13TH stepping ?
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by least 
AA isn't a dating service. It's a program for living a sober healthy life. I feel bad that you seem to be going to meetings just to find dates.
I hope you have a good experience at rehab.
I hope you have a good experience at rehab.
W.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 91
Please try not to bash me.I'm not going to AA to get a date. I could get that at a bar, gym, work or maybe at the beach. I don't go out with everyone that hits on me. Most men in AA are ugly anyway. I had bad feeling about asking this question. I just resently got completely off drugs. I'm trying to get sober. I'm on a waiting list for rahab. I do not go to AA to pick up men . Did nobody read the part about where I said i'm on a waiting list for rehab? I just wanted some honest examples and feedback.Not bashing.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Ahhh you are a woman...well in that case it is totally appropriate in my book lol...kidding!
Good that you are heading to rehab, "dating" opposite sex happens more in rehab than in AA and more people get kicked out for that then they do for drinking/using so be aware!
The reason why I and other recovered alcoholics frown on people dating in AA is because you have a group of adults sitting in a room with the combined mental age of 11 all playing at being grown ups so for the most part it is going to end badly...there will be a handful of recovered alcoholics in the room that are there for the real AA solution and they would not consider getting involved anyway...also the whole point of being in AA is to get sober and to live a life beyond our wildest dreams outside the rooms...there are plenty of healthy, normal people on their own spiritual path to choose from!
Once you have finished rehab and done the work in AA you will have a mental age far above most in the rooms and soon enough you will look at dating most others like a healthy 17 year old would look at dating a 11 year old...
Thats about it really...good luck at rehab:-)
Good that you are heading to rehab, "dating" opposite sex happens more in rehab than in AA and more people get kicked out for that then they do for drinking/using so be aware!
The reason why I and other recovered alcoholics frown on people dating in AA is because you have a group of adults sitting in a room with the combined mental age of 11 all playing at being grown ups so for the most part it is going to end badly...there will be a handful of recovered alcoholics in the room that are there for the real AA solution and they would not consider getting involved anyway...also the whole point of being in AA is to get sober and to live a life beyond our wildest dreams outside the rooms...there are plenty of healthy, normal people on their own spiritual path to choose from!
Once you have finished rehab and done the work in AA you will have a mental age far above most in the rooms and soon enough you will look at dating most others like a healthy 17 year old would look at dating a 11 year old...
Thats about it really...good luck at rehab:-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by least
AA isn't a dating service. It's a program for living a sober healthy life. I feel bad that you seem to be going to meetings just to find dates.
I hope you have a good experience at rehab.
I hope you have a good experience at rehab.
zbear
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: far far from home
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by yeahgr8
The reason why I and other recovered alcoholics frown on people dating in AA is because you have a group of adults sitting in a room with the combined mental age of 11 all playing at being grown ups so for the most part it is going to end badly...
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by tribal1969
I ask a question and all I get is bashed.THANKS GUYS.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by tribal1969
Why does AA frown so hard on people in AA dating other? I go to AA sometimes. I still drink and so far the only thing I have got out of it is a few dates. I'm currantly on a waiting list for rehab.
I believe in a previous thread you said something like the best thing about not drinking would be not going to AA meetings. If you don't find that AA is your thing then why keep bashing AA? Alternatively, if you have a constructive question about AA then it might be better received, e.g., why it works for some people or what alternatives have people tried if AA isn't for you.
Personally I am 19 days sober and forced myself to give AA a fair try (my first week sober I had no intentions of even trying AA). Then with some encouragement and better understanding of AA that I gained on this forum I went and I was very scared. Since then I have gone to 5 or 6 meetings and I will keep going because I think it takes trying different groups and gaining understanding about the process - you won't get this from one or 2 meetings. This is about saving my life - not about finding dates or scoping out the men! My sober mind finds your question and comments flip. Perhaps my drinking mind would have reacted in a different manner but hopefully I will never know.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Tarpon Springs, Fl.
Posts: 5
LET THERE BE NO GOSSIP OR CRITICISM OF EACH OTHER, INSTEAD LET THE JOY AND PEACE OF THE PROGRAM GROW IN YOU ONE DAY AT A TIME.
(GO OUT AND ENJOY YOUR SOBRIETY)
THERE IS NO 13TH STEP IN A.A.
SOME FOOLS THINK ITS A CUTE LIL SAYING. If you think you need to date a sober person you would be wise to step back and really observe for awhile, at least your first year of sobriety. then ask yourself is there anyone here worth dating.
JUST A SUGGESTION
(GO OUT AND ENJOY YOUR SOBRIETY)
THERE IS NO 13TH STEP IN A.A.
SOME FOOLS THINK ITS A CUTE LIL SAYING. If you think you need to date a sober person you would be wise to step back and really observe for awhile, at least your first year of sobriety. then ask yourself is there anyone here worth dating.
JUST A SUGGESTION
Last edited by poncho; 09-07-2010 at 07:58 PM. Reason: MISSPELLED
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