Deb67

Thanks for asking Gardner. I'm feeling a bit better this morning. I visited a friend last night who talked me into joining this site and I'm so glad she did. All the advice and support is really helpful. I have a 3 1/2 hour drive home this morning, so I won't be drinking today. Hopefully, I will still be okay when I get home. At least it'll be 2 days I haven't slept and drank all day. I'm planning to stop at the store so I can pick up some groceries and get back to eating better and taking my vitamins again. I will check back in to SR tonight and maybe keep the momemtum going. Thanks again.

coffeenut

Glad you are here, Deb.

coming_clean

welcome....keep posting....

artsoul

Hi Deb! Just wanted to encourage you to hang in there today!

You said that for the past year, you've had a hard time staying sober for more than a day. I don't know if this applies to you, but I know how I used to be: I would drink, say OK I really have a problem, stay sober for a couple days, and then the minute I got to feeling really good again I would forget all about wanting to change. I swore off alcohol a bazillion times until I finally realized I really wasn't in control anymore and came to SR for support.

Anyway - Have a safe drive home, and check in with us tonight!!

gardner

Hope you had a safe drive home.

seeker7

Welcome Deb! It's great how you're taking action right away and staying connected to SR. It made all the difference for me!

yeahgr8

I did the self help books thing when i was 25, locked myself away in Spain for a few months...your post reminded me of that time...i was even praying everyday, problem was i was still praying to the God of thunder and lightening, the one who smites entire cities so he was defo after me...what a load of rubbish that was...all the crap that i had picked up in Sunday school...amazing!

Anyways i always felt like you at AA meetings, they say that the alcoholic will always look for an easier, softer way and i did for years...'tried' everything...defo didnt want to go to AA though cos i felt soooo uncomfortable i just stared at the table in the very few meetings i did attend...

I wonder if thats why i didnt go or whether i didnt really want to stop drinking etc looking back...i always kind of knew that AA had an answer, in fact when i did my 5 month dry stint end of 2008 i would come to SR and recommend AA to new people on the site even though i didnt go...interesting...who knows?

I finally did get to AA last year, desperate and hopeless..had nowhere else to go...tried everything else!

Worked the steps and got a spiritual awkening as promised. the funnieest thing for me was to learn that God (My higher power of my understanding) had always been keeping an eye out for me and he didnt hate me and i wasnt going to burn in hell lol And that i wasnt the piece of **** that i thought i was...no more just dont look at me...

Hope you find a way pretty quick:-)

Oh yeah the loneliness thing goes too, it is lonely out there, i can relate very much to your post, especially when you haven't even got you because you are the very last person you want to spend any time with...