Lets try this again.
If you keep drinking you won't have that new job you "really like" for long, I'm afraid. Not to mention, you alluded to being dead soon, which would make the employment issue really a moot point, wouldn't you say?
Drinking stops the withdrawal but it feeds the addiction.
Would you be fired for being out sick for three days? A cold or stomach virus could keep a person out that long.
Drinking stops the withdrawal but it feeds the addiction.
Would you be fired for being out sick for three days? A cold or stomach virus could keep a person out that long.
I took the last of my vacation time, and personal time to detox. I'm guessing you don't have any yet. Maybe you could take a Friday off if you have Saturday and Sunday off anyway. Stop drinking Thursday and dry out over three days.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 34
I don't know what to do. I am really good at my job and I really like where I am working right now. We just had a guy call in sick so I have to be there on Monday. I am going to have to take a different route on this one. I have a plan.. but it will be a bit before I can put it in to place. For now I am just going to try and keep my job. My mother has messaged me and she sounds a bit more understanding. She said we will talk later. I just want this to end. It's like the worst catch 22 I have ever faced. Drink and die.. don't drink and die. I know that you guys have been down this road and know what I am saying. I have done this once before and I can do it again but this is the last time. Once I get past this I am never drinking again. I just hope I can actually do it right this time and not listen to the alcoholic side of me. This is so frustrating because I really had this down. At least I have a family that loves me. Some people in my situation don't even have that.
I understand about jobs and responsibilities and families and whatever else - the bottom line tho?
The one thing I found poisoned is I had to make my recovery my #1 priority - above everything else - because everything else I had was at risk if I didn't.
Please act - and act now.
D
The one thing I found poisoned is I had to make my recovery my #1 priority - above everything else - because everything else I had was at risk if I didn't.
Please act - and act now.
D
Poisoned.... I definitely understand your position. And I can understand AA causing you anxiety. Have you heard the sayings that we fear change because we don't know what the change will bring? Anxiety over AA is something I am too familiar with, and yet I am grateful that when I hit my all time low, I had the strength to sit through my first 2 weeks of meetings, crying my eyes out, barely able to say my name through the tears... I hated AA and the way it made me feel. I had entered and exited the rooms since I was 17... I'm now 27. But I did it this time because I was willing to do "what ever it took" to get and stay sober. Now with over 90 days sober, I can talk from experience. And while I know AA is not for everyone I recommend trying. Do 90 meetings in 90 days if you are truly willing to do 'whatever' it takes to stop drinking. It gets easier, and you may hear the same promises I heard from 'old timers' in AA. IF after the 90 in 90 you are not 100% satisfied, we'll refund your misery 100%, no questions asked. It sounds harsh, but I have to laugh at it now. AA saved my life, AA brought God back to me. When I was at a point in my life when I didn't believe in God or want a God in my life. IT truly saved my life, because I was willing to do whatever it took to get sober. I was miserable drinking, and if I ever return to drinking I know what it has to offer. I spent 20 years receiving the gifts of the drinking life, and I would like to return them all... perhaps there's a refund guarantee written in small print of all the bottles I've drank along the way... ( undoubtedly not...) So with the good and the bad days I have in sobriety, I would NEVER again trade them for even one drink. I've been given a gift, a gift I would never return, but that I will pass on to every one else that wants help. And this is my gift to you, TRY, it's all you may have left. Good luck with you sobriety.
I found that I got sober when I put sobriety first. I had to do that above anything else. There never was going to be a perfect time for me nor could I come up with a plan of reducing or moderating. Alcoholism was consuming for me and I guess I knew that nothing in my life was going to improve as long as I kept hitting up that bottle.
Wish you well. You have the drive..you just need to find your way. If I kept putting sobriety on a calendar and trying to find the right day.....I wouldn't be here now that is a guarantee.
We are here for you. So many of us have done this...I know you can.
Wish you well. You have the drive..you just need to find your way. If I kept putting sobriety on a calendar and trying to find the right day.....I wouldn't be here now that is a guarantee.
We are here for you. So many of us have done this...I know you can.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 34
Thank you so much for all of the advise and support. My mother came home and she was amazed that anyone could seem normal after the amount that I have consumed. She is broke and has to support a home full of children. I am the big brother that has kids in another state. I am trying to get there but while I am here I have to help out here as much as I can. I used to make 120k but now I am making 60k and I am just waiting for that first paycheck so I can help my mom. If I fail at life again; it effects more than just me. I have a plan but I can't post it here.
Even after all this, I still want to go get more. I won't because I am ok but the fact that I am considering even driving is scary. You guys know what I am talking about.
I have to figure this out. Wish me luck as this week is going to be hard. I have to try and be strong and smart. I have to stay alive and make it through this week. I caused this with my malfunctioned way of thinking but now that I am aware of it I am going to have to be self aware.
Even after all this, I still want to go get more. I won't because I am ok but the fact that I am considering even driving is scary. You guys know what I am talking about.
I have to figure this out. Wish me luck as this week is going to be hard. I have to try and be strong and smart. I have to stay alive and make it through this week. I caused this with my malfunctioned way of thinking but now that I am aware of it I am going to have to be self aware.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 34
I went to the doctor today and told him about my plan to detox this weekend. He told me to go to the hospital. He also have me a prescription of gatoraid and anti-biotics. The last time I went to the hospital they gave me Ativan and and librium and sent me home. That cost me over 1000.00. They did a urine test and said that I am fine. I am not fine! I need help but can't go to the hospital. I am drinking Vodka by the bottle just to stop shaking. My hands are numb and I don't know what to do. Should I just say screw it and go to the hospital? Keep in mind that I don't have insurance and they don't want to help you without it.
Go to the hospital. You can work out the bill later--this is your LIFE we are talking about!
If you go to the ER and tell them your hands are numb I'm pretty sure they will have to take you in.
If you go to the ER and tell them your hands are numb I'm pretty sure they will have to take you in.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 34
I lost my job yesterday and I am pretty sure that my family knows that I blacked out from a fifth of vodka last night. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist today. This sucks, i am putting my whole family through so much crap. Yesterday they caught me checking in at a hotel room. I think I was going to end myself there. I plan to home detox this weekend and I am hoping that the psychiatrist will give me the meds that I need to do it.
I did the hospital thing before and they gave me ativan and a small prescription for Librium. I don't know what else to do. I really want to stop. My family is scared. My doctor looks at me as a lost cause and i am hopping that the psychiatrist will have a better outlook.
I can't afford it but what good is a car, cell phone, etc. if you are dead?
I really need help and if anyone has any suggestions I need them now. Please someone help me.
I did the hospital thing before and they gave me ativan and a small prescription for Librium. I don't know what else to do. I really want to stop. My family is scared. My doctor looks at me as a lost cause and i am hopping that the psychiatrist will have a better outlook.
I can't afford it but what good is a car, cell phone, etc. if you are dead?
I really need help and if anyone has any suggestions I need them now. Please someone help me.
Hi poisoned
please do reach out and seek help - talk to someone - don't wait. It's not normal behaviour to check into hotel rooms to do harm to yourself.
Here's a lot of links and numbers - please do read them
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
and remember you can always call 911 if you're worried or concerned for your safety or well being.
D
please do reach out and seek help - talk to someone - don't wait. It's not normal behaviour to check into hotel rooms to do harm to yourself.
Here's a lot of links and numbers - please do read them
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
and remember you can always call 911 if you're worried or concerned for your safety or well being.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 10-22-2010 at 04:47 PM. Reason: typo
Poisoned, I have to say I think you really need to get your priorities straight.
You wanted to put off detox because of the new job you loved. Now the job is gone, because you were drinking. You want to help your family, but you are causing problems for them. Please focus on getting sober. Go to the hospital and do what your dr said.
You wanted to put off detox because of the new job you loved. Now the job is gone, because you were drinking. You want to help your family, but you are causing problems for them. Please focus on getting sober. Go to the hospital and do what your dr said.
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I promise you that if you tell them what you told us about going to a hotel room to commit suicide while you were in a blackout..they will not just give you a sedative and send you home.
You can get help there.
oh, I notice that was this morning...very good chance that the Pdoc admitted him?!
You can get help there.
oh, I notice that was this morning...very good chance that the Pdoc admitted him?!
Poisoned:
I get the impression that a great many folks (including myself) on this website have been through just what you're going through right now. I know that at times I have felt completely without hope. It's up to everyone to find his or her own path back to happiness but it's there and you can find it. What it takes is guts, determination, considerable humility, persistence and above all, help from others, such as your doctor, to whom you have everything to gain by being entirely candid and everything to lose by not being so, support groups such as AA or other organizations which provide fellowship and discussion (including this website). You can do this. Get back to us and let us know how you are coming along. It's probably going to be tough to start with but it gets better and having people to talk to helps a lot. Your first job is to get all the alcohol and other stuff out of your system and put in there only what the doctor recommends. Your body isn't going to like that and you'll be uncomfortable but things will change if you hang in there. Like breaking in a new horse. It will be a rough ride but things will settle down and you'll be on your way back to controlling things. But watch that new horse carefully or it may spook and throw you into a relapse. Get a counselor and/or sponsor and be with a group. Do this together. It works!
W.
I get the impression that a great many folks (including myself) on this website have been through just what you're going through right now. I know that at times I have felt completely without hope. It's up to everyone to find his or her own path back to happiness but it's there and you can find it. What it takes is guts, determination, considerable humility, persistence and above all, help from others, such as your doctor, to whom you have everything to gain by being entirely candid and everything to lose by not being so, support groups such as AA or other organizations which provide fellowship and discussion (including this website). You can do this. Get back to us and let us know how you are coming along. It's probably going to be tough to start with but it gets better and having people to talk to helps a lot. Your first job is to get all the alcohol and other stuff out of your system and put in there only what the doctor recommends. Your body isn't going to like that and you'll be uncomfortable but things will change if you hang in there. Like breaking in a new horse. It will be a rough ride but things will settle down and you'll be on your way back to controlling things. But watch that new horse carefully or it may spook and throw you into a relapse. Get a counselor and/or sponsor and be with a group. Do this together. It works!
W.
Hi Poisoned!
I do hope you've been admitted by now and things are getting more under control. It seemed that you were really not yourself, what with all that talking about having a "plan", a "weekend" detox, checking into a hotel room, losing your job, blacking out.
I remember when this kind of stuff happened to me many many years ago they would give me what the nurses called a "spin dry", namely a five or six day hospital detox and then release me with prescriptions, hoping to treat me as an outpatient. This never really worked and I didn't get straightened out until I had a 30 day rehab with aftercare and a 90 and 90 with AA. Without that I suppose I could have ended up in jail, injured or killed someone or myself driving, or any number of other things. Luckily it didn't turn out that way and things have been pretty good for me for 22 years now. I hope that you may have the same luck. There seems to be no limit on how hairy the situation can get. For me the only solution was to get my body back to not having anything alcoholic, etc. and to do that I needed the support of a group, not merely 1-1 counseling, particularly when the counselors or doctors did not seem to have the training or experience to deal with this problem effectively. Good luck to you. Keep in touch.
W.
I do hope you've been admitted by now and things are getting more under control. It seemed that you were really not yourself, what with all that talking about having a "plan", a "weekend" detox, checking into a hotel room, losing your job, blacking out.
I remember when this kind of stuff happened to me many many years ago they would give me what the nurses called a "spin dry", namely a five or six day hospital detox and then release me with prescriptions, hoping to treat me as an outpatient. This never really worked and I didn't get straightened out until I had a 30 day rehab with aftercare and a 90 and 90 with AA. Without that I suppose I could have ended up in jail, injured or killed someone or myself driving, or any number of other things. Luckily it didn't turn out that way and things have been pretty good for me for 22 years now. I hope that you may have the same luck. There seems to be no limit on how hairy the situation can get. For me the only solution was to get my body back to not having anything alcoholic, etc. and to do that I needed the support of a group, not merely 1-1 counseling, particularly when the counselors or doctors did not seem to have the training or experience to deal with this problem effectively. Good luck to you. Keep in touch.
W.
Poisoned I wish you well and am hoping you went to the hospital and got the help you need. They will help you. If you haven't gone please do so and be clear about what you are feeling and the thoughts you have.
I am hoping for a positive update my friend. Praying you take that step and get help now.
I am hoping for a positive update my friend. Praying you take that step and get help now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 34
Yesterday I went to a phsyc doctor that specializes in addiction. He recognized that inpatient care is my best option but recognized my financial situation. He gave me the meds that I need and I am on day 2 now. I feel like total crap but I am going to do it right this time with the support of this site and AA. Thank you all so much.
My family is being very supportive and is helping me pay for what they can. The doctor said that do to my upbringing my a marine, I have spent my whole life in fight or flight mode; using alcohol to self medicate. I didn't even tell him that my father was a marine.. he just knew. It seemed that he has seen it before. I want to take Atabuse but I am not sure if it will interact with toothpaste, soap, etc. Any advice?
My family is being very supportive and is helping me pay for what they can. The doctor said that do to my upbringing my a marine, I have spent my whole life in fight or flight mode; using alcohol to self medicate. I didn't even tell him that my father was a marine.. he just knew. It seemed that he has seen it before. I want to take Atabuse but I am not sure if it will interact with toothpaste, soap, etc. Any advice?
The best person to advice you on meds is the doctor who prescribed it, poisoned.
Until you can speak to them, be careful - look at ingredients.
I'm glad you got some help - I hope this can make a difference for you
D
Until you can speak to them, be careful - look at ingredients.
I'm glad you got some help - I hope this can make a difference for you
D
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