next in that sentence is this…
Today, I celebrate.
Thanks for allowing me to celebrate everyday with you SR.
When I wrote that, I just had to pause and reflect on how much that single, simple, and short sentence means to both me and the people close to me. That sentence represents everything I wanted to be in my last six years of heavy binge drinking but never thought I could be. It represents the end of a slow and deliberate suicide and the start of a new life with truly limitless possibilities. It represents the power of hundreds and possibly thousands of prayers for the recovering alcoholic/addict from people I know and people I don’t. Although, I’ve stayed quit so far without a formal program – I dare not say I did it alone. God, my family and friends (that includes you SR – you’re not getting away that easily!), and the wisdom, the kindness, and the patience of the recovered alcoholics/addicts that have transcended time and space and have been graciously made available to me. I am honored and humbled to have you in my life.
The following are some of my key learnings in the previous 60 days. I wasn’t going to include these as they were going to be for my personal journey but I thought that they may give hope and strength to those people out there that are still struggling and, like me, never thought it was possible to get and stay sober for more than 2-4 weeks (most times for me it was just a few days).
The following are some of the reminders I wrote to myself and thought I would share:
1. It’s a daily struggle but the struggle is not every day. At the beginning it was a struggle every day, sometimes every minute. The first 30 days were definitely the most difficult and you will be tested constantly, you will have what seem like sound reasons to drink, and you will experience emotions that are uncomfortable because they have not been properly addressed. With time you will also experience joy, love, strength, self-confidence, and freedom (to name just a few). “You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.”
2. It does get better with time. It’s true…even though it may not seem like it in the first 30 days. Eventually the constant tidal waves of commands telling you to drink become the whispered suggestions of a tepid river. The wreckage of your past gives you a small piece of yourself back every day that you are victorious in the present. There will be challenges, to be sure, and you must be aware of that but you will recognize and, more importantly, have the experience and knowledge to deal with those challenges. “Time heals all wounds and is the greatest of all teachers.”
3. You are stronger than you think. Even in your darkest time, you still have light and where there is light, darkness does not exist – it’s an illusion of the mind. Your strength is limited only by your belief in that strength and your belief if limited by your experiences. If you change your experiences you will change your belief and, in turn, change your strength. Action/Inaction can be your biggest ally or most fearsome foe. Choose the right actions/inactions and the right experiences follow, conversely choose the wrong actions/inactions and the wrong experiences follow. “Change one thing, change everything.”
4. Trust the recovered. When I decided to finally get and stay sober, it was a leap of blind faith for me and at a time when I didn’t have faith in much. I had originally told myself I would stay sober for 30 days. Then, remembering the words of the recovered, I decided to give it more time to see if it did get better, if it did get easier, and if it was worth it. I made my goal 60 days and there are light years of difference between my sober mind at 30 days and my sober mind at 60 days. So much so, that I want another 30 days under my belt to grow, learn, mature, and finally live. The recovered are an oasis of knowledge in the desert of addiction. Listen to them, learn from them, and trust them. “It’s simple, but not easy.”
5. The bias was my own. Some folks believe in God, some don’t. Some folks swear by AA, some don’t. Regardless of what recovering program or lack thereof worked for someone, they recovered and I did not. I found myself making excuses because said person didn’t follow my preset belief system. I found myself making excuses because said person followed my belief system but was too much of a Pollyanna regarding their program. I can now see that the bias was my own. The message of hope and help is always there if you can get past the cosmetics of that message. “Choose the path of least resistance to your sobriety.”
6. Perception is worse than reality. This Thanksgiving, I was terrified to see my family because everyone knew that I drank too much and that I had experienced many of the consequences from such behavior. I thought I would be judged and persecuted by them…instead, I was loved and welcomed. My mind was my worst enemy (some things never change). Keep in mind, as time goes by and your self-love increases you will be less affected by those folks who don’t approve of you or your past. Eventually you come to realize that other people don’t have the power to judge you. “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
I've lived more life in the last 60 days than in the last six years.
Today, I celebrate 60 days without a drink.
The only thing that really matters from one day to the next in that sentence is this…
Today, I celebrate.
Thanks for allowing me to celebrate everyday with you SR.
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