tabata

f*ck me damnit, i give up, i sort of knew this was coming.

so i got off alchohol almost a year ago and it's been the most positive thing in my life besides my daughter. strangly enough my wife, daughter of an alchoholic just didn't offer a ton of support and i got over it, no biggie.

i am a different person now, i admit that, much much happier but also much more results oriented.

so now i hear "you have no idea how much i have been thinking about leaving you."

damn, not really sure what to say, don't know if this is the right place for this but ya'll have been so supportive.

i don't even know what to say anymore.

this won't make me pick up the bottle, no way but it just sucks.

thanks for listening.

suki44883

Hmmm....well, you could ask her if she could expand on that a bit. I mean, that's a hell of a thing to just toss out there. Have the two of you talked out this or were you more or less blind-sided?

least

That DOES suck, but it's good that you won't drink over it. What a shock that must have been, an ugly surprise. I hope it all works out well for you in some way or another. Congrats on your sober time!

tabata

i know, we need to get way under it. it was a blindside, i knew we needed to work on our relationship but had no idea she was thinking these things.

Anna

I think it's not not unusual for the issues in our lives to come to the forefront when we begin to recover and heal. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but know that you have lots of support here.

Opivotal

Tabatha,

Sounds like its time to have a long discussion with your wife and find out whats up. Don't know how long you've been married but these issues come up from time to time.

Its time to pay attention! I hope you two can work this out. I wish you the best.

NewMe11109

Sorry. All you can do is to focus on your side of the street. If you owe an amends, then do it. But, in the end, we can't control other people.

Has she gone to Alanon before? You might want to read the Big Book Chapter "The Family Afterward" as it discusses some of these topics.

tabata

thanks so much, very helpful.

the whole thing really has me upside down.

we are going to counselling

i can agree with her that i have probalby over corrected on some things since i quit drinking.

quitting has had such a profound affect on my person,on who i am now, it's amazing and very scary at the same time. what a terrible thing alchohol is (f*ck that sh*t damnit!, really).

i have to admit i could see that when we tried to communicate we weren't "reaching each other" and i don't know why. so from that perspective i saw some "work" coming up, but by no means did i ever dream she was thinking these things. she aggreed to counselling right away, that lifted my heart.


anyway, thanks again and i understand we all have difficult phases in life, we've been together 15 years and entering our 40's and i am not going to let this marriage fall apart.

Mark75

Very good sign that she's agreed to counseling, she was probably just expressing her frustration at whatever is ailing your relationship...

Sometimes, well, a lot of times, crisis precipitates change... it sounds like a change for the better, for you and her, is likely.

checkmybrain

Wow, that's a kick in the groin for sure. I have been down that road, luckily for me it worked out, but with comprimise of course. Ironic thing is, my wife likes me better when I'm drinking, more easy going I guess.

I'm glad to hear you aren't turning to the bottle in this situation, and the counseling is very good.

I wish you all the best, if you are both willing it will work out.

CarolD

All my best as you remain sober
and your marriage begins to heal....

I'm a real simple woman....how about making it
a point to make her feel special and cherished daily?
Little things mean a lot....