Artifical

I thought the new year would bring me what I wanted and I would stick to my guns no matter what. Its now Feb and I must have used drugs about 10 times in the last month, so Im far from sober.

I've had 2 weeks where I was clean and It felt sort of great, kinda like "what do i do next with my life?", but I just felt kinda lost and didnt know what I was supposed to be feeling or doing.

Now on the way home from work, I think "i'll have a joint when i get home, then figure out what todo for the rest of the night", im back into my old habbits and started taking a few tablets (what ever i can find again).

I do see a drugs councillour every 2 weeks, but I just dont think its working, or maybe im just not putting enough effort in. I just feel like I dont know how to control my cravings anymore, like im scared of feeling sober, I just kinda miss the euphoria that substances gives me, even though its way too short lived and has far too many drawbacks.

Life just seems that much harder.

thirtybubba

Yup.

Me, I'm terrified... but that bit about the short lived euphoria and the excessive drawbacks have me trying something new to see if what they say is true... if nothing changes, nothing changes... so I'm seeing if changing something makes it somewhat better/tolerable. Cause I just don't wanna go back to living like that.

But I'm still terrified.

Take care, try again & see...
TB

Dee74

Here's that recovery link list I spoke about in the January thread

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...i-recover.html

I hope you find something useful there
D

least

Welcome to SR! Do check out our substance abuse forum. Lots of good info and support there from people going thru the same problems as you.