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Newbie: Need Some Ideas for Staying Busy

Old 01-30-2010, 06:40 PM
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Newbie: Need Some Ideas for Staying Busy

I'm new here. I decided to give up alcohol. I'm not a daily drinker, but I binge drink myself to oblivion nearly every time I do partake. I have no self-control and it's going to eventually lead to more serious problems than those I have experienced so far.

Since I'm the type who's accustomed to going out and partying every weekend, I'm a bit restless now. I'm too early in the recovery process to subject myself to the temptation of being around friends who are drinking at a bar.

Any ideas on where to socialize on weekend nights with sober people? I'm fairly open-minded, but I'm drawing blanks right now.

Thanks all.
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Old 01-30-2010, 06:47 PM
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Welcome to SR...

I found many non drinking new friends
when I started to attend AA meetings...

Congratulations on your wise decision
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Old 01-30-2010, 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by AlcoholFTL View Post
Any ideas on where to socialize on weekend nights with sober people? I'm fairly open-minded, but I'm drawing blanks right now. Thanks all.
AA meetings might be a good start. It's said that it is good to go on the evenings you're most likely to drink.

A group of friends and I will go to meeting and then to a coffee shop. We have a trendy little one here with live music. Coffee shops are nice.. and you can bring a lap top. ;-)
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Old 01-30-2010, 07:01 PM
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Here is a list our SR members compiled.....

v
150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.

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Old 01-31-2010, 07:52 AM
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Try hosting a dinner party at your house where you plan and cook the meal. That way, you still get the social interaction you are looking for, without going to a bar. Have theme nights where you try different things, like "Thai night", or "Italian night". Just make sure no one brings wine

Follow up dinner with some board games like Risk, or Monopoly, or Pictionary where you have to focus on the strategy of the game rather than focusing on the fact that you aren't drinking.
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Old 01-31-2010, 08:03 AM
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Hi there! I found that once I mentally just took drinking completely off the table as an activity, that I naturally started doing all the things I had been neglecting in favor of drinking. I was a binger too - and every weekend was lost to drinking completely. I work a lot during the week, so I stopped shopping for clothes on the weekend, stopped getting my hair done, my nails done, cleaning my house, doing laundry, shopping for FOOD - though always had plenty of booze...

It was so great to take care of myself and my environment. And I had a real sense of accomplishment that I had't had in forever.
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Old 01-31-2010, 08:10 AM
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Humble, I hear you! Its only 10:00 AM, but I already have a load of laundry in the washer, and a load in the dryer! I used to be in bed until at least noon on Sundays. After the laundry is done, I am off to the store to get the ingredients for a mushroom risotto - I've never made it before, so it will be interesting to see how it turns out. But I have to admit, I am still procrastinating on cleaning out my home office....
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Old 01-31-2010, 08:19 AM
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Omega - hey, Rome wasn't built in a day! LOL! Look at what you've already accomplished, that would've NEVER gotten done had you been drinking/hungover/doing a bit of hair of the dog.

What I do is I make a list called, "Things I Did This Weekend That I Could NOT Have Done Had I Been Drinking"...I write it all down, then refer back to it and go, "Wow..."

Here's the first one I wrote:

1) Grocery Shopping on Saturday
2) Make breakfast for hubby and I on Sunday
3) Made Beef Stew for Sunday dinner, and Made Meatloaf for dinner during week
4) Got my hair done
5) Returned some items to the store
6) Bought some cool make up at Sephora
7) Worked from home Sun night 3 hrs.
8) Slept peacefully and got "real" rest
9) I remembered everything I said and did all weekend

Things I didn't do:

1) Make an ass of myself at any point
2) Forget Friday and Saturday night in a black out
3) Have paralyzing anxiety shame and guilt
4) Sleep ALL DAY Sunday
5) Feel physically and mentally awful Mon-Wed.
6) Hate myself for doing it again
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Old 01-31-2010, 08:24 AM
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Oh, I think the mess in my office is larger than Rome! LOL! Thanks for sharing your lists, I would make my own list of "Things I Didn't Do", but mine is pretty much the same as yours.
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Old 01-31-2010, 10:40 AM
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Thanks for the input. The list will help.

What's difficult is that I'm in my 20s and I'm not married or in a serious relationship. If I was, I don't think I'd have a problem. The relationship would probably strengthen since many temptations would disappear after neglecting the bar/club lifestyle. Since I'm not, I can't really entertain myself or meet new people by sticking around the house. The dinner party idea is good, but none of my friends show an interest in ceasing the binge drinking, so I don't know too many people who will be interested in a sober night.

I never wanted to consider AA since I didn't think I had a major problem. I'm just a social drinker who gets out of control. I've never drank alone and had no interest in doing it. I know this is a common response and I may meet others with first-hand experience on how to deal with what I'm feeling, so maybe I should look into it.
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Old 01-31-2010, 01:58 PM
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Welcome to SR AlcoholFTL

There's many things on that 150 things to do list that don't need a partner...and you may meet others doing some of the things?

D
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:18 PM
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Here are some more ideas. Hope you find some that interest you.
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