Bored3

Hi all, yet again I'm here and I just feel awakened. I've tried to give up a couple of times before but I feel a lot more focused this time. I've been getting further and further but I know that I could well end up killing myself and all for a buzz. There hasn't been a wake up call necessarily, I didn't wake up hungover this morning despite drinking last night but it just isn't fun anymore, it's just habit.

So I'm halfway through Day 1 and this has always been the easy bit, I just need to do this, I'm sick of living this life. The only problems I can see (well, not the only obviously) are what I'm going to do socially. It's hard to think I'll never order a pint of lager again, or visit an off licence. I know that I am strong enough to do this, I'm not the first and won't be the last, I just hope I can do it this time.

I feel shaky and a bit sick but I don't care, I need to carry on and live life without being arrested by this or anything else.

Thanks

least

Good for you! Take it one day at a time and don't pick up that first drink! You CAN do this. Do you have support with family and friends? Have you considered going to AA or some other sobriety program? I stay sober with a combination of some AA meetings, counseling once a week, and coming here every day.

I wish you the best. Living sober really rocks!

Anna

Hi,

I'm glad you're here and trying again!

Bored3

Thanks for the words people

AA meetings are slim pickings around here I'm afraid. The first thing I did was tell my immediate family and friends, something I haven't done before, as I thought this would give me a sort of boost.

Hopefully for the last time.

augustwest

Congratulations on your decision! I wish you all the best on your journey. For me, needing to and wanting to are not the same thing. I had to want this way of life and be willing to do whatever it takes to get it(just like i was with the drugs) in order for this to work. I knew i needed to get clean for years before i finally gave up the fight and illusion of control and wanted recovery. May you find that desire!

Kmber2010

Glad you aren't drinking and know that it will get better. So glad to see you posting!!! I am doing SR and counseling and like you relapsed and am now stronger then I was at my first go.

Just take it one day at a time and don't drink. Then work your recovery as though your life depends on it - because it does.

Keep posting!!

Dee74

Welcome back Bored.
I hope last time can be your last time too.

I hope telling the people in your life will make a difference for you.

That, and a lot of hard work and commitment and posting here, certainly helped me.

But don't be afraid to add stuff like AA or counselling if you still find it difficult - even if they're hard to access, it's better than ending up at day 1 again

D

artsoul

Hi Bored - Try not to think about "what's it going to be like" down the road and focus on being sober today. I've had a better social life since I stopped a month ago, and it doesn't take me days to recover! Your real friends will like you just as much for who you are, even if you don't drink. Being sober doesn't mean not ever having fun.

Focus on yourself today and give yourself a pat on the back for hanging in there!

Bored3

Night of Day 2.

Went to a relative's, turned down a drink. When asked if I'm sure, I just said I'm not drinking.

crystal67

Well done you!!! It cant be easy being in that position so early into your recovery...

....but you did it...and you can do it again!! Stay strong

Day 4 almost over for me, bring on day 5!

All the best
Crystal

Bored3

Evening of Day 3

Hard a hard time of it before, felt like I really wanted a drink for the first real strong time, it seems to have passed now thankfully. It was the first time I thought to myself "I can just have a few, I'm still young and need to enjoy myself". I know it's as stupid thing to think and I know that now but I didn't an hour ago.

I really hope this passes.

I think it's because it was like 6PM and I've done nothing all day, "it's been a pointless day, I'll just get drunk and then start doing things tomorrow once it's out of my system". This is the mentality I get at times and I hate it. I really want to quit.

Kmber2010

Good for you Bored. Yeah.....those thoughts tend to creep in and we are quite vulnerable in early sobriety.

Just know that you can't. Alcoholics can not have a few, moderate or control the beast. Just refuse to give in.

Hang in and get support. Keep posting friend.

sobermax

Hi Bored,

congratulations on finding your way here, it is a fantastic source of support and strength.

Are you taking any other steps besides visiting SR? Most people seem to agree that support groups are a very good way to help you to maintain sobriety by addressing the underlying issues. Alone, it can be very difficult to keep one's resolve when you start feeling better.

Please keep visiting and posting, and good luck.

Max

artsoul

I've had those thoughts myself, but then I think what if I let myself drink even for "just one night," what would happen in a few days? Giving in won't take the monkey off our back. It just feeds it and makes it harder to resist the next time.

I have to look at it this way: every minute that I don't drink, I'm doing something different than what I've done before. If I "practice" enough, I might get very good at being a sober individual! Even if I don't care about staying sober at the moment, I will when I wake up tomorrow...................

Hang in there - you can do it!:ghug3

Andi

Hey Bored,

Just here showing my support, welcome back!

Bored3

Thanks everyone

I know you're right, deep down I know, but God this is the worst I've felt...

Bored3

Checking in here on the night of Day 4

Had a productive day, haven't stopped really which has helped. Had a bad meeting/argument with somebody, followed by a visit to the pub, stayed on soft drinks while my friend drank alcohol, felt fine actually.

Only other twinge was passing the shop at around 10pm, for a split second thought about it and then walked on.

Hoping things are getting better

least

I've always found the physical/uncomfortable/sick part of w/d lasts several days and then I start feeling more human again. Stick with it. It WILL get better, I promise.

Bored3

Day 5

Drank. Feel ashamed. Didn't enjoy it. Don't know where to go from here.