Abuse without Addiction?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3
Abuse without Addiction?
Hi all,
I am wanting to stop the abuse before I become addicted - I smoke pot on the weekends and take pain pills once a week (usually on Saturdays). I also binge drink on alcohol on the weekends - I can stay sober during the week without a problem but when the weekend comes it's all over. I'm getting married and my wonderful partner to be also indulges in a similar manner (though he seems to have more control than I do). He's absolutely supportive in everything I do/try to do and know he would support me in giving up the pot and pain pills (and alcohol too if need be). But I also know that he doesn't desire to quit. I really want to quit before I hit rock bottom... thoughts/advice?
I am wanting to stop the abuse before I become addicted - I smoke pot on the weekends and take pain pills once a week (usually on Saturdays). I also binge drink on alcohol on the weekends - I can stay sober during the week without a problem but when the weekend comes it's all over. I'm getting married and my wonderful partner to be also indulges in a similar manner (though he seems to have more control than I do). He's absolutely supportive in everything I do/try to do and know he would support me in giving up the pot and pain pills (and alcohol too if need be). But I also know that he doesn't desire to quit. I really want to quit before I hit rock bottom... thoughts/advice?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome! I'm glad you found us!
If you are not addicted to alchol and drugs, then you simply need to stop.
If you can't stop using these things on weekends, then in my opinion you're addicted. Addiction isn't about how often we use alcohol/drugs, it's about what happens to us when we do. The label is not all that important. If you want to live a sober life, go for it!
If you are not addicted to alchol and drugs, then you simply need to stop.
If you can't stop using these things on weekends, then in my opinion you're addicted. Addiction isn't about how often we use alcohol/drugs, it's about what happens to us when we do. The label is not all that important. If you want to live a sober life, go for it!
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Sometimes labels such as abuse or addiction, can give people power to keep up the madness. If you are already doing pot, pain pills and alcohol every weekend, you probably already know your answer.
Keep reading around SR.....and welcome! I'm glad you're here.
Keep reading around SR.....and welcome! I'm glad you're here.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi NeedsBalance and welcome! This is a great place to come for support and learn from others' experiences. If you keep reading and posting, you'll find alot of ideas about how to stay clean and sober. Just admitting our problem and asking for help is a huge first step. Also, there's NA or AA for face-to-face support.
Congratuations on your upcoming marriage and I hope everything works out for you!
Congratuations on your upcoming marriage and I hope everything works out for you!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Needsbalance)))
Let me tell you where MY "abuse vs. addiction" took me. I abused alcohol..for years. Was involved with a functioning alcoholic. I drank to "put up" or "keep up" with him, and quite frankly, I drank like a fish, even got a DUI one night, but when our relationship ended, so did my drinking. Didn't miss it, could care less about it. Later on, if I wanted one beer, I could drink ONE beer..not drink again for months, didn't get drunk again.
Later on, I abused opiates. Same thing...abused the heck out of them. Built up a ridiculously high tolerance. I was a nurse, so had access to some potent meds. Got into trouble and went to AA. Quit them cold turkey...had no withdrawals, no cravings. I was done.
Almost 6 months later, met a guy who introduced me to crack. THAT brought me to my knees and I became a full-blown, homeless, street-walking crackhead in no time. Lost my nursing license, ended up in jail, the whole 9 yards.
My point is, I wished I had looked at WHY I was using the alcohol back when I did. It wasn't so much WHAT I was using, but why. I was trying to get "numb" for a reason. I didn't have a horrible childhood, or any of that, I just wasn't comfortable with ME. It took me losing practically everything, hitting a hard bottom, getting clean and relapsing before I finally dealt with the real issues.
Drinking and getting high (yeah, I took pills, smoked weed along with the drinking, when I was younger) didn't seem like a problem back then, but looking back on it now, I wish to he!! I'd been more aware of what COULD happen because I sure would have done something back then.
If you're not addicted, then by my experience it's no problem to quit. FWIW, I still have to take pain meds, on occasion, for a back problem. My dr. knows my history, only prescribes the bare minimum, and I take what's prescribed, and that's it. Because I've become an addict, I don't want to take ANYTHING that can get me high....too risky, so I stay away from anything that's "mood altering".
You never know when you're going to cross that line from "abusing" to "addicted" and once it's crossed, you can't go back.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Let me tell you where MY "abuse vs. addiction" took me. I abused alcohol..for years. Was involved with a functioning alcoholic. I drank to "put up" or "keep up" with him, and quite frankly, I drank like a fish, even got a DUI one night, but when our relationship ended, so did my drinking. Didn't miss it, could care less about it. Later on, if I wanted one beer, I could drink ONE beer..not drink again for months, didn't get drunk again.
Later on, I abused opiates. Same thing...abused the heck out of them. Built up a ridiculously high tolerance. I was a nurse, so had access to some potent meds. Got into trouble and went to AA. Quit them cold turkey...had no withdrawals, no cravings. I was done.
Almost 6 months later, met a guy who introduced me to crack. THAT brought me to my knees and I became a full-blown, homeless, street-walking crackhead in no time. Lost my nursing license, ended up in jail, the whole 9 yards.
My point is, I wished I had looked at WHY I was using the alcohol back when I did. It wasn't so much WHAT I was using, but why. I was trying to get "numb" for a reason. I didn't have a horrible childhood, or any of that, I just wasn't comfortable with ME. It took me losing practically everything, hitting a hard bottom, getting clean and relapsing before I finally dealt with the real issues.
Drinking and getting high (yeah, I took pills, smoked weed along with the drinking, when I was younger) didn't seem like a problem back then, but looking back on it now, I wish to he!! I'd been more aware of what COULD happen because I sure would have done something back then.
If you're not addicted, then by my experience it's no problem to quit. FWIW, I still have to take pain meds, on occasion, for a back problem. My dr. knows my history, only prescribes the bare minimum, and I take what's prescribed, and that's it. Because I've become an addict, I don't want to take ANYTHING that can get me high....too risky, so I stay away from anything that's "mood altering".
You never know when you're going to cross that line from "abusing" to "addicted" and once it's crossed, you can't go back.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 4
Please consider the path you may be heading down. I started in the same place you are. Just using pain pills here and there. I thought it was no big deal. Year or so later I made the worst mistake of my life and tried heroin... My life become one trip up to the city to get more. Everything in my life revolved around it. I would wake up scheming of ways to get money from anyone. Didnt matter if it was my best friend or family. I would have screwed anyone over for one more bag. Im not trying to get all after school special on you. I know that wont really work. I had heard all the stories before I took that leap off a tall building.... The ride down from the top has changed me in so many bad ways. All im saying is please, please think about it. I wish you all the best and hope that everything works out for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 37
Needsbalance,
you really need to listen to these folks, you need to do some soul searching, and you need to keep reading everyone's testimonials. My initial response to your post is that there is something going on deep inside. Please search and find out what it is or find out what it is not. Just writing here tells me you have some doubts.
You sound so young, don't be like me and at 50 just realizing the value of my life. Make sure you know who YOU are.
you really need to listen to these folks, you need to do some soul searching, and you need to keep reading everyone's testimonials. My initial response to your post is that there is something going on deep inside. Please search and find out what it is or find out what it is not. Just writing here tells me you have some doubts.
You sound so young, don't be like me and at 50 just realizing the value of my life. Make sure you know who YOU are.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
"You're right - It's addiction even if you don't do it every day - I guess the 'every day' moniker is what some use to justify that they're not addicts..."
Needs, I think that enables denial, but it is also a lack of understanding. Some people latch on to using every day quickly, others take years. People can go through half their life semi-realizing there is a problem, but not doing enough about it, like Moi.
It takes wanting to quit inside above everything else. If your fiance is not addicted, it could lead to complications between you - unless you are able to work it out. The reason I say that is that there may not be an understanding about the differences in experience. Some couples even go through periods where they put the substance back in front of the addict, even though they don't "want" them to be an addict. It's a codependency issue, I think.
I could go on with my speculations, but your question is a loaded one, you can take what works for you from the several answers you find here. Hope it works out for you. I think it is a good idea to roam through the site as often as you can while you look into this.
Needs, I think that enables denial, but it is also a lack of understanding. Some people latch on to using every day quickly, others take years. People can go through half their life semi-realizing there is a problem, but not doing enough about it, like Moi.
It takes wanting to quit inside above everything else. If your fiance is not addicted, it could lead to complications between you - unless you are able to work it out. The reason I say that is that there may not be an understanding about the differences in experience. Some couples even go through periods where they put the substance back in front of the addict, even though they don't "want" them to be an addict. It's a codependency issue, I think.
I could go on with my speculations, but your question is a loaded one, you can take what works for you from the several answers you find here. Hope it works out for you. I think it is a good idea to roam through the site as often as you can while you look into this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi needsbalance
I started as a 'weekend warrior' too...Friday night til Sunday afternoon was just madness...then I stopped for the rest of the week...until I started having a few drinks on a Tues or Wednesday...or getting off early on Fri, taking Monday off...
I ended up, many years later, and all day everyday drinker.
I think you're wise to think about this now. I didn't act until it was nearly too late - I wasted 20 years of my life.
I don't know if you're open to going to a recovery group like AA/NA, but I hope at least you stick around here
Welcome!
D
I started as a 'weekend warrior' too...Friday night til Sunday afternoon was just madness...then I stopped for the rest of the week...until I started having a few drinks on a Tues or Wednesday...or getting off early on Fri, taking Monday off...
I ended up, many years later, and all day everyday drinker.
I think you're wise to think about this now. I didn't act until it was nearly too late - I wasted 20 years of my life.
I don't know if you're open to going to a recovery group like AA/NA, but I hope at least you stick around here
Welcome!
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Easton
Welcome to you too
You may want to start a new thread - either here, or perhaps over in our substance abuse forum
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You'll get more responses that way
D
Welcome to you too
You may want to start a new thread - either here, or perhaps over in our substance abuse forum
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You'll get more responses that way
D
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