help a serious college binge drinker
redblue
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: ontario
Posts: 13
help a serious college binge drinker
hey,
i am a 23 year old college student with a history of abuse and use with alcohol.
I am desperate to stop for my grades, money and especially health. I have alcoholism in my family history, some have overcome some not. Help me get rid of this binge drinking life wasting habit please. Right now im hungover but dont feel so bad but oh my the anxiety, depression and loneliness of some hangovers is not something i should put myself through now or 10 years from now. Humans beings really do not need alcohol why do i fail to overcome it. I dont even socialize with thius **** anymore im not sure what i am going for. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you
i am a 23 year old college student with a history of abuse and use with alcohol.
I am desperate to stop for my grades, money and especially health. I have alcoholism in my family history, some have overcome some not. Help me get rid of this binge drinking life wasting habit please. Right now im hungover but dont feel so bad but oh my the anxiety, depression and loneliness of some hangovers is not something i should put myself through now or 10 years from now. Humans beings really do not need alcohol why do i fail to overcome it. I dont even socialize with thius **** anymore im not sure what i am going for. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 583
redblue
WELCOME!!
I like you was young and knew I had some issue. Didn't know what but at the age of 22 I had/needed to do something. I was totally empty inside, my body was young and in pretty good shape after all I was in the Marine Corps.
I asked for help much like you and was shown AA.
And I love part of your post "Humans beings really do not need alcohol"
We don't. We USE it to cover up mentally and the physcial part is like wanting water to live. It becomes 'fight or flight'.
There are multiple parts to this solution and this part below gave me enough hope to stick with it.
Let me post something from the AA Book.
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest."
So I went the AA way and this coming Saturday I will have been sober 19 years. The path is there for you and we welcome you anytime.
AG
WELCOME!!
I like you was young and knew I had some issue. Didn't know what but at the age of 22 I had/needed to do something. I was totally empty inside, my body was young and in pretty good shape after all I was in the Marine Corps.
I asked for help much like you and was shown AA.
And I love part of your post "Humans beings really do not need alcohol"
We don't. We USE it to cover up mentally and the physcial part is like wanting water to live. It becomes 'fight or flight'.
There are multiple parts to this solution and this part below gave me enough hope to stick with it.
Let me post something from the AA Book.
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest."
So I went the AA way and this coming Saturday I will have been sober 19 years. The path is there for you and we welcome you anytime.
AG
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey there. I was 23 when I got sober. I'm 14+ months sober now and about to start University in a couple of weeks. I am grateful to have the chance again after totally messing up the previous 5 years through binge drinking and associated depression and all of the other crap that it brings with it.
The only way that I could overcome feeling so hopeless, as you appear to at the moment, was truly accepting myself as an alcoholic and to put my all into my recovery from alcoholism. I accept that I'll always be an alcoholic. Basically I can achieve anything, within reason, in this life providing I don't take that first drink 'just for today'. If I drink then I die and take evrything good in my life with it. That is the short of it.
I have rebuilt my life 'one day at a time' by accepting the reality that for me then I have to dedicate my life to recovery, without recovery, I'm a dead man walking anyway. That is not a negative thing as I love the path I'm now on and my recovery from alcoholism has given me so much. University and the degree that I'm taking would never have happened without it. I truly love my recovery and it makes me the person I am today. I like the person I am now instead of feeling hatred and shame.
Getting sober and maintaining grateful sobriety was the best thing I ever did. I use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere. It's a daily work in progress.
It's possible to lead a much more rewarding and meaningful life without alcohol than it was with it. It sure ain't easy, especially being 23, but if you accept yourself as an alcoholic then it's a whole lot easier. It was/is for me anyway.
All The best
The only way that I could overcome feeling so hopeless, as you appear to at the moment, was truly accepting myself as an alcoholic and to put my all into my recovery from alcoholism. I accept that I'll always be an alcoholic. Basically I can achieve anything, within reason, in this life providing I don't take that first drink 'just for today'. If I drink then I die and take evrything good in my life with it. That is the short of it.
I have rebuilt my life 'one day at a time' by accepting the reality that for me then I have to dedicate my life to recovery, without recovery, I'm a dead man walking anyway. That is not a negative thing as I love the path I'm now on and my recovery from alcoholism has given me so much. University and the degree that I'm taking would never have happened without it. I truly love my recovery and it makes me the person I am today. I like the person I am now instead of feeling hatred and shame.
Getting sober and maintaining grateful sobriety was the best thing I ever did. I use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere. It's a daily work in progress.
It's possible to lead a much more rewarding and meaningful life without alcohol than it was with it. It sure ain't easy, especially being 23, but if you accept yourself as an alcoholic then it's a whole lot easier. It was/is for me anyway.
All The best
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Hi and Welcome,
I think it's great that you are aware of your problem with alcohol and that you are seeking support.
Take a look around here and you will find lots of information.
Something that helped me in the early days, was to plan ahead. I would plan to be doing something else when I would have been drinking. Shake up your routine. I had to stay away from alcohol and people who were drinking for quite awhile before I was comfortable.
Know that you can do this!
I think it's great that you are aware of your problem with alcohol and that you are seeking support.
Take a look around here and you will find lots of information.
Something that helped me in the early days, was to plan ahead. I would plan to be doing something else when I would have been drinking. Shake up your routine. I had to stay away from alcohol and people who were drinking for quite awhile before I was comfortable.
Know that you can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,447
Welcome redblue
Some great advice here already.
I was like you - young, in college, family history - only I didn't stop.
Believe me you don't want to go there. I didn't get sober until I was 40.
If you've tried on your own and you're still struggling - do whatever it takes, whether it's AA or some other recovery group, or counselling or whatever. Look around for whats available on campus, maybe?
You're really ahead of the game to start thinking about this now - well done - keep posting
D
Some great advice here already.
I was like you - young, in college, family history - only I didn't stop.
Believe me you don't want to go there. I didn't get sober until I was 40.
If you've tried on your own and you're still struggling - do whatever it takes, whether it's AA or some other recovery group, or counselling or whatever. Look around for whats available on campus, maybe?
You're really ahead of the game to start thinking about this now - well done - keep posting
D
Last edited by Dee74; 09-19-2010 at 05:14 PM. Reason: added
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family! 
It's good indeed that you are looking to correct this problem before it gets worse - and it will get worse. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me.
It's good indeed that you are looking to correct this problem before it gets worse - and it will get worse. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me. SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
welcome redblue - A lot of people your age are getting sober, so you're not alone. It takes a little bit of time to change your lifestyle (kinda like being in a foreign country or learning a new job), but you can do it. It's really worth it, too. Life will change for the better instead of getting worse, which is pretty much a guarantee when it comes to alcoholism.
AA would be a great place to meet some new people and learn some sobriety tools. Anna had a great suggestion, too - plan ahead so that you have some things to do on evenings/weekends when you normally drink. Are there any AA groups on campus? Since you're in school, there have to be other sober students there, so look around and see what you can find. All the best to you!
AA would be a great place to meet some new people and learn some sobriety tools. Anna had a great suggestion, too - plan ahead so that you have some things to do on evenings/weekends when you normally drink. Are there any AA groups on campus? Since you're in school, there have to be other sober students there, so look around and see what you can find. All the best to you!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome.....
When my drinking turned into depression ...I went to
a local AA group. I found one that had mostly singles
and that gave me a new social group.....
We shared the same goal of sobriety and we
stayed connected as we moved forward.
Glad you found us...please keep posting
When my drinking turned into depression ...I went to
a local AA group. I found one that had mostly singles
and that gave me a new social group.....
We shared the same goal of sobriety and we
stayed connected as we moved forward.
Glad you found us...please keep posting
redblue
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: ontario
Posts: 13
Thank you all for the great advice and support. This will be hard to do but i will try to choose life over death in the sense that alcohol will lead me through a spiritless, unfulfilled and unintelligible existence as well as probably an early death. In life I can grow,love and learn.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Speaking from personal experience here (I'm 24), this is what I feel as this is what I had to believe before I was ready to change:
No one will be able to help you unless you know deep down inside that you have a problem and accept that you cannot moderate/control your drinking. If you can truly believe it and be at peace with your flaw/weakness/biological/mental problem (whatever you want to call it) you will find that making the decision to try to quit much easier to accept.
The best thing you can do is be honest with yourself, confront your demons and try to get their hands off your life. The worst thing to do is deceive yourself.
No one will be able to help you unless you know deep down inside that you have a problem and accept that you cannot moderate/control your drinking. If you can truly believe it and be at peace with your flaw/weakness/biological/mental problem (whatever you want to call it) you will find that making the decision to try to quit much easier to accept.
The best thing you can do is be honest with yourself, confront your demons and try to get their hands off your life. The worst thing to do is deceive yourself.
redblue
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: ontario
Posts: 13
You are right HL i cannot drink normally i drink so much that alienate other heavy drinkers around me sometimes and when i wake up around other people hungover as hell i can barely talk to them unless i drink more becaese of anxiety and whatever. Not exactly an ideal way to spend my time, having trouble holding conversations with people some who are supposed to be close friends. Its a ******* waste of time is what it is. I guess i needed to get this rant out. Sorry!
Hooligan
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Snowy North-Eastern U.S.
Posts: 321
hey im a 23 year old binger / alcoholic/ etc. I'm in the exact same boat. Every morning after i drink feeling of regret, every single time, always accompanied by constant puking dry heaving, lounging around and not eating etc. Alcohol problems run deep in my family as well.
I'm just realizing this now, that if i want to save what i have going for me i need to be sober, before i lose everything. Already lost my license and job to it in the past 3 weeks...
I'm just realizing this now, that if i want to save what i have going for me i need to be sober, before i lose everything. Already lost my license and job to it in the past 3 weeks...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Sadly I had revelations like this but continued to drink, maybe would stop for a weekend or so. I had to hit personal rock bottom (basically as far down as I was willing to go) to finally get it nailed into my head. It would usually involve me still thinking/wanting to drink, I would have 100 reasons to stop but would be looking for 1 reason to keep going.
It sounds like you know you have a problem but I'm not getting the vibe from you that you want to quit. Normally they say it takes someone to hit their version of rock bottom to get serious about quitting, but I think we (by we I mean us that have decided to stop) all wish that others don't have to go through the perils of the bottom...ya know, skip that step and move on to the better parts of being sober.
It sounds like you know you have a problem but I'm not getting the vibe from you that you want to quit. Normally they say it takes someone to hit their version of rock bottom to get serious about quitting, but I think we (by we I mean us that have decided to stop) all wish that others don't have to go through the perils of the bottom...ya know, skip that step and move on to the better parts of being sober.
redblue
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: ontario
Posts: 13
Hey HL if my vibe does not come across then i can tell you i do indeed wish to quit though that doesnt ensure that i will, and i appreciate what you say about the perils of the bottom and not wishing for anyone to have to go there but in some ways i have been there! Hey ItsMe23 its nice to know im not the only one my age who seemingly has a consciernce to what is a strikingly common lifestyle shared amongst many partiers of around our age. Although how is puking and damaging your body and mind a party? Plus i dont think im like them, they seem to be able to handle those morning afters better, guess i just wasnt built for that. Last year of school i was partying andf managing to keep up with hockey 3-4 times a week and working out, this year i havent done a damn thing but drink! Last year i think i did a decent job of ignroing my problems this year they seem to have caught up! Think im gonna try to replace the exercise with the drinking and think long hard about how to avoid those weekend temptations! My family has put a lot into me being at school and i have too so i really do not want to **** it up.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Originally Posted by redblue 
Hey HL if my vibe does not come across then i can tell you i do indeed wish to quit though that doesnt ensure that i will, and i appreciate what you say about the perils of the bottom and not wishing for anyone to have to go there but in some ways i have been there!
Good luck, I second the going to AA thing, its not like you are forced to join and if you go in with an open mind you will definitely get something good out of it.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome aboard, RedBlue. It's great that you recognize, at such an early stage in your drinking career, that you have a problem. Like Dee pointed out in an earlier post, don't wait till you are old. Wish I could have had your insight at your age. At 23 I was just laying the foundation for the next 30 years.
I don't have the success at being sober to offer much advice...however, I've failed often enough to learn just one thing--Do not pick up that next drink. Good luck.
I don't have the success at being sober to offer much advice...however, I've failed often enough to learn just one thing--Do not pick up that next drink. Good luck.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi ItsMe23, I could have written the exact same stuff as you. I lost my license when I had just turned 22. I blacked out everytime I used to drink too. The only way for me was to commit 100% to sobriety and recovery and treat it like it was life or death... because it is!
Hi redblue, I'm from England where the drinking and partying scene is pretty mental too. I was a total binger taking as much booze and drugs as I could get down me. However, I know I was different to the masses, drinking took over my life and mind in a way that will only happen to alcoholics. I would be drinking as soon as I woke up and unable not to, most people don't do that. If I had no booze left at my house then i would be round the shop at 7.30am to buy it or if I was round somebody's house/flat then I would steal some from them on the sly. I had to drink.
I was a heavy bingedrinker though my alcoholism was progressing and it wouldn;t have been long before Iwas a 24/7 drunk and lost everything.
It's all too easy to know you've got a problem and do nothing about it. Recovery takes direct action, I went to AA and that really helped lay a solid foundation for my continued sobriety and recovery.
It's easy to be a loser in this life, anybody can be a loser. I used to walk into random pubs in city's and towns alone and just meet up with them and thought I was having a good time for a few hours. In reality I was blacking life out of my mind by drinking alcohol and then taking Coke in the toilets to get more high.
If you want happiness then sobriety and recovery is the only way to go if you're an alcoholic.
All The Best
Hi redblue, I'm from England where the drinking and partying scene is pretty mental too. I was a total binger taking as much booze and drugs as I could get down me. However, I know I was different to the masses, drinking took over my life and mind in a way that will only happen to alcoholics. I would be drinking as soon as I woke up and unable not to, most people don't do that. If I had no booze left at my house then i would be round the shop at 7.30am to buy it or if I was round somebody's house/flat then I would steal some from them on the sly. I had to drink.
I was a heavy bingedrinker though my alcoholism was progressing and it wouldn;t have been long before Iwas a 24/7 drunk and lost everything.
It's all too easy to know you've got a problem and do nothing about it. Recovery takes direct action, I went to AA and that really helped lay a solid foundation for my continued sobriety and recovery.
It's easy to be a loser in this life, anybody can be a loser. I used to walk into random pubs in city's and towns alone and just meet up with them and thought I was having a good time for a few hours. In reality I was blacking life out of my mind by drinking alcohol and then taking Coke in the toilets to get more high.
If you want happiness then sobriety and recovery is the only way to go if you're an alcoholic.
All The Best
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