Luthin

Ive been trying to quit drinking so i can live a normal life. I drank tonight. And now i feel awful. If i were doing it just for myself, I would have given up by now. But if I continue with this, I'll lose my love. so this is my promise. I'm going to reform myself. I'll die if I lose her. I must do this. Please help me.

ninja7

Hi, Luthin! You are just being in right time and right place in the internet now. Read and write in SR. There are lots of good person here. If you need further support, I recommend you go to AA in your local.

Dee74

Hi Luthin

I tried quitting for partners too - I didn't make it....twice.
I didn't quit until I wanted to quit for myself.

You must have a long list of reasons you want to quit - reasons for you?

D

Shygirl

Luthin you and I are on the same boat...I also drank yesterday...and I also tryed to hide it from my husband....the insanity of all this is that I've been working on my sobriety for years....I use to go on 10day binges...now I find myself doing 2 or 3 day binges and maybe a week or two sober....I know that one day I'll wake up and all of this will be behide me....all just a memory. I need my sobriety, my sanity,.....I have not lost hope.....I do find myself closer to God......Spiritualism has helped me alot.....Let's keep trying!!!!!!!

Toronto68

I don't know if it's because I am not with anyone or not, but I don't think quitting for someone else is a reason that works. It's a good reason, and probably at the top of the list for many people. (Kids is another.) But the person using the substance is the one with the relationship with the substance. I think the reason and impetus for quitting has to be in the body and brain of the person who is living with the addiction. The answer is somewhere inside there.

Horselover

You can totally do this, but as Dee said, list some reasons on why you want to quit. There were countless reasons I wanted to quit and as Toronto said, kids or more specifically, my son, was at the top. As I counted my sober days and got out of the fog that alcohol put me in I realized I had to fine other reasons then my son and boy did I. Reading around here helped in the biggest way too. If you get sober for your partner and you don't get the accolades from your partner that you feel you deserve then you harbor resentment. When you have resentment you are on a step going back to the Hell you came from.

Make a list and find gratitude in your day. It works.

Taking5

I am with Dee. I have shared on a couple of posts here at SR that I am a single never married man at 48 because the 2 women I have loved in my life were smart enough not to marry a drunk. Way after both of those relationships were toast, I decided to sober up for myself. Now, at least if I meet someone I am interested in, I feel I actually have something to offer.

artsoul

Hi Luthin - Glad you're here! This is a great place to find information and support. I was pretty desperate when I came here too, because I simply couldn't stop for more than a couple days. With the help of SR, I've been sober over a month. You really can do this. Keep posting and reading!!

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. You can quit. Your life CAN be better. But you have to want to do it....please stick around. Read and post a lot.

coming_clean

welcome,

keep posting...

Freeport

I quit for a lot of people, mostly citing my kids during my early days. Still when I'm laying in bed at the end of the day thanking the good Lord for another day of sobriety, I'm not thinking of my wife, kids, coworkers, extended family, pets, or anyone else other than ME. Everyone else benefits from my sobriety and for that I'm extraordinarily thankful, but ultimately it's me who doesn't go to bed hating himself for drinking or dreading waking up hungover. I guess there's a hearty helping of selfishness there, but so what if it keeps me sober?

Another term that I struggled with before I became sober is "normal" drinkers. These folks that supposedly can have one or two, then happily move on with their lives for weeks in between. That's great, and I know such people exist; however, I think they're fewer and farther between than the beer and liquor companies would have us believe. Most people I considered "normal" drinkers before now strike me as on a slippery slope for serious problems, especially DUIs.

Quit for her Luthin if it gets you immediately sober, but trust me: In a few days or weeks your sobriety will become more and more a gift to yourself.

yeahgr8

Ive know people that have come into the rooms of AA for somebody else and then have stayed for themselves...and are still with their partners!