Day 69 and Feeling Fine
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Day 69 and Feeling Fine
Tomorrow will complete my 10th week without a drink. Never before went more than 5 weeks without a drink (and then only once) since I was 15. And this site has been a really big part of that.
I don't post as much as I did that first month. I don't go to as many meetings either. But in those early days, if I wasn't in the rooms, I was on these boards. I had to be. I didn't know how to live without a drink. I drank with everything I did. Even when I just sat on the couch and watched TV or messed around on the Internet, I drank. So I needed to fill my time with talking and learning about my affliction, and here I was. Now I'm finding other things to do. I have re-discovered the fun things in life that I used to enjoy before I became a sloppy drunk, and I'm finding new things.
In these 69 days I've learned that I'm not a horrible person. I may have done really bad things, and it's going to take me quite a while to make up for those (some of which I likely can't make up for), but I can be a much better person when I eliminate alcohol from my life. It may not have caused all of my problems, but it was the way I dealt with them, and it sure made things a lot worse. And, yeah, it did cause a lot of problems. If I begin to feel overwhelmed and think I want a drink, I try to keep it simple. I know that my life is better without alcohol in it, so why would I ever want to make a decision to do something that would interfere with my life being better? Why would I drink when I know it's bad for me and will eventually, whether tomorrow in an accident or years from now in liver failure, end my life? I just can't do that to myself or the people around me.
I have a lot of help. Number 1 is my higher power, my God. Without that in my life, to help guide me and inform my decision making, I'd be lost and still on the booze. AA has been tremendous. I haven't been working the program as I should, but I think a lot of that has to do with my sponsor (not placing blame here, I just think perhaps I need a bit more prodding and he's not that type of guy). I'm going to work on that. Had a good talk about it last night, and now that I'm OK not drinking, I'm ready to really dive into the Step work. My fiancee has been great. I put her through what had to be Hell for almost 7 years. She knew I loved her and knew I could be a good person, and I told her those things all the time, but now she sees action behind the words. She's very much happier than she was 3 months ago. I have a great family and friends. I was worried that some of my friends would try to get me to go out and drink with them, but for the most part the reaction has been nothing but really positive. They knew how much I drank, and the ones closest to me keep telling me how really proud they are. That's a great motivator to keep going. And I made the Dean's List. Back in college full time after a 6-year hiatus, and I got the highest GPA (3.5) I'd ever gotten in a semester. What an awesome feeling.
And Sober Recovery. Even when I don't have time to respond to everyone I would like to, I can read the posts of my friends here as I'm falling asleep or before I dash out the door in the morning. Even when I'm not active on the site, you guys are helping me out by sharing of yourselves and by helping others. It makes my heart feel thankful when I see so many people on here trying to help other people that they will likely never meet in the "real world." It's just awesome to see the service that is done by people.
I feel better, I think better, I eat better, I love better, I speak better, I write better, I work better, I study better, I sleep better, I read (and remember) better, I wake up better, I exercise better, I drive better...It's just overall a better life. I think I'd like to keep that going for a while.
I don't post as much as I did that first month. I don't go to as many meetings either. But in those early days, if I wasn't in the rooms, I was on these boards. I had to be. I didn't know how to live without a drink. I drank with everything I did. Even when I just sat on the couch and watched TV or messed around on the Internet, I drank. So I needed to fill my time with talking and learning about my affliction, and here I was. Now I'm finding other things to do. I have re-discovered the fun things in life that I used to enjoy before I became a sloppy drunk, and I'm finding new things.
In these 69 days I've learned that I'm not a horrible person. I may have done really bad things, and it's going to take me quite a while to make up for those (some of which I likely can't make up for), but I can be a much better person when I eliminate alcohol from my life. It may not have caused all of my problems, but it was the way I dealt with them, and it sure made things a lot worse. And, yeah, it did cause a lot of problems. If I begin to feel overwhelmed and think I want a drink, I try to keep it simple. I know that my life is better without alcohol in it, so why would I ever want to make a decision to do something that would interfere with my life being better? Why would I drink when I know it's bad for me and will eventually, whether tomorrow in an accident or years from now in liver failure, end my life? I just can't do that to myself or the people around me.
I have a lot of help. Number 1 is my higher power, my God. Without that in my life, to help guide me and inform my decision making, I'd be lost and still on the booze. AA has been tremendous. I haven't been working the program as I should, but I think a lot of that has to do with my sponsor (not placing blame here, I just think perhaps I need a bit more prodding and he's not that type of guy). I'm going to work on that. Had a good talk about it last night, and now that I'm OK not drinking, I'm ready to really dive into the Step work. My fiancee has been great. I put her through what had to be Hell for almost 7 years. She knew I loved her and knew I could be a good person, and I told her those things all the time, but now she sees action behind the words. She's very much happier than she was 3 months ago. I have a great family and friends. I was worried that some of my friends would try to get me to go out and drink with them, but for the most part the reaction has been nothing but really positive. They knew how much I drank, and the ones closest to me keep telling me how really proud they are. That's a great motivator to keep going. And I made the Dean's List. Back in college full time after a 6-year hiatus, and I got the highest GPA (3.5) I'd ever gotten in a semester. What an awesome feeling.
And Sober Recovery. Even when I don't have time to respond to everyone I would like to, I can read the posts of my friends here as I'm falling asleep or before I dash out the door in the morning. Even when I'm not active on the site, you guys are helping me out by sharing of yourselves and by helping others. It makes my heart feel thankful when I see so many people on here trying to help other people that they will likely never meet in the "real world." It's just awesome to see the service that is done by people.
I feel better, I think better, I eat better, I love better, I speak better, I write better, I work better, I study better, I sleep better, I read (and remember) better, I wake up better, I exercise better, I drive better...It's just overall a better life. I think I'd like to keep that going for a while.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,834
Congrats on reaching ten weeks sober!
It is amazing how much better things get when we put down the alcohol. I am happy for you and glad you posted such a positive and inspiring message.
It is amazing how much better things get when we put down the alcohol. I am happy for you and glad you posted such a positive and inspiring message. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Thanks for the insightful, honest and well-written post! (I post better...)
I am right behind you on day 58, and I am so looking forward to getting that 60 day chip.
You are inspirational to me today and I appreciate it Snarf. So happy for you + fiancee!
Soph
I am right behind you on day 58, and I am so looking forward to getting that 60 day chip.
You are inspirational to me today and I appreciate it Snarf. So happy for you + fiancee!
Soph
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 83
Hey Snarf, way to go man! 60+ days is awesome. I'm glad you have friends and family for support, I know for me, every time I give it a go, the fear of "giving up alcohol" is quickly replaced with the fear of "living with myself sober". They are two big hurdles for me to overcome. It's great to read your posts, and be able to relate, you're helping this old drunk a lot. Keep up the good work.
Cheers
Lithobid
Cheers
Lithobid
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Snarf 
I feel better, I think better, I eat better, I love better, I speak better, I write better, I work better, I study better, I sleep better, I read (and remember) better, I wake up better, I exercise better, I drive better...It's just overall a better life. I think I'd like to keep that going for a while.
One thing I can promise you, as you make your way through the Steps is that it will just get better and better.
Well done on your sober time
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Snarf prod him some more...please keep letting us know how you get on...
Really happy for you man, good stuff:-)
I love your avatar by the way i can't help but smile, i always suspected Snarf was on something, i thought would be coke or speed never would have guessed he was one of us;-)
Really happy for you man, good stuff:-)
I love your avatar by the way i can't help but smile, i always suspected Snarf was on something, i thought would be coke or speed never would have guessed he was one of us;-)
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Originally Posted by yeahgr8
I love your avatar by the way i can't help but smile, i always suspected Snarf was on something, i thought would be coke or speed never would have guessed he was one of us;-)
And thanks to everyone for your awesome comments. If it wasn't for all you really cool people, there wouldn't really be a reason to be here. Thanks for all the help and strength you give to me and to all the people here, especially those on the Newcomer forum who are in the greatest and most urgent need. This place really is a Blessing for all of us.
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