Mountainmanbob

Yes, that is true Bill.
Seems that many poor old drinking souls will die with a bottle in their hand.
My grandfather was one -- die at around 80 years old.
It was a sad thing to see as he drank, did drugs and ran with an old biker girl.
M-Bob

Tang

I know two people like this now. And they are stubborn so won't listen to family members trying to get them help.

wpainterw

Sorry to hear about that. I'm still married but I can at least fantasize about "running with an old biker girl" (hard to run now; can't even run after the dog, maybe if the "biker girl" would slow down I could catch her!)

W.

wpainterw

My impression is that women are more inclined to seek help outside the family than men. Women like to reach out to confide in other women. Men may think that it's not manly to confide in other men, a sign of weakness. They are not used to sitting alone in the cave. In the earlier part of their lives they spent their time in the woods and marshes, killing ferocious animals, at the beginning with clubs and stones, then with arrows and now with AK-47's. What's next? Tasers, Drones, Flame Throwers? Maybe poison gas on moose up in Alaska (yet there's a woman up there- can't recall her name, who might just try doing that!)

W.

IvanMike

Old threads never die, they are just subject to sudden resurrection.

It was hard enough to walk into NA at 44. (Good move on my part). We may not need a special pamphlet for seniors in recovery in NA just yet (some of those drugs and the lifestyle inherent with their use tend to be rather terminal). I hope so though, the NA fellowship is still very young compared to AA.

I like the seniors in recovery that I meet. I want to be one of them one day. (Sure beats the alternatives).

CAPTAINZING2000

It's great to see you're still on this forum.

I've grown older with the same group of guys in my home town. I've also seen several of them pass away. Some were still active and many had health issues preventing them from attending meetings any longer.
They say we are only as old as we feel.

I noticed this is a very old thread, I hope you still have some members to relate with in your meetings. Some meetings I feel more comfortable since there are older members while other meetings, I'm not sure if what I have to say resonates with them

Cascabel

Thanks for the post Painter.
I'm nearly 80 so still a bit younger than you. Like you I'm a retired professional (academic scientist) and married. Not rich but comfortable. I retired young, mostly because I saw universities being pushed into becoming trade schools. I wanted no part of that so got out.

I quit drinking, by myself, in 1980 because I didn't like where my drinking seemed to be taking me. I stayed sober until December 2010, nearly 31 years. I started again when my wife became seriously ill; it was time together where we shared a bottle of wine and talked. Sadly, it didn't take long for my old drinking habits to resume. My wife got better but I didn't. Finally, about three years ago, I decided to quit again.

This time I decided to explore the idea of support groups. I attended meetings of SMART, Lifering and several AA groups. I was not particularly comfortable in any of the meetings and was particularly uncomfortable in AA. It was probably just me but I found the religiosity and the "our way or the highway" to be a bit off-putting. I finally just quit and found the SR forum. With the exception of one minor slip, I've been sober this time around for over 2 years. I do long hikes, woodworking, reading and chess to fill my time.

I live about 15 miles from one of the large, age-restricted communities in Arizona: a place called Green Valley. In the winter, the population nearly triples as snowbirds, largely from the upper Midwest, arrive to golf and avoid the winters "back home". Alcohol is a major problem in Green Valley: liquor and wine sales at, for example, Walgreen's Drug are near the corporate highs and the same applies to the national supermarket chains.

In Green Valley, AA is the only game in town; SMART and Lifering are offered in Tucson roughly an hour away. AA in Green Valley is dominated by "seniors". At the church my wife attends, there are 8 different AA groups which use the meeting room. The same applies for other Green Valley churches. The AA meetings I attended were in Green Valley.

So, we have a retirement community with substantial sales of alcohol and a significant AA presence. To me that says that drinking by retired people may be a bigger issue, at least here, than is generally recognized. There seems to be more drinkers here than on average and a lot of folks trying to quit. The main reason I hear for drinking is boredom but I think there is more to it than that. There is also a loss of connection that comes with retirement. The statement I hear a lot "Well, he may have been a big cheese back in Milwaukee but here he's just another old fart with too much time on his hands" applies to a lot of folks. And, they know it and I think drinking helps to dull the sense of loss as well as helps to pass the time.

The problem of alcoholism in seniors may not be as visible where they are not as concentrated but I suspect that it still exists and will get worse as more boomers retire.

tomsteve

i feel like a youngen @ 48.
i had quite an experience at a roundup i went to a few years ago.
before the saturday night speaker was a sobriety countdown. the longest there was 56 years. they let him speak a little and he said he got sober at 28 years old.


the the speaker- a woman 42 years old who had just celebrated 28 years sober.


it was very spiritually moving to see people in recovery at all ages.

stevieg46

Hi William I will be 70 in two weeks time and 10 years sober two days before . 8 yrs ago I was diagnosed Bi-Polar I retired 7 yrs ago , medication very heavy , 16 months ago I weighed 252 lbs 48 inch waist stopped smoking due to Emphyesema my lung capacity was .9 .

I stopped all medication , changed nutrition to healthy and started vigorous exercise . I now weigh 188 lbs and my lung capacity is 3.9 a 400% increase, no longer use inhalers .done this through swimming 3.5 hours 6 days a week I do gym mostly now

I go to my health club 6 days a week 7 am till 10.15 am , gym /swim / sauna /steam room /Jaccuzi , I meet people every day some AA s some not I have made new friends it is my hobby I keep fit and healthy , its all socializing .

William maybe you need another interest , I carry the AA message but not just to alcoholics , I have given loads of people encouragement and hope from what I have achieved people with various ailments , joint problems , weight etc I meet people in the 60 -90 age bracket all doing various things and they love it and they look on me as a friend , why don't you look into it if you have a facility pretty close by , AA adds years to your life , but so does exercise and healthy eating , take care.

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006

PurpleKnight

I remember seeing a news story last year about the increase in drinking amongst those that are retired, and they linked that with the rise in loneliness and isolation, many retired people maybe who through illness etc who live on their own may not see that many people from week to week.

Therein opens the door to alcohol, the one thing that made sure my fall into chaos wasn't as quick as it was I attribute to physically having to spend 10 hours a day dedicated to work, if I had of been sitting at home with all that time on my hands, I fear to think where I would be right now.

So the answer maybe is in keeping busy, hobbies, interests, friendships, keeping a focus on something . . . but easier said than done I can only imagine when you've lived 80 years of life already, compared to many things being relatively still new in your 30s . . . I can only theorise on how it may be!!

Great post though Bill!!

Saskia

I'm 71 and am living in a retirement community. The socialization and many activities here tend to keep most people from feeling lonely and bored. There are many folks who have wine with dinner and there is a community cocktail hour before dinner one night per week. I've heard of a couple of people who have had problems but less than I had expected (I have also read that drinking is becoming a big problem among retired folks).

I have noticed that people in their late 80s and 90s are affected to a much greater extent after one or two drinks than the younger ones. In those cases I can hear slurred speech fairly quickly.

I have seen older folks in AA meetings and in my IOP.

wpainterw

Cascabel: Nice to hear from you. I grew very fond of Arizona at the age of 16 when I went down to spend the summer with some friends who owned the now defunct Humbug Gold Mine around 50 miles north of Phoenix, west of the Bradshaw Mts. and north of the Hieroglyphics, all just a bit south of Crown King. Lots of drinking up there, retired cowhands. One was drunk driving a horse and managed to leap over a convertible vehicle with a young girl inside. No one was hurt. I know you worry about the horse. The rider had been National Champion at Madison Square Garden in N.Y.C. and now there was a big tear in his jeans, worn very bow legged, which he was proud of saying that his horse bit him. I've never forgotten that place! Got in my blood. I guess when they ran out of water they just turned to whiskey. The high desert, heat, cactus, rattlesnakes, scorpions, tarantulas and whiskey plus a cougar screaming in the night. How I loved it all! I'm 89 now and dream about it occasionally. I remember when an old horse got plugged up by eating mesquite beans he had to give it an enema, with a garden hose. It's wise not to stand directly behind the horse when doing that. And don't talk politics, particularly in these times! Do keep that in mind on Super Tuesday all you folks down in Texas!

Bill

Bunny211

I'm 33 and my sponsor is in her 60s. I am always amazed at how much I relate to her. Regardless of age, our stories are all pretty much the same. I love seeing older folks at meetings. A lot of them have lots of sober time and I learn so much from them.

I'm seeing a lot of my friends from the halls go out and die...all young people 20s/30s. It's really sad. I find older folks comforting. I don't know why. I picked my sponsor in part because she is much older than me and has over 30 years of sobriety. I guess I see her a motherly figure. Plus, I look at the older people in the halls and inside I go "You are in your 60s or 70s...a real adult...you probably have your **** together better than I do...I'm going to listen to what you have to say."

Soberpotamus

I feel similarly, Bunny. I love listening to and learning from older people. I had a sponsor who was much older than me. It didn't end up working out (not because of age), but I can definitely see the appeal of having an older person in that role.

I really have enjoyed reading this thread.

wpainterw

If you can't find yourself an old geezer, try an old dog. The larger the better but the big ones die earlier than the little ones. That's why I lost sixty pounds. I have a spaniel (English of course) and we hope to check out together, hand in hand, or maybe paw in paw. Tail wags and friendly sniffs to all you young 'uns!

W.

freestylebob

Hi W.PainterW

1.) Service work helping others helps us, it's never too late to make a difference, recovery needs choice, AA is not for everyone and it has nothing to do with age imo.
2.) What's your purpose left in life??? Create your own recovery group, look at other programs, there is a need for what you are talking about here, you sound like the perfect guy to make something work. It will put a spring back in your life.
Take Care

wpainterw

I continue to reach out to folks who might want to start a group, either AA or something else. But in the rural area where I live there are only AA groups of the conventional variety, which have little appeal for me. Even though I am not an agnostic, much less an atheist, I feel more at home with them. I've tried to reach out to two young people who desperately need help but have had no success. All the older folks I have encountered have been either traditional AA people or seem to isolate themselves in their homes. I suspect that this is particularly true of the men. My efforts in the time I have remaining are on the internet, particularly SR. I hope to do what I can to lessen the isolation, loneliness which come with advancing years.

W.