dedubya

no idea why- except I cut my Klonopin by 25% yesterday. Its 4am now so I am obviously awake- but it's different, I am not awake from anxiety, I just have energy. Think I see something here. I am still drinking my 4 or so a day which sucks. Maybe that's the next step. I don't want to do too much at once. Todays plan-, work out, church with wife, ride my harley to my favorite hillside view. I know this is exciting for all of you- so I will cut it short, just on SR and thought I would post.
Catch you later
Dub

least

You know damn well what the 'next step' is, Dub. You just won't take it.

dedubya

I know Least- I have no answer other than I want to end this drinking and feeling that I get most of the time.. and it takes more than posting on here....
Dub

Fandy

Does your doctor know that you are taking Klonopin and drinking? I'm glad that you have less anxiety, but I still think that dx'ing yourself and self-medicating can be dangerous.....I think you need to decide if you are ready to quit or not.

wish you the best and hope you are aware of what could happen even by mistake.

yeahgr8

Dub which one are you anxious and feeling like crap or better, just read your other thread lol now im confused too!

You know you have to do more than posting here when you are ready:-)

gerryP

Dub,

I second Fandy. DOES your Dr. know you are drinking and taking Klonopin? Seriously? Did your Dr. instruct you to reduce your dosage 25%?

Wanting to END your drinking is NOT enough and you know that Dub. The simple truth is, You..don't...care... enough....to.... end....your.... drinking. Jeez, it doesn't even sound like you are enlisting the help of your Dr........ Sounds like you have worked out a way to reduce your anxiety while still being able to consume the alcohol you want to consume.

Working out, going to church, riding your Harley....(sigh)

Just a whole lotta excuses and rheteroic as usual Dub........

vegibean

Hey Dub, read your last post from yesterday. I posted some information that may be helpful to you.

littlefish

If it makes any difference, I realized by my millionth or so relapse that it didn't matter if it was just a couple of drinks a day. I had the same reaction to the first one that I would have at the end of a dozen: immediete mood alteration, anger rising quickly to the surface, accompanied by all the old feelings that drew me to the darkness.

It was like slowly turning the handle of a vise by millimeters, with my head in it. The volume of the alcohol wasn't the issue, but what it did to me....

Fandy

wow, LFish, i think you put it into words for me..."immediate mood alteration and anger"..., i used to feel like I was under a heavy wet blanket with my depression. Iused to get my most exercise jumping to conclusions and manufacturing this huge paranoia for no good reason.

since become regularly sober, I am much more rational, with so much less anxiety...(and lower BP too).

Dub, of course you're an adult and can do whatever you want....but I think you realize the solution is not what you are doing, it's as if you are looking for verification. I don't work a program, so i couldn't recommend one, but i hope you find something that clicks for you.

fragrantrose

I was feeling and looking so much better at 6 weeks sober...when stress got too much with kids,work etc (always an excuse) WHAM picked up a drink...downed that bottle of red vino real fast...and then some
WHY? i stopped going to meetings...made them a low priority...let that "drinking thinking" get out of hand

Aysha

I am glad you feel better, But for how long?
You need to get to the root of the problem and DO something about it. Anything dub, But just posting here over and over with the same issue and doing nothing isnt going to make anythign better.
Geez, try a meeting if you cant give up the job. Try something. There is always a way if you really want it bad enough.

Luckyv2

I don't get around here much but I saw this and was pleased to know that your still alive. I can tell you that there will come a time (if you live) that you will become sick and tired of what is going on. The alcohol and dope is not helping but we already know that. I am no one to give advise to you. I am just happy that you are here.

You still have a wife! OMG I wish I could turn a few pages back but that isn't the case. I lost all I had except for my life. I almost lost my mind taking the medications that the Doctors had me on. I am free from all mental meds now and feel 100% better. But I took myself completely off without supervision and the withdraw from the mind meds were worse than any withdraw I have ever been through. So just be careful.

Glad to see ya here posting. that does count for something.

Kmber2010

You are posting so you do want to quit but you have to take the real step. Seeking help and stopping. You need to see your Dr. and you need to take that plunge. The kind where you empty that bottle down the drain and feel relieved. You don't buy it, look at it and it is no longer part of you life. I have tried many times to quit, but still looked at the bottle and had second thoughts. I wasn't committed and it was that simple.

I hope you find the strength to address this with your Dr. and to finally start your sober journey. We are all doing it and while not easy....it is a life that is blessed.

Kim

Lenina

(((Dubs)))

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Did you post once that you were diagnosed with bi-polar? If so, have you had that checked out lately? I know alcohol really messed with my moods. Please get to a competent doctor, be honest and get checked out.

Love,

Lenina

Rusty Zipper

dub,

have to say your consistent

consistently DIY

root'n for you though dub