Hi friends

Old 03-09-2010, 07:44 PM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 331
Post Hi friends

I have been grateful to share this information with my DRY friends. From 3.9.10

The hardest thing about not drinking for one month is five o'clock. Or seven o'clock. Or whenever you would usually have your first drink. There's no physical craving to speak of. It's just that you've gotten used to having a drink. You've been drinking for a long time. Years. Decades. You've grown used to relishing the anticipation of the first one. The first drink is the one you've been waiting for, and it's just plain weird the first few times you deny it to yourself. In fact, the most difficult thing is not not drinking; it's saying to the bartender, "Club soda on ice, with a piece of lime." It's a little embarrassing.

The other hardest thing about not drinking is eleven o'clock. You've made it through your day and you're gonna watch some Jon Stewart. Or you've done the dinner engagement foisted upon you and now you've landed, spontaneously, at the house of some friends who are watching a late-night sporting event on the television, and nothing would be better than a nightcap or two. Or you've actually hosted a dinner party without drinking (no sweat; no one even noticed) and you just want to begin that slide toward sleep, maybe even nod off on the couch. Those are the moments when the drink not in your hand calls out to you.

Or sometimes, you just decide to sit down and ponder the vagaries of life. You know, you go out onto your back deck. Maybe there's a sunset or something. Without a drink in your hand, you're doing nothing. You're just sitting there. People will worry. With a drink at your side, though, you're doing something: You're having a drink.

And then there are times when having a drink would just make your situation better. Say you go see one of your favorite musicians and his large band play and say that you are with the woman you love and some friends and say that one of those friends is a beautiful woman who just as the music swells sits down next to you. And say that she smells just fantastic and you're actually thinking, Well, this couldn't be much better. And just at that moment the guy in the row in front of you returns to his seat carrying two tumblers (real glass tumblers) containing ice and amber liquid and you can hear the clink of the ice against the glass (or think you can) and, moments later, you swear that you can smell that the liquid is, in fact, bourbon. Well, that's when you realize that this moment actually could be better.

Overall, the first eleven days are the worst. For the first eleven days, it's all downside, no benefit. You don't need a drink, but you also don't see any real reason not to drink. But as the days crawl toward the halfway point, you begin to see some upside. You have no trouble falling asleep, which is a surprise. Your mood is better; you feel more optimistic. If you're an athlete, you become better at your sport: You see the ball more clearly, you are a little quicker, the next day a little less sore. You work out harder and feel better afterward. It's nice, at the end of the night, not to have to think about whether you can drive home or not. You're hungrier, which may be a mixed blessing. You sleep more, not less. And as the month of your estrangement from alcohol winds down, each of the positive effects get a little more pronounced. (The surprising thing is that you don't lose any weight. Your cholesterol level changes only slightly, though for the better.)

In the end, on the last day, you have mixed feelings about that first drink. The day after your first day back, you decide not to drink. The day after that, too. But then you slide back into your old life. You get drunk a lot faster than you remember. (This remains true for some time.) As much as anything, the month teaches you that not drinking is an option. Just not an option that you will choose all that often.

My last drink was my last. January 2009.
Sober recovery
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Old 03-10-2010, 05:20 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 40
Wonderful post. Thank you.
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Old 03-10-2010, 05:32 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
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Bryan, and as I start to read......................

The hardest thing about not drinking for one month is five o'clock. Or seven o'clock.
I'm thinking AM, morning............ know how glad I am THAT'S not going on any more?

Today, and right at this moment, I'm waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.
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Old 03-10-2010, 05:51 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 40
Man, am I ever drinking lots of coffee these days...LOL...but it's such a treat!

I went for a (decaf) after work last occurred to me as I was picking up groceries, "A coffee would be great right now!" when a few short weeks ago it would have been, "Might as well stop somewhere for a couple of glasses of wine on the way unwind..."

(Which would quickly turn into: Stop by liquor store, how am I going to get all the groceries, get home & make dinner on time, do I have gum? etc etc etc)

Life is good.
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Old 03-10-2010, 06:03 AM
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
The thing about alcoholism is that is comes in so many forms in relation to behaviours when drinking.

For me I was a blackout binge-drinker so there was never just a few drinks to make a moment better. It was total, utter debauchery and that's how I liked it. The events I would want to go to consisted of getting wasted or there's no point going.

Nobody drank like me so I drank alone as it was less hassle. For me to drink means to drink and nothing else - no getting up to go to work, pah... screw life I just wanna drink as life is sh*t... That is the thinking as soon as i take a drink.

Once the AM drinking started for me then there was no going back. I tried and tried to only have a 'sesh' limited to a Friday night but everytime I would be drinking as soon as I woke up usually about 6.00AM. I would be wasted by 8AM and round the shop with the school kids buying sweets ready to go to school and me wondering wtf happened to me, buying K cider 8.4%. I Would vomit when i opened the can as the smell would make me wretch but in a way I would smile to myself as it would make room in my stomach so I could down the 500ml can in one gulp and feel the booze burn my stomach and then the glow warm my bones and all the shame and hopelessness slip away. The next one would be down and then the next and then bam... wake up in my bed at about 4.00pm in my bed. I must have looked a joke staggering and chuntering to myself swigging that. "Please share responsibly" ii said on the cans of special-brew 9% superstrength lager. I used to smile to myself with that total joke. Like you buy that to "share responsibly" lol.

This was how my drinking binges were for the last 12 months of my drinking. I could never have coped having to live like that daily + there would be shed loads of Cocaine and E's added to the mix too. So the shame of spending all that money only added to the heartache, not to mention the comedowns. The drugs were there ultimately to fuel my alcoholism as they would keep me awake and stop me from blacking out so i could prolong the binges into days. Also try to search for that illusive ultimate high. No-sooner as it came it went again, what a waste of time.

I am glad that I don't put myself through that anymore. 'just for today i do not drink alcohol' I am grateful for that.

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Old 03-10-2010, 03:28 PM
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Thank you so much for sharing that. It really brings the past to the present and that's a good thing for this person. Thank you again.
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