new & thank you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: white lake, MI
Posts: 18
new & thank you.
k I'm just introducing myself. I'm a 40 yr old mom, wife selfemployed @home taking care of elderly and brain injured people in our home. My husband and I quit taking pills on August 1. everything in our lives has happened w/o planning as did our choice to quit. We opened a second home just weeks before we decided to quit so our work load has doubled, which also means our time together is very limited right now.
I'm scared to death!
Because of our 15 years of addiction, I am now at a complete loss re: how to be a grown human. Or how to function at all at any given moment.
There is no going back for us. We cut off all suppliers. My youngest son has sufferd horribly for the time, energy and money we used to supply our habit instead of concentrating on him! I cry all the time cuz I see the damage.
I came here because #1 I need to know that there are people who can attest to being clean, living clean. I know no one that does'nt have some sort of addiction or issues. (which btw was 1 of my best excuses to use!)
#2 I also have eliminated every single person that has come into my life because of the drugs. I'm starting new, here. Thank You.
I'm scared to death!
Because of our 15 years of addiction, I am now at a complete loss re: how to be a grown human. Or how to function at all at any given moment.
There is no going back for us. We cut off all suppliers. My youngest son has sufferd horribly for the time, energy and money we used to supply our habit instead of concentrating on him! I cry all the time cuz I see the damage.
I came here because #1 I need to know that there are people who can attest to being clean, living clean. I know no one that does'nt have some sort of addiction or issues. (which btw was 1 of my best excuses to use!)
#2 I also have eliminated every single person that has come into my life because of the drugs. I'm starting new, here. Thank You.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Good for you!
Now that you've cut the druggies out of your life, you definitely need some support to stay clean. I'm an alcoholic, and I've found AA very helpful.
I suggest you find an NA meeting. You will meet a lot of people dealing with the same challenges you're facing.
Welcome to SR--this is a great place, with a lot of support and information.
Now that you've cut the druggies out of your life, you definitely need some support to stay clean. I'm an alcoholic, and I've found AA very helpful.
I suggest you find an NA meeting. You will meet a lot of people dealing with the same challenges you're facing.
Welcome to SR--this is a great place, with a lot of support and information.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hi
Welcome to SR. I hope that you will be able to take time for your recovery. So post on, let's hear what's goin' on! Being a caregiver is hard work, putting others first and all... which is a good thing, but don't forget to care for yourself!
Mark
Welcome to SR. I hope that you will be able to take time for your recovery. So post on, let's hear what's goin' on! Being a caregiver is hard work, putting others first and all... which is a good thing, but don't forget to care for yourself!
Mark
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello and welcome to sr.
my partner and i have been together over 7 yrs,we drank together.thought all our Christmases had come at once when we met!
i went to AA in january last year,got sober and on the programme a month later....
my other half followed me into AA in march.
our life is wonderful now...it was just an existence before.
i couldnt deal with life either,i need a programme,i use the 12 steps of AA.
NA uses the same steps...lexie cat suggested a meeting,have you thought about giving it a go?
WELCOME
my partner and i have been together over 7 yrs,we drank together.thought all our Christmases had come at once when we met!
i went to AA in january last year,got sober and on the programme a month later....
my other half followed me into AA in march.
our life is wonderful now...it was just an existence before.
i couldnt deal with life either,i need a programme,i use the 12 steps of AA.
NA uses the same steps...lexie cat suggested a meeting,have you thought about giving it a go?
WELCOME
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: white lake, MI
Posts: 18
Thank you so much guys for responding! Yes care-giving is demanding. But I'm good taking care of others. We even have a no narcotic policy. Ironic huh? but we've had some tramatic brain injured people here and can I tell you that the addictions that these people had before their accidents are so strong afterwards, even when they"ve forgotten every other aspect of their lives, they still crave and demand and cry to get pain pills.
I'm also finding that taking care of "the people" keeps me busy. It's funny cuz I've always thought I needed the pills to get busy every a.m but yet here I am talking more than ever and getting all of my work done.
It's the going out in public I'm having trouble w/. Well that and trying to figure the how to act like an adult. I'm just going minute by minute w/ the rslove that not another drop (what we call our pills) will be put in this body.
I have to say that my husband & I tried NA a couple years ago. Even went to different locations and I was so disappointed. We had men hitting on us or active users bs'ing their way through that we found it an impossible enviroment to learn how to cope. I know maybe give it another chance. My free time is minimal. Right now my husband & i split our time between 2 houses and child rearing.
We are just trying to love one another right now. I'm embarrassed how angry I have always been. I honestly never thought the anger was the pills. But I know that in the 8 days I have been clean that I have not had 1 outburst or demanding hissy fit. Now I do cry multiple times a day but every1 around me agrees this is better than yelling.
I'm also finding that taking care of "the people" keeps me busy. It's funny cuz I've always thought I needed the pills to get busy every a.m but yet here I am talking more than ever and getting all of my work done.
It's the going out in public I'm having trouble w/. Well that and trying to figure the how to act like an adult. I'm just going minute by minute w/ the rslove that not another drop (what we call our pills) will be put in this body.
I have to say that my husband & I tried NA a couple years ago. Even went to different locations and I was so disappointed. We had men hitting on us or active users bs'ing their way through that we found it an impossible enviroment to learn how to cope. I know maybe give it another chance. My free time is minimal. Right now my husband & i split our time between 2 houses and child rearing.
We are just trying to love one another right now. I'm embarrassed how angry I have always been. I honestly never thought the anger was the pills. But I know that in the 8 days I have been clean that I have not had 1 outburst or demanding hissy fit. Now I do cry multiple times a day but every1 around me agrees this is better than yelling.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: white lake, MI
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Good for you!
Now that you've cut the druggies out of your life, you definitely need some support to stay clean. I'm an alcoholic, and I've found AA very helpful.
I suggest you find an NA meeting. You will meet a lot of people dealing with the same challenges you're facing.
Welcome to SR--this is a great place, with a lot of support and information.
Now that you've cut the druggies out of your life, you definitely need some support to stay clean. I'm an alcoholic, and I've found AA very helpful.
I suggest you find an NA meeting. You will meet a lot of people dealing with the same challenges you're facing.
Welcome to SR--this is a great place, with a lot of support and information.
You know lexie, we rarely had to buy from "druggies" there are so many options to aquire pills, it's scary. We actually felt bad telling a few of our suppliers because one was a family memebr that made alot of money off us for his supply. He needs the money but told us he loves us. Which was a first! My husbands regular dr. is another one who actaully tried to dissuade him!! so he told him he will no longer be using him since he really was only writing for lortabs every month and not much eles.
Thank you for replying.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: las vegas nv
Posts: 180
4theboys, I am 22 days clean off the opiates. Not long, but past the detox. I, too, had to cut off my supplier. I felt bad at first because I knew him well, however, he bothers me everyday calling or stopping by my house, so watch out for that. I probably helped pay his rent/mortgage and then neglected my own bills. It feels great to be clean and alive again, I hope you join us in recovery. Good Luck! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: white lake, MI
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Balou
4theboys, I am 22 days clean off the opiates. Not long, but past the detox. I, too, had to cut off my supplier. I felt bad at first because I knew him well, however, he bothers me everyday calling or stopping by my house, so watch out for that. I probably helped pay his rent/mortgage and then neglected my own bills. It feels great to be clean and alive again, I hope you join us in recovery. Good Luck!
I can't believe how easy it is to justify taking the pills! Even today I'm feeling better each day and had a good am coming here and signing on, and now half way thorugh the day I just sat down and started bawling and i know it is because just for a moment thought how much easier it is to give in. And I really dont want to. It bothers me so much that there is absolutly nothing going on that I would even need to be juiced up for. But my youngest son came in and started complaining about being bored. How can I say to my son to leave me alone when that's all I've done for his whole 9 yrs of life? I cant anymore so i just cry.
My husband & I spent 18,000$ last year on pills!!! Not including the time, energy, paying for overnite shipments, the gas. So now all i want to think about is what I'm gonna get w/ all that freed up money.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Welcome, and by now you've probably discovered that this is a pretty cool site. There's many, many combined years of sobriety and experience on SR.com; I suggest allowing the people here to help you as much as they can!
My drug of choice was alcohol (though I did like to pop a pill every now and then), but I know how it feels to waste your life on a substance for over a decade. Luckily I have no children yet, so I didn't have to make them deal with my nonsense. But everyone else in my life has felt the pain caused by Drunk Chris. I can tell you for certain that after 4+ months without the booze, my life is great and I feel better than I thought I could for these past 12 years.
Hang in there, and hang around here. I'm sure you'll get lots of suggestions on how to deal with your early sobriety. Remember, people here want to help, and many have been through the exact same things as you, no matter how outlandish you may think your experiences to be. No better place to find assistance than from someone who's done it, and that's true for everything from hanging a picture to tossing away the bottle, be it booze or pills.
My drug of choice was alcohol (though I did like to pop a pill every now and then), but I know how it feels to waste your life on a substance for over a decade. Luckily I have no children yet, so I didn't have to make them deal with my nonsense. But everyone else in my life has felt the pain caused by Drunk Chris. I can tell you for certain that after 4+ months without the booze, my life is great and I feel better than I thought I could for these past 12 years.
Hang in there, and hang around here. I'm sure you'll get lots of suggestions on how to deal with your early sobriety. Remember, people here want to help, and many have been through the exact same things as you, no matter how outlandish you may think your experiences to be. No better place to find assistance than from someone who's done it, and that's true for everything from hanging a picture to tossing away the bottle, be it booze or pills.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 5
Hi 4theboys,
I am on my first day. I am a pill addict too... anything from Percocet to Darvocet, but my true love was Vicodin.
This is my first day without any opiate painkiller since December of 2008. So far so good. It's nice to know some people going thru the same thing at the same time
I am close to you... I am over in the northeast suburbs of Detroit. Good luck in your journey.
I am on my first day. I am a pill addict too... anything from Percocet to Darvocet, but my true love was Vicodin.
This is my first day without any opiate painkiller since December of 2008. So far so good. It's nice to know some people going thru the same thing at the same time
I am close to you... I am over in the northeast suburbs of Detroit. Good luck in your journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: las vegas nv
Posts: 180
Yes 4theboys, I felt the same way with my daughter. It gets better keep it up, we support you here! I'm happy to help someone in the same postion as me. I spent close to 10,000 dollars myself last year. It's so horrible, and the shame of it all. I still cry a lot but it feels good at the same time to let out all the emotions that were hidden for so long. If you ever want to talk just leave a msg on my page. STAY STRONG! AND F those pills!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: white lake, MI
Posts: 18
Yea ok I made it back today. My last pill was july 31st. And that was only one lil c-rappy pill but technically that was the last day I injested!! Halafrickenluyah!! I've actaully had my best day since quitting. That f****** pain in my legs and lower back is gone. I worked out for like the 5th day in a row. I even ate b'fast, lunch and I just finished dinner!! I'm used to waiting til dinner then way over eating and then taking more drugs to feel better.
I'm still sweating and jittery. But it was ok outside the house today. I actually went swimming w/ my son, in my huge ass pool that I have not even gone in all summer!
Honestly I'm giddy and grinning!
I just tell myself all day"keep moving" and all the work i used to have to take pills to do, I can do w/o. I know!!
I know day 10 after a lifetime of using and I sound like a silly child, but let me tell you how good it feels to be smiling and feeling like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing!!
I'm still sweating and jittery. But it was ok outside the house today. I actually went swimming w/ my son, in my huge ass pool that I have not even gone in all summer!
Honestly I'm giddy and grinning!
I just tell myself all day"keep moving" and all the work i used to have to take pills to do, I can do w/o. I know!!
I know day 10 after a lifetime of using and I sound like a silly child, but let me tell you how good it feels to be smiling and feeling like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing!!
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
4theboys, I am also in Michigan, and my sobriety date is also July 31st. I have found so much comfort and support reading the posts written by people that are just like me, who have overcome and are now living the wonderful life of sobriety. I hope you post often, and find the comfort here that I have.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: white lake, MI
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by julez
4theboys, I am also in Michigan, and my sobriety date is also July 31st. I have found so much comfort and support reading the posts written by people that are just like me, who have overcome and are now living the wonderful life of sobriety. I hope you post often, and find the comfort here that I have.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome to the family 4theboys. It takes guts to give up a long standing dependency. I drank almost all my adult life - and like you, never really matured the way I should have. I am now learning to cope with life without running for my little helper - and it was scary in the beginning. I'd never allowed myself to experience emotions or to have normal reactions - I always stifled them.
I now know I made things so much worse for myself. Trying to handle life by using a buffer, I turned myself into an irrational, unstable person. I'm slowly finding the real me, buried deep down inside. (She's really a nice girl, but a bit immature for her age.
)
It sounds like you're off to a very positive start - your new life is just ahead of you - be proud of yourself.
I now know I made things so much worse for myself. Trying to handle life by using a buffer, I turned myself into an irrational, unstable person. I'm slowly finding the real me, buried deep down inside. (She's really a nice girl, but a bit immature for her age.
)It sounds like you're off to a very positive start - your new life is just ahead of you - be proud of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome to SR 4theboys !
At just over 4 months clean and sober, ....this place is a true blessing.
Instead of some painful agonizing trip, the support here at SR has been the best thing in my life, ....even with the occasional day to day "challenges" that life seems to throw my way.
Congratulations on " starting new"
Grateful;...... to be clean and sober, "one day at a time"
.
At just over 4 months clean and sober, ....this place is a true blessing.
Instead of some painful agonizing trip, the support here at SR has been the best thing in my life, ....even with the occasional day to day "challenges" that life seems to throw my way.
Congratulations on " starting new"
Grateful;...... to be clean and sober, "one day at a time"
.
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