New here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 6
New here
I'm very happy I stumbled upon this forum.
I am a 33 years old and have been dealing with my inability to control my drinking for a long time now, too long. I have decided that I need to take steps to fix this in my life.
While I do not drink every night, mostly on the weekends, when I do drink it is in excess. It is like this switch goes off and I go overboard, which results in more often than not, a complete blackout. I then suffer from guilt, depression and shame for days afterwords. Yet again, this past Saturday, I went overboard, despite the fact those were not my intentions, and I have no recollection of most of the night. Although I know nothing terrible happened (I was with others who remember everything) I can't take this anymore, and I realize I have a problem.
I am not proud of the many things I've done in the past. Things I've heard about and have no recollection of. It makes me sick to my stomach. So why do I continue to do this to myself? I realize I need to take control back and not let the alcohol win. I've been lucky that nothing that has transpired has completely ruined my life and alienated my husband, family and friends (although it has been close with my husband).
I have absolute support from my husband and my mother. I know the situations I need to avoid (particular places, certain friends). I know most of my friends will be 100% supportive, and the ones that are not, well that is their problem.
So I guess I spilled enough, thanks for reading. I'm going to lurk around some more and participate and I hope that I can beat this issue once and for all.
I am a 33 years old and have been dealing with my inability to control my drinking for a long time now, too long. I have decided that I need to take steps to fix this in my life.
While I do not drink every night, mostly on the weekends, when I do drink it is in excess. It is like this switch goes off and I go overboard, which results in more often than not, a complete blackout. I then suffer from guilt, depression and shame for days afterwords. Yet again, this past Saturday, I went overboard, despite the fact those were not my intentions, and I have no recollection of most of the night. Although I know nothing terrible happened (I was with others who remember everything) I can't take this anymore, and I realize I have a problem.
I am not proud of the many things I've done in the past. Things I've heard about and have no recollection of. It makes me sick to my stomach. So why do I continue to do this to myself? I realize I need to take control back and not let the alcohol win. I've been lucky that nothing that has transpired has completely ruined my life and alienated my husband, family and friends (although it has been close with my husband).
I have absolute support from my husband and my mother. I know the situations I need to avoid (particular places, certain friends). I know most of my friends will be 100% supportive, and the ones that are not, well that is their problem.
So I guess I spilled enough, thanks for reading. I'm going to lurk around some more and participate and I hope that I can beat this issue once and for all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: san fernando valley, CA
Posts: 183
You are not alone here. We all have felt exactly as you do. The shame, guilt, embarressment, yes we know exactly how you feel. I am new to sobriety. So I don't have much advice, I just want you to know you are in the right place and we feel you. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: S.Central PA
Posts: 63
First off welcome to SR.
I too was in your shoes not even two months ago. I was a binge drinker (mostly weekends) that just couldn't control my drinking. A few beers or drinks and I was off to the races, even though I tried all of the half-measures not to get that way. I never really lost anything, or so I thought, I own my own home, own a business, 3 cars, nice neighborhood, financially secure, great family, supporting wife....etc.
I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I actually talked with a friend who I knew was a recovering alcoholic and had 24 years sober. I laid it all out on the line with him, and it was the greatest thing I have done in the last 10 years. He encouraged me to attend AA and there I found a great man (now my sponsor) who explained the root of all my problems....
I am an alcoholic and that I can not drink like normal people. The alcoholic thing was easy to understand, but the fact that I can't drink like normal people took alot of thought. Upon finally accepting that fact, I decided to try the AA program and see what it was truly about. My sponsor explained that the easy part is to get physically sober takes about 4 days +/-. What I find that AA is doing for me is getting me mentally sober, and teaching me to live a life with drinking, blackouts, problems, etc.
Although I may not have as much sobriety as alot of other folks, I can tell you I feel better about myself than I have in 20 years.
Sorry for rambling.... I hope this helps.
Good Luck
I too was in your shoes not even two months ago. I was a binge drinker (mostly weekends) that just couldn't control my drinking. A few beers or drinks and I was off to the races, even though I tried all of the half-measures not to get that way. I never really lost anything, or so I thought, I own my own home, own a business, 3 cars, nice neighborhood, financially secure, great family, supporting wife....etc.
I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I actually talked with a friend who I knew was a recovering alcoholic and had 24 years sober. I laid it all out on the line with him, and it was the greatest thing I have done in the last 10 years. He encouraged me to attend AA and there I found a great man (now my sponsor) who explained the root of all my problems....
I am an alcoholic and that I can not drink like normal people. The alcoholic thing was easy to understand, but the fact that I can't drink like normal people took alot of thought. Upon finally accepting that fact, I decided to try the AA program and see what it was truly about. My sponsor explained that the easy part is to get physically sober takes about 4 days +/-. What I find that AA is doing for me is getting me mentally sober, and teaching me to live a life with drinking, blackouts, problems, etc.
Although I may not have as much sobriety as alot of other folks, I can tell you I feel better about myself than I have in 20 years.
Sorry for rambling.... I hope this helps.
Good Luck
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
Welcome to the family!
It's good that you want to stop this before it gets worse... and it WILL get worse, it always gets worse. Blackouts are a bad sign and you're blessed that nothing bad has happened to you while you were blacked out. I'm glad you found us.
It's good that you want to stop this before it gets worse... and it WILL get worse, it always gets worse. Blackouts are a bad sign and you're blessed that nothing bad has happened to you while you were blacked out. I'm glad you found us. 
AAudrey
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Stamford, CT
Posts: 209
If, when you take a drink, and find you cannot stop, you are probably alcoholic.
I found AA really helped me a lot. I raised my hand at the end of the meeting and asked for help. I got so many phone numbers and the help that I needed. It was that simple. Wednesday I will have two years! Was told to join a group, get a sponsor! So, if you are as desparate as I was, well then! Learn about the condition of your condition. Only in AA!
Congratulations on your decision! Best wishes to you! Feel free to email me anytime if you need any help!
Blessings,
I found AA really helped me a lot. I raised my hand at the end of the meeting and asked for help. I got so many phone numbers and the help that I needed. It was that simple. Wednesday I will have two years! Was told to join a group, get a sponsor! So, if you are as desparate as I was, well then! Learn about the condition of your condition. Only in AA!
Congratulations on your decision! Best wishes to you! Feel free to email me anytime if you need any help!
Blessings,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 150
I'm also 33 and things have been BAD for me. I wish you all the support in the world. I called a drug and alcohol line recently and the woman who I spoke with said she had noticed something about 33 being a point where things change (I think she meant for the worse because she went on to say it's not the same as when you're in your 20s). If that is the case, then I'm textbook! I am looking for a change for the better now and I hope you can find one, too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 6
Thank you everyone. It really helps to know I'm not alone in how I feel. I have been flooded with so much anxiety today and it's almost a surreal feeling but this is what I need to do. Thank you for the support.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you've decided to join us, BfloChick! The first few days do seem surreal, but give it time (and just take it one day at a time). We're all here for you, so stick around and keep reading and posting.
You can do this - so hang in there!
You can do this - so hang in there!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
