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Old 08-05-2010, 10:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Almost blew it tonight


5 weeks sober and met some friends out a bar. I thought everything was ok until we ran into a bunch of girls we knew who wanted to take shots. I kept saying no I'm good. They kept drinking, kept asking, I finally had to leave. I seriously think I almost had a nervous breakdown.

And Im worried because tomorrow is a friend's graduation and everyone is meeting out at the same bar. Im almost afraid to go.
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Old 08-05-2010, 11:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Im almost afraid to go.
Hey man. No almost for me. I'd be very afraid. Good luck if you do choose to go. Personally, I find coffee shops much safer.
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Old 08-05-2010, 11:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Maybe you should listen to that voice hearne?

Noone's saying you can;t go out ever again - but it's early days, and if you feel susceptible to peer pressure...it's worth a second thought I think.

Is your sobriety the most important thing to you right now, or not?
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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You were smart to leave when you did. You're also smart to pay attention to that healthy fear that maybe this isn't the time to be going to bars.

I'd beg off the graduation party. Tell your friend how proud you are of his/her accomplishment and that you are taking him/her out to lunch next week to celebrate it.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Well done hearnerules!
It sounds like a reall challenge and a real victory on your side!!
You are the one taking decisions here... So far you seem to know yourself and have reacted very well. Try to visualise the kind of evening you are going to have not drinking. If you think it is going to be hell, there are hundreds of excuses to stay at home.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:52 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'll hopefully have good news to report on tonight. Im trying not to think about it. I'm obligated to go to the graduation but I am going to try and disappear early. Think I might pull the "I feel sick card" so I dont have to explain whats going on. Most of these people don't know I quit drinking or why yet and tonight really isnt the night to go into all that with them.

Thanks for the support!
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Old 08-06-2010, 07:16 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I would go with the "I feel sick" card. You don't need to tell people yet, especially not a big group in a bar;-)

Stay strong! You can do it!
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Old 08-06-2010, 07:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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If you're going to be in a situation where you may feel uncomfortable, make sure you have an escape plan. The "I'm not feeling so hot" line usually works well, and it helps to have your own ride so you can jump out when you need to and not wait on anyone. Good job saying no to the temptation last night; make sure you have a plan for tonight.
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Old 08-06-2010, 07:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm obligated to go to the graduation but I am going to try and disappear early. Think I might pull the "I feel sick card" so I dont have to explain whats going on.
That sounds like a good plan to me, Hearnerules.

It lets you be there for your friend at graduation and, most importantly, protects your sobriety.

Best wishes.
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Old 08-06-2010, 10:10 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm glad it didn't happen, we came along on SR about the same time. I would SO stay away from that, I mean at all costs. I'm having anxiety just imagining that!! Just advice, but take LF's suggestion, say your sick. Or have to work. Or an old friend is in town. Or anything!!!
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Old 08-06-2010, 10:31 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Why are we so afraid to just be assertive? It's succumbing to peer pressure. I was tempted with wine the other night because "no thanks" seemed awkward - but stuck to my guns and no one gave a crap.
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Old 08-06-2010, 10:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Skip it if you can, but if you have to go, show up late and leave early.

I have found that showing up after the party is in gear is easier for me. Seeing a bunch of people after they are already buzzed is a different experience than watching them get buzzed and feeling deprived. They are not nearly as attractive, charming, or humorous as they think they are. I find it a real turn-off and in 15 minutes I am eyeballing the door.

Good luck and stay strong.
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Old 08-06-2010, 11:17 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Glad you didn't blow it, but I would, as was suggested, listen to that voice. I would not be going near a bar right now. I am 9 weeks sober today, and it is not worth the risk for me. A restaurant with a bar that serves alcohol is scary enough for me, although I think I could do it so long as I was not in the bar. . .but a bar? at the bar? No thanks. Not for me right now.
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Old 08-06-2010, 01:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Ya I know I should avoid these high pressure spots (bars, clubs, etc) but feel obligated to go to this graduation celebration. I am going to drive and leave early. I have been telling people I have to get up to leave town tomorrow morning at 6am which will give me a good excuse.

And yes I agree, Im not mentally ready to be in a high pressure spot yet. Thanks for the help
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Old 08-06-2010, 04:07 PM   #15 (permalink)
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OK, well, having a good plan firmly in place greatly reduces the risk. Go late, leave early, own keys/car, excuse prepared.

Best wishes to the grad.
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Old 08-06-2010, 05:27 PM   #16 (permalink)
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WOW - I think that would have been hard for anyone. You should be very pleased with yourself for not giving in.

I agree with everyone about leaving the party before it gets to the party phase. Just knowing that you're not going to be there very long should help you get through it. I think a little exposure can be good for us. We gain confidence in ourselves. But you learned how important it is not to push the limits, too. Go with your gut and feel good about what you're doing for yourself.
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