My broken heart
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
My broken heart
How could I not see it? Was I really that blind all this time? I've been in love with an addict for almost 3 years now. He swept me off my feet and is the most amazing person in my whole life. I have always known that he smoked weed and is an alcoholic. It never was a real problem for me. Hes normally a happy drunk and the weed relaxes him. I also know he hangs out with heavier drug addicts than him and occasionally uses cocaine.
This past couple weeks have been different. A couple months ago, he had a heart attack at 37. The doctor put him on antidepressants, beta blockers and cholesteral medication. he stopped taking the cholesteral stuff 2 mnths ago cuz he coldn't afford it. 2 weeks ago he told me he was going to stop taking the antidepressants. He didn't want to be on them anymore. I urged him to see a doctor to no avail, though he did quit taking them slowly like i begged him to. Alot has been going on in our lives lately and hes been very stressed. This wasn't a good time for him go off his medication. Hes been needy, claiming i don't spend enough time with him, (I have 2 teenagers, I'm in college full time and looking for a job and a place to live cuz i can't afford my place anymore) I also lost 2 friends in a bad fire 2 weeks ago. He started hanging out with those troublemaking friends again, and last night he got real drunk with them.
This morning he turned on me. Hes never been physically violent, though there has been some control issues and I can totally realate to the "walking on eggshells" at times. Simply to avoid the fight. this time there was no avoiding it. He accused me of screwing around with my 17 year old daughters 19 year old boyfriend. He was viciously nasty and broke up with me. I'm devistated, How do I get through this? Where do I go? Who do I talk to? I can't stop crying.
This past couple weeks have been different. A couple months ago, he had a heart attack at 37. The doctor put him on antidepressants, beta blockers and cholesteral medication. he stopped taking the cholesteral stuff 2 mnths ago cuz he coldn't afford it. 2 weeks ago he told me he was going to stop taking the antidepressants. He didn't want to be on them anymore. I urged him to see a doctor to no avail, though he did quit taking them slowly like i begged him to. Alot has been going on in our lives lately and hes been very stressed. This wasn't a good time for him go off his medication. Hes been needy, claiming i don't spend enough time with him, (I have 2 teenagers, I'm in college full time and looking for a job and a place to live cuz i can't afford my place anymore) I also lost 2 friends in a bad fire 2 weeks ago. He started hanging out with those troublemaking friends again, and last night he got real drunk with them.
This morning he turned on me. Hes never been physically violent, though there has been some control issues and I can totally realate to the "walking on eggshells" at times. Simply to avoid the fight. this time there was no avoiding it. He accused me of screwing around with my 17 year old daughters 19 year old boyfriend. He was viciously nasty and broke up with me. I'm devistated, How do I get through this? Where do I go? Who do I talk to? I can't stop crying.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Welcome,
Sorry you are in such pain right now. Addiction turns the people we love into someone we don't even recognize.
Hope you will check out our Friends and Family forum--you will meet a lot of kindred spirits who will help you get on the path to feeling better.
Sorry you are in such pain right now. Addiction turns the people we love into someone we don't even recognize.
Hope you will check out our Friends and Family forum--you will meet a lot of kindred spirits who will help you get on the path to feeling better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Exactly! I really don't recognise him. I've poured every bit of my heart and soul into this man and I feel like its been ripped out of me. I don't want to make excuses for him, but i have a feeling hes been doing crack again. Its the only thing that makes sense to me about the mood swings like this. Hes not normal. I just don't get what happened or where? Hes been a bit off this past 2 weeks then he just outright flipped on me. I'm absolutely broken hearted and sick over it
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