Just curious
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 33
Just curious
Hi all,
Reading a few of the posts, there seems to be lots of very accomplished, educated, intelligent people. I know growing up I had the "over achiever" tag and I wonder if that has had an effect on my drinking - I think it may well have. Not in the least the fact that somewhere inside I felt cool and sophisticated hanging out at the latest trendy clubs/bars (vast difference from my very nerdy, lonely "goody two=shoes" high school days). I think also had an effect in that I felt so ashamed and disgusted in myself for drinking the way I do I knew it was affecting my performance - so I thought how better to stop feeling bad then have another drink?
Anyway, jsut wondering what other people's experiences have been with the pressure bought on by having the image of an "over achiever"?
Reading a few of the posts, there seems to be lots of very accomplished, educated, intelligent people. I know growing up I had the "over achiever" tag and I wonder if that has had an effect on my drinking - I think it may well have. Not in the least the fact that somewhere inside I felt cool and sophisticated hanging out at the latest trendy clubs/bars (vast difference from my very nerdy, lonely "goody two=shoes" high school days). I think also had an effect in that I felt so ashamed and disgusted in myself for drinking the way I do I knew it was affecting my performance - so I thought how better to stop feeling bad then have another drink?
Anyway, jsut wondering what other people's experiences have been with the pressure bought on by having the image of an "over achiever"?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
I come from a 'smart' family. Educated professional parents. I was always told I too was 'smart' but I never believed it. I never felt smart, I felt dumb and useless. My drinking was one way to forget all that and just not feel anything (until the next day!). Now that I'm sober I can work on my personal 'issues' without alcohol clouding my judgement.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 33
funny how two polararised situations can lead down the same road - My granparents were "smart people" and demanded the best - that made my mum, uncle and aunt go in the opposite direction and rebel. In turn I can remember a conversation at 18 with my mum and uncle in which they said "what would you know - you have never lived and doubt you will goody-two shoes. So what did i do? well it sounded like a challenge to me haha
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi, I think there are many reasons as to why people begin to drink/drug the way they do.
I used to try to rationalise all of the varying reasons as to why I drank like I did.
But now I accept myself as an alcoholic I view my environmental factors of being only a factor in the rate at which I reached acceptance of my alcoholism.
I suppose I believe that my mind was born alcoholic in the sense that I experience a different reaction to most when I take a drink. I just got to have more and there ain;t really any other way. There never really was from day 1, it just took me 9 years to reach that acceptance.
I believe that regardless of any environmental factors I would have still turned out alcoholic as I would have eventually taken a drink so I would have been hooked from day 1. it may have just taken many, many more years to get where i got.
Regardless anyway I live in the present reality of what is and that is that I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict.
peace and love
I used to try to rationalise all of the varying reasons as to why I drank like I did.
But now I accept myself as an alcoholic I view my environmental factors of being only a factor in the rate at which I reached acceptance of my alcoholism.
I suppose I believe that my mind was born alcoholic in the sense that I experience a different reaction to most when I take a drink. I just got to have more and there ain;t really any other way. There never really was from day 1, it just took me 9 years to reach that acceptance.
I believe that regardless of any environmental factors I would have still turned out alcoholic as I would have eventually taken a drink so I would have been hooked from day 1. it may have just taken many, many more years to get where i got.
Regardless anyway I live in the present reality of what is and that is that I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict.
peace and love
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
DP - It is an interesting post. I do think that we can all be a bit "too smart for our own good". Our ability to conceal our drinking ... our ability to create alter-egos and separate lives ... our ability to be in complete denial with ourselves ...
For me, recovery requires that I try not to over-think why it works or what it all means. If I spend too much time analyzing the steps or trying to compare myself to others, I usually end up being unhappy and at risk of drinking.
So, I have decided to stop worrying about how it works and just focus on practicing the basic techniques in recovery ...
- think of others before yourself
- don't compare to others, just compare to how I was yesterday
- try to help someone today (alcoholic or not)
- remember that tomorrow is another day and today's feeling will not last forever
... etc.
I'm not religious, but I pray every day because it seems to help (not sure why, but who cares why ...)
When I'm feeling glum, I go to a meeting.
When I was trying to use my intellect, it pretty much got in the way.
For me, recovery requires that I try not to over-think why it works or what it all means. If I spend too much time analyzing the steps or trying to compare myself to others, I usually end up being unhappy and at risk of drinking.
So, I have decided to stop worrying about how it works and just focus on practicing the basic techniques in recovery ...
- think of others before yourself
- don't compare to others, just compare to how I was yesterday
- try to help someone today (alcoholic or not)
- remember that tomorrow is another day and today's feeling will not last forever
... etc.
I'm not religious, but I pray every day because it seems to help (not sure why, but who cares why ...)
When I'm feeling glum, I go to a meeting.
When I was trying to use my intellect, it pretty much got in the way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 36
I don't know that I'm an over achiever, but I've always been ambitious and have achieved most of my goals, and have a job I'm proud of. I've also always been terribly hard on myself. I can sit in one spot for hours and mentally beat myself up. When I screw up, I assume people are thinking the worst, and I find it hard to forgive myself. I think that's led to me feeling isolated and lonely, which led to me becoming addicted.
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