a fallen man

july 8th will be 10 months for me.

i've given periodic updates.

i haven't vomitted in over 9 months...used to every morning...even if only bile or water.

food tastes better. i put on about 15 needed pounds but have held steady since the second month.

i'm in the best shape physically i've been in 10 years. not really for running as i'm not a runner but muscle-wise. i don't work out but i've been doing a lot of work on my house. digging postholes by hand....putting up a swimming pool fence. what we call getting 'country strong' in these parts.

i had let so many things go on my casa and i've worked on them a ton in the last 9 months.

still coaching youth baseball but without a possible smell of vodka on my breath. i never did it drunk but i have to admit i'd lube up sometimes.

last night my youngest son had a bunch of his friends (16-18 years old) over for a swimming party and he didn't have to deal with a passed out dad on the sofa. i felt so good about that as i helped him cut some wood for a fire late last night.

today i looked out my office window around 10:00 and watched 2 cops give a guy a field sobriety test and they took him away. 10:00 in the morning...i felt bad for the guy but he shouldn't have been driving...and how bad are you driving to get pulled over that time of day?

i went through every pain that all the newcomers are talking about today. this page was my godsend. i got sober by all of the good folks on here giving me support any time i posted. just wanted to check in and give back to this wonderful place.

i was flat out a vodka drunk....if i could do it anyone can. it's amazing the clarity i think with these days.

love to all,

david.

PizzaChef

Thanks so much! I'm not through the first week yet and I'm devouring all the "it get's better" posts. I can only imagine how you must have felt waking up after your son's party and not only remembering it all - but the memories being good ones! I have a lot of that to make up for too. Congratulations and well done! xx

AWOL

Thank you for the great post and congrats on coming this far! It's always great to hear how your sobriety helps others too ... especially your kids.

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for posting man.

Peace

TwelveSteps

Thank you so much for your post.

I relapsed and can't stop vomiting today and your "i haven't vomitted in over 9 months...used to every morning...even if only bile or water" held a particular appeal for me. It might help me to stay sober today.

Congratulations and thank you.

GG

Kjell

Great post and congrats!

Severian

Excellent post, thanks!

hendershot

mmm bile and water. Don't you miss that taste?

Seriously though, congrats!

coffeenut

Stepping back and appreciating Sobriety....feels just great, doesn't it?!

a fallen man

thanks to all....hendershot....lol...no i don't miss that taste. it was a price i accepted to drink at the level i did. it's your body's way of saying 'hey idiot...i don't like this'

as good as i felt about being there for my youngest son it did slap me in the face for all of the times my oldest son had friends over (he's 23) during h.s. and college and i'd be passed out on the sofa.

his friends gave me the nickname of 'the thinker' hence the reason for my avatar. he says it never bothered him that all of his friends parents are some level of drunks but i don't buy it.

i feel a terrible guilt over it. i know i can't go back in time (like michael j. fox could) and change it. but i'm there for him now as he is in young adulthood. i'm helping him get a house ready to move in for him and his fiancee.

i can't believe any of us don't have major regrets and guilts about what drinking robbed us of but we just can do for the future and right now mine has been good to my family. really to everyone around me. work, ballclub, everyone. thanks for all of the kind words again.

i just wanted to let everyone know they could do it if i could.

david.

coffeenut

Most if not all of my guilt revolves/revolved around my children. They claim they rarely saw me drunk...I was just a very good alcoholic, could hide anything. In all actuality, they rarely saw me sober.

Like you have said, I can't go back and redo what I should have done right the first time. I can however, make a conscience effort to make the future as different from the past as possible. And, in some way, I just might help someone else. I hope so.

Best wishes to you. I hope you post more often!

least

Big and congrats on your ten months sober! It's a good feeling to feel so good, isn't it?

a fallen man

least my amigo....yes it feels GREAT.

and hola neo....glad to see you're still kicking around and my amiga endzoner too.

i should get on here more often. i know i lived on here the first few months. heck....the first couple weeks i didn't leave. i may not have posted much but just reading people who had done it gave me the strength to make it through.

and it wasn't easy at first. it sucked. but it does get easier every day. i really stay busy with the baseball and the working on the pool and house.

the extra money in the paycheck is a very nice side benefit.

i am a very content man right now. i don't let stuff bother me much anymore. part of that i'm sure is just due to the aging process. i don't 'deadline' a bunch of stuff and put pressure on myself.

i'm very happy to see some of the folks that gave me hope on here. you guys rock fo' sho'.

porkchopped

I love me a great comeback story!!!

Thanks!

tallcactus

Love posts like this!
Really needed to hear this tonight.
Thank You.

likeastone

thank you so much for that perspective! it makes me want to keep working at staying sober.