BusyBe

so I will be hitting 30 days on tuesday. Overall I have to say its been pretty easy. The only time it gets a lil rough with cravings is when I go out to dinner and want a glass of wine or a martini. Its a social thing for me I think because I dont wake up and crave, I dont find myself wanting to drink when Im home alone, and I have had dinner at home and my father-in-law will have a beer in front of me and Im fine. Im so confused about my level of abuse. I should probably see a therapist maybe after a life long story they can help me sort out this crazy tangled ball of mess.

Dee74

Hi BusyBe

Congrats on 30 days. I'm so pleased it's been pretty smooth sailing for you.

I've had many detoxes and many goes at sobriety....they were all pretty different - some were hell but others were surprisingly easy - I don;t know why that is.

Just continue to be on your guard tho - it was always the easier ones that were the worst for me...they got me thinking 'well, maybe I wasn't so bad after all'....

D

Rev

I'm on Day 12 now, and for the first 10 days or so, it was pretty easy for me as well. The last couple days, I've felt that familiar itch I can only scratch with beer. I'm not giving in, but it's odd the way it sneaks up on you. I expected to have cravings when I was stressed out. Instead, they found me when I was feeling really charged up and good. Be on your guard, as Dee said, and hopefully the days ahead will remain easy for you to deal with as well.

Congrats.

Rev

doda

Hi BusyBe

I'm on day 112 and agree that this has been pretty easy. Like you, seeing others drink doesn't bother me. I've had beer in the fridge and wine in the cabinet since I quit.

I, too, have wondered why quitting has been so easy. I know it wasn't because of my level of abuse. I was a daily drinker and alcoholic for 30+ years.

I've read a lot on this site and others say sobriety is harder the more times you try. I wonder if it has been easy for me because this is the first time trying? I have also read that when you attend AA you have a spiritual awakening. I've googled "spiritual awakening," because I'm not sure I understand what it is. Could I have somehow been enlightened without AA? Has stopping been easy because I want sobriety more than anything else in the world? I don't know.

I do know I'm happy to be out of the darkness.

Be cautious and remember your reasons for quitting in the first place. Congrats on 30 days!

Toronto68

Busy, I don't get the part when you say you are confused about your level of abuse, but you don't have to delve into it if you don't want to. Glad it sounds like you are doing OK.

least

congrats on thirty days sober! A great start to a better life.

BobGT

Rev, I feel the same way although I only made it to day 8. I think feeling good gave me a false sense of wellness. And the next thing I knew I was waking up thinking, "Why the hell did I do that."

I can say without a doubt that the night of drinking was not worth it. Not even close! I couldn't even enjoy the drinking time, because I knew I was screwing up.

I think I learned a lot from my last slip, and hopefully, my experience will help you and others. Hang in there, and thanks to all.

kyb5

Wow that's exactly what I'm going through.

Congrats BusyBe! Keep up the good work.

CarolD

BusyBe

Well I used to drink all the time. Black out every weekend just party it up. Then basically after a dui, infidelities with my boyfriend, and blacking out more and more I had to slow myself down! So prior to these 30 days the last time I blacked out was Jan 4. but I still drank I just made sure to really watch myself. My complete sobriety now was encouraged by my boyfriend who should have been my fiance by now (we have known eachother for 11 years since High School) but my drinking and unfaithful actions keep pushing my dreams and goals further and further away. And it helps that Nick (my bf) is jumping on the sober train with me

But being sober has been so easy it makes me 2nd guess how bad of disease I have. I know it exists in me though.

Anna

Good for you for recognizing the way our minds can play tricks with us. The addict mind is relentless and it doesn't want to give up, so it will work on convincing you that your problem was not so bad.

I'm glad you have support from your boyfriend.

Toronto68

OK, I think I understand better now, it sounds like you actually tapered down some prior to quitting (rather than having an awful experience of some kind during a heightened amount of drinking). I went a little (extra) wild with my drinking around Sept, and then slowed down a bit and then quit in Nov. I didn't understand why I was able to stop either. But I was finally ready - and am just trying to keep it that way.

BusyBe

Yeah speaking of support from my bf. Well he also had been sober with me and this morning he informed me how he let me down and had a couple drinks last night. He said that he thinks his problem may be worse than he thought since obviously he cant keep a promise to himself or me.

I sorta didnt know how to react to it. I was neutral i guess. I mean I know it is hard to stay sober. But on the other hand I am the one with the problem and he was just going along for the ride to help me. Thankfully Im stronger than I thought. In my head Im thinking oh cool well now I have a get out jail free card but again I try to steer away from those thoughts and stay strong. Nick says hes going to try again. Stay sober with me, I hope he can keep it up also. But say he does fail again....would that mean he has a problem also? Or maybe he just hasnt had to choose like I have. I needed to get sober.

Toronto68

That's a good question, I don't know. Ironically it could be that he does not have a problem, even though he went back to it. It depends on whether he uses it to nuture a feeling or obliterate a feeling - whatever the case may be. I agree with sticking to your own path, by not using his switching back as an excuse. If he wants to stay away from it to help, that's supportive. If he has a problem too, hopefully that will come to light sooner rather than later.