Clearhead

Hey all!

I just wanted to say that I wish I was a "normal" person who could let loose every now and then. I know, for me, where and what it leads to if I were to take that 1st drink. I just had to get that off my chest. I've been getting these cravings of wanting to hang with my friends and just let loose like old times and be silly. It just sucks sometimes, knowing I blew that chance and can't drink like others can. Is it OK to just say "this sucks" every now and then? I'm not letting my "squirrel brain" convince me of anything, but it still sucks sometimes LOL.

Thanks for reading my rant.

Anna

I think it's fine to mourn the loss of alcohol in your life.

However, I truly don't miss drinking or anything associated with drinking.

The addiction was going to kill me, and I am so grateful that I have a chance to live a normal and peaceful life.

firestorm090

Don't see any problem with admitting the truth, and yea, sometimes it sux.

Normal, now that's different because I have yet to meet someone who's perfectly normal, lol.

Kmber2010

Clear, I found that to come with the acceptance. As I furthered along and got a good grip in my recovery I began to see how much work I put into something that was toxic for me.

I sure don't miss it and am so grateful to be able to live a good life again. Drinking for me was never healthy and now I feel tons better without it.

You are doing great!

eremc08

While there is no realistic "normal" ... I would like to say that I wish I were a "non-drinker" .. someone who doesn't think about their next drink, or the fact that they have to try to not drink at all. That would be content enough for me. My husband can drink one night like 2-3 beers and then nothing for months at a time.. that's how I wish I were. He just doesn't care for the drink. It doesn't bother him, nor does it run his life. He can live life and be fine with it .. sober. ..

I want that.

least

I'm not sure what 'normal' really is, but when it comes to drinking I fully accept that I'm not normal and that I can never drink again. It used to bother me but doesn't anymore as I no longer want to drink.

viavai

I think it's perfectly fine to vent your frustration, and I feel your pain. I had 4 years sober and then relapsed and am now on day 8. Somedays, some times, the cravings are incredible, but posts like yours remind me that I am not alone. I DO miss drinking at this point in my very early re-recovery, because I miss the escape. It's hard to sit with my feelings--very hard--but I'm just trying to keep it in the day, even if that means counting hours.

And whether you know it or not, your candor is refreshing. No, sorry, but you and I can't drink... AT ALL. It only leads to terrible consequences, the worst being the blow to self-esteem and self-concept. Right now, I'm turning it over, That's the best I can do.

SSIL75

My view of 'normal' is changing. I used to want to be 'normal' like go out and drink only on the weekends. But now I'm realizing that normal people don't get drunk that frequently (at least not my peers. mid 30's with kids). And when I socialize I see a number of people barely drink at all. Totally normal people just hanging out and nursing a beer all night.

I think a lot of who I thought were 'normal' are really alcohol dependant.

What I REALLY wanted was to continue to get drunk all the time with no real consequences But that's not normal...

In sobriety (a mere 10 weeks) I'm finding happiness and peace where I never thought I'd find it.

I'm starting to feel normal.

LexieCat

I don't think you're a normal alcoholic if you don't occasionally wish you weren't. OTOH, I have learned a lot about myself, and am learning more every day, and I doubt this sort of self-examination would be something I'd undertake if I didn't have to. So, to that extent, I think I will be better off, in the long run, than if I didn't have this issue in my life.

*shrug*

It really is sort of irrelevant what I wish for, because it is what it is. I wish I had 20/20 vision, too, but I can barely see without glasses.

There are a lot worse tragedies in life than not being able to drink.

Dee74

Yeah it's normal - but I'm one of the ones who no longer wishes that.
Alcohol, and my alcoholism, caused me and those I love a lot of pain...it nearly killed me.

I don't know why I'd want to have it in my life, even if I could

D

Itchy

Once you learn that you can let loose and have a blast sober and do that, you won't miss drunken parties. See that was a weak substitute for me for the really fun ways to let loose. Try scuba diving, skydiving, downhill ski, water ski, learn to play a musical instrument and then get good enough to be on stage sober. BY the way I played back before I started drinking, but when we played if one of the band members was drinking or smoking pot, they thought they sounded great and were terrible.

You are just going through a transition. Same as growing up getting a job and moving out of your parent's house, dealing with your own life schedule, activities, deccisions and challenges. There are many that don't want to grow up and cling to the old crowd. For those of us who did, and moved away, or joined the military, or went to college, when we came back for a visit things were never the same. Some of my old friends were still there, doing the same things we did at 15 years old through 18, and they recognized that we were changed as well.

We yearn for the good old high school days when things were simple and fun. We conveniently forget the scary/bad/embarrasing times and dwell on how much fun we had.

Quitting drinking is similar transition. We do have to leave behind some friends, and make new ones as we progress through life. Oh sure we might say hi. Or even give them a few bucks if they are in the gutter. Or drive them home. But moving in reverse is not an option for that want to get something out of this life that is less toxic and painful.

See some of us got left behind by others when we became alcoholics little by little. Some of us may have even tried to talk some of them into being as self destructive as we were at the time.

I know many will say but I haven't the money to da any stuff like that! I used to smoke 3 packs of smokes a day and out away a case of beer and other drinks every day. Now that I quit both I have a surplus of money that can go to other things right? Sure gotta save and plan, then can!

There are millions of ways to have a blast with being under the influence. I just named a few that the alcohol money might open up.

Yes, we can.

Spawn

do you have sober friends? and how do they let loose?