Had a drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: SOUTH,LA
Posts: 59
Had a drink
Had a drink....just one and it wasnt my normal poison. Thats it.....didnt get plowed stopped at one. Should I start my date over? Actually I was drinking green tea helping my wife do some computer work. She went to refill my tea and put a shot of cc with water. Looked the same to me till I tasted it. I said what are you doing she said I have done so good I deserved it. Well did I blow it? Start over or continue on?
Thanks in advance,
Lazyboy
Thanks in advance,
Lazyboy
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,915
Continue on what? Drinking? No, you should tell your wife not to do that again. You should continue NOT to drink. Did you drink the entire cup or stop after you realized what she had done? You also might encourage your wife to learn about alcoholism. Would she give a peanut butter sandwich to someone allergic to peanuts?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: SOUTH,LA
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by suki44883 
Continue on what? Drinking? No, you should tell your wife not to do that again. You should continue NOT to drink. Did you drink the entire cup or stop after you realized what she had done? You also might encourage your wife to learn about alcoholism. Would she give a peanut butter sandwich to someone allergic to peanuts?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,915
Whether or not to start a new sobriety date is totally up to you. If you stopped after you realized there was alcohol in the drink, I'd keep the same date, but if you drank the entire cup knowing it contained alcohol, I'd start a new date. But, like I said, it's up to you.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Definitely agree with what Suki said, BUT if it makes you throw in the towel because you have to start over then do not. I think whatever gets your mind through it and makes you move forward is the road I would take.
As for your wife, you need to have a serious, long talk with her. You no longer celebrate sobriety with "a" drink. You find other ways of celebrating. Make of lists of other ways and give her that so in the future she can refer to it when wanting to make notice of your accomplishment.
As for your wife, you need to have a serious, long talk with her. You no longer celebrate sobriety with "a" drink. You find other ways of celebrating. Make of lists of other ways and give her that so in the future she can refer to it when wanting to make notice of your accomplishment.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by Horselover
Definitely agree with what Suki said, BUT if it makes you throw in the towel because you have to start over then do not. I think whatever gets your mind through it and makes you move forward is the road I would take.
As for your wife, you need to have a serious, long talk with her. You no longer celebrate sobriety with "a" drink. You find other ways of celebrating. Make of lists of other ways and give her that so in the future she can refer to it when wanting to make notice of your accomplishment.
As for your wife, you need to have a serious, long talk with her. You no longer celebrate sobriety with "a" drink. You find other ways of celebrating. Make of lists of other ways and give her that so in the future she can refer to it when wanting to make notice of your accomplishment.
Lazyboy, lots of us can have one or two drinks and *force* ourselves to stop for a little while. Before you know it we're back to our old tricks though..
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Lazyboy, I don't understand why your wife would do this. I hope that if you continue to abstain you will discuss this with her and she can help you stay (completely!) dry. Good luck. As for days, I really have no idea but would second the others who say you should do whatever helps you most.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: SOUTH,LA
Posts: 59
13 days...I'm sticking with that.....If I fall off the wagon and get drunk I'll start over......aint gonna happen! Thanks for your input gang your alot of help for me getting through this. Have a business social tomorrow night......wish me luck!
Peace,Lazyboy
Peace,Lazyboy
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
"Do or do not, there is no try" 
My sobriety date reflects the last time I drank..not the last time I drank til I was drunk.
Hopefully this doesn't snowball for you, and you start drinking often, and start deciding whether or not you're drunk from it..I know as much as I lied to myself when I was active, that would have been a recipe for disaster.
Doesn't really matter if your wife offers a drink, you'll choose to drink til you're done, like we all have. Be safe.
My sobriety date reflects the last time I drank..not the last time I drank til I was drunk.
Hopefully this doesn't snowball for you, and you start drinking often, and start deciding whether or not you're drunk from it..I know as much as I lied to myself when I was active, that would have been a recipe for disaster.
Doesn't really matter if your wife offers a drink, you'll choose to drink til you're done, like we all have. Be safe.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
If i knew what was in the cup and
took a drink....with intentions....
then my conscience, my gut,
speaks for itself.
If i didnt have a conscience or if
guilt or shame didnt bother me
then i would move on....
Those old ghosts keep popin
in to ever remind me of things
i did or do.
My conscience or gut never fails
me.
took a drink....with intentions....
then my conscience, my gut,
speaks for itself.
If i didnt have a conscience or if
guilt or shame didnt bother me
then i would move on....
Those old ghosts keep popin
in to ever remind me of things
i did or do.
My conscience or gut never fails
me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Sorry to hear what happened Lazy. Agree with others that you must have that chat with the wife. Ultimately it is on you to drink or not to drink but tippin a little booze into your tea......would flip me out. I am a bit tired tonight but you are in recovery and she is not supporting you by what she did. Sometimes we have to spell it out to our friends and loved ones who my not fully understand what we are dealing with.
As far as a restart date....well as others have posted....that is on you my friend. The fact you are concerned about the drink kinda answers the question. My sobriety date for me (I of course relapsed eventually from having one drink so I know I can't touch the stuff) is the date I tossed the boozed and chose 100% abstinence.
We are always here for you and know that living the sober life isn't about how many days, etc. They are markers for our journey but days do not define what and who we are. There is far more to our recovery then that.
All the best my friend and keep going and have that chat with your wife.
As far as a restart date....well as others have posted....that is on you my friend. The fact you are concerned about the drink kinda answers the question. My sobriety date for me (I of course relapsed eventually from having one drink so I know I can't touch the stuff) is the date I tossed the boozed and chose 100% abstinence.
We are always here for you and know that living the sober life isn't about how many days, etc. They are markers for our journey but days do not define what and who we are. There is far more to our recovery then that.
All the best my friend and keep going and have that chat with your wife.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Looking back at my drinking career I realise now every time I drank, whether I got drunk or not, I was feeding the beast.
There's drinking and there's recovery - you can't do both.
I'm not beating on you, but I really think it's important you, and your wife, realise that Lazyboy.
D
There's drinking and there's recovery - you can't do both.
I'm not beating on you, but I really think it's important you, and your wife, realise that Lazyboy.
D
Awakening
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Riverside, CA
Posts: 290
Originally Posted by smacked
"Do or do not, there is no try"
or would it be "Over Drinking Alcohol, You Are"?
And, yeah, that's kinda messed up giving you a drink for "doing good". There are lots of other rewards wifes can give which would be much better for your sobriety.
Rev
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
So, uh, you just want to forget what happened? That's what you are doing by keeping your original date of sobriety. You should not do that if you want to continue your recovery from alcoholism. What happened is very important to your recovery and you should not squander some important lessons....
Both you and your wife consider a drink a reward for a job well done...
Understandable, I always felt like that for as long as I can remember... I had to smash that feeling. It's hard work reconfiguring your reward apparatus, You need vigilance AND the help of your wife, or at least, not having those close to you sabotage your efforts to recover from alcoholism....
You detected alcohol in your drink, but drank it anyway.
Did you want to stop drinking or not... You had a drink in your hand that you knew was alcoholic yet you kept drinking from it... Again, absolutely understandable, that's what alcoholics do!! You should look very hard at that, what happened there? Was it OK because you wife gave it to you? If so, why? Are you defenseless against that first drink? If so, that's important to recognize... because there is a solution, a defense, but you must seek it.
It didn't count because you did not feel it.
That's a lie. Again, absolutely understandable... Oh my God.... how many drinks I have taken on top of more drinks that I didn't count because I didn't feel it... I mean, hell, drinking a beer at lunch... sometimes during my work day... it didn't count... I didn't feel it.... That's just a bunch of bullsh1t I told myself... I'm sure my co-workers and clients would have said... it's OK, you don't feel it, have another... riiiiiggghhhtttt!
Your date of sobriety is important only to yourself. It doesn't matter to me or anyone else.... So if that's true, why p1ss all over it and make it absolutely meaningless.
Instead, take some valuable lessons from what happened. Maybe this recovery thing is more than just not drinking, huh?
I am not trying to be intentionally mean, but the idea that your date of sobriety is what you say it is... well, that's true... What, though, do you want to build on? Firm soil or a swamp?
Mark
Both you and your wife consider a drink a reward for a job well done...
Understandable, I always felt like that for as long as I can remember... I had to smash that feeling. It's hard work reconfiguring your reward apparatus, You need vigilance AND the help of your wife, or at least, not having those close to you sabotage your efforts to recover from alcoholism....
You detected alcohol in your drink, but drank it anyway.
Did you want to stop drinking or not... You had a drink in your hand that you knew was alcoholic yet you kept drinking from it... Again, absolutely understandable, that's what alcoholics do!! You should look very hard at that, what happened there? Was it OK because you wife gave it to you? If so, why? Are you defenseless against that first drink? If so, that's important to recognize... because there is a solution, a defense, but you must seek it.
It didn't count because you did not feel it.
That's a lie. Again, absolutely understandable... Oh my God.... how many drinks I have taken on top of more drinks that I didn't count because I didn't feel it... I mean, hell, drinking a beer at lunch... sometimes during my work day... it didn't count... I didn't feel it.... That's just a bunch of bullsh1t I told myself... I'm sure my co-workers and clients would have said... it's OK, you don't feel it, have another... riiiiiggghhhtttt!
Your date of sobriety is important only to yourself. It doesn't matter to me or anyone else.... So if that's true, why p1ss all over it and make it absolutely meaningless.
Instead, take some valuable lessons from what happened. Maybe this recovery thing is more than just not drinking, huh?
I am not trying to be intentionally mean, but the idea that your date of sobriety is what you say it is... well, that's true... What, though, do you want to build on? Firm soil or a swamp?
Mark
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